the real dramatic pause

the real dramatic pause

 

 

insightful eyes

dramatic potion in pupil dialect

and i, the student

rioting within the retinal bliss

totally at loss to place words

upon their beauty...

 

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

8/7/15

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

"the real dramatic pause"
Jacob erin-cilberto,
This was a stream of consciousness string of delight. One comma and then it doesn't really end. It simply gently fades into a sweet memory.
"dramatic potion in pupil dialect" seen in the inner reality of life essence. You caught it. "i the student rioting within the retinal bliss" Beautiful Jacob!
To me this writing is a true accomplishment in bringout out so much from a moment in time or moments strung together.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Kathy,

j.

[rubie]

"retinal bliss"....love that phrase!

it's okay to be "totally at loss to place words upon their beauty" because when one looks into the eyes of another, words are often superfluous.

terrific write!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, they are...thank you, rubie.

j.

[Beccy]

A glance across a crowded room can say more than a thousand words. Truly the eyes are the windows to both our souls and the real inner self.

Beccy.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, Beccy.

j.

[Cherry Pepperweb]

If only I could learn to read someone's eyes...
I wonder if it ever happens will that mean I am in love?
You'd have to be really in tune with someone to read their eyes
I love this.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Cherry.

j.

[emmajoy]

Such fine writing, jacob. Tis extraordinary how a little something extra can be seen in a look. Eyes are the mirror to ..

Second review; the first one was crass, sorry.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

:)))
thank you, emma.....

j.

[emmajoy]

Just slowly checking this one.. ummm... yes, passable!

[Alfred Kukitz]

Wow! Wondrous! Powerful in an elemental sense! Great work Jacob!

regards,
al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Al.

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

"Retinal bliss".....oh yea, eyes can mesmerize and hypnotize. We are left to stare in awe....when words will no suffice to a poet, romance has taken control of the pen. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ah yes, "the eyes have it"

thank you for your words Lydi.....

j.

[Adam Adams]

Romance's being reflected off your words... for the piece! Very generous & captivating write it is. The choice of words... especially the way you play with the analogies of love-words's one of the most fascinating things that I enjoyed reading in words. Wonderful imagery!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, Adams.

j.

[gabrielle]

This is like an incredible prelude to a beautiful love story.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, gabrielle....

j.