SO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE

Destinee Fontaine is grappling with the fact that a childhood friend of hers has been killed. Finding out who the killer is takes Destinee back to a tough time in her life.

Death is the hardest concept for people to understand.  I mean, it’s been around since the beginning of time, and we still don’t know where people go when they die. There are endless questions regarding the spirit, our loved ones, if there is a GOD, and so on.  I know what I’ve been taught to believe, but others have been taught to believe differently, so who is to say that I am right…

        When you are young, you really don’t have the big picture of death.  It’s around you, but parents and other adults sort of keep you busy so you can’t focus on it.  The older you get, the more you focus on it.  The older you get, the more people around you die, and thus, the more funerals you attend.  As you get older, death gets all up in yo business…

        I have been to many, many funerals in my lifetime, and they are pretty much the same… a lot of crying; the preacher saying nothing but good things about the deceased; and the choir or soloist singing songs.  We usually always get up so that we can look at the body one more time.

        As much as all funerals are the same, they also can be very different.  Depending on who the deceased is, and how close they were to you, a lot changes, including your feelings on that day, where you sit at the funeral, and the role you play in the funeral…

        She was my ace.  I wanted to be just like her.  Her name was Layla.  Layla Townes, and we grew up together.  She lived right down the street from me.  Layla was short with long, wavy hair. She had deep-set eyes, with a smile that just invited you in.  Her body type was athletic, although she had to work harder at it than most.  All the girls envied her, and all the boys wanted to be with her.  Growing up, it seemed like she had a different boyfriend every year.  I used to think she said ‘yes’ to any guy wanting to be her boyfriend just so they wouldn’t feel bad; then break up for the  smallest of reasons.  That was Layla, forever wanting to make others feel good about themselves, even at her own expense.

        Layla and I met at basketball practice when we were ten years old.  She hadn’t been in the neighborhood that long, when her parents decided to sign her up to play basketball in the local youth league.  Being that we lived in the same neighborhood, she was placed on my team.  I had already established myself as the best player in the league by then, so with a new player coming to the team, I didn’t expect that to change…

        Layla went on to be the MVP of the league that year, with me finishing in 2nd place . I would win the award the following year, with Layla finishing 2^nd.  This would be our relationship growing up.  We would compete in everything, and we became best of friends because of it. 

        Somewhere along the way, things changed.  I can’t pin point it; it was our Jr. year in high school, maybe our Sr. year Layla started acting different.  We were still cool, but she was changing in very noticeable ways.  First, her hair was cut real low.  All of her beautiful locks were gone.  I couldn’t believe it, and neither could half the school.  She now sported a boy’s hair cut; a fade is what it was called back then.  Next, she showed me a tattoo that she had gotten.  First, of all, I couldn’t believe she had gotten a tattoo because we had just talked about that 6 months prior, and had agreed that we would never desecrate our bodies like that; but what shocked me even more, was what it was a tattoo of… Her tattoo was on her inner thigh.  It was paw prints.  Small paw prints, like that of a tiger, not huge paw prints like that of a bear.  The paw prints were like footprints leading up to her vagina.  There was also a small inscription below the paw prints.  As I looked closer, the inscription read: “Creep In”… Wow!!!

        Layla was outgoing, but, by the way she was raised, this was such a dramatic change.  We all go through changes in high school.  It’s all a part of growing up.  Who and what you will become as an adult is usually first formulated in grades 9-12, and from the ages of 14-18, then later in college or early adulthood; but, people generally find out who they will become in life in high school first… for the good, and the bad.  Layla’s friends, or should I say associates also began to change.  She was still my good friend throughout high school, but more and more she began to hang around girls that I thought were suspect.  This caused me to want to hang around Layla less and less.  I didn’t know the girls personally, however, I knew that they were not my cup of tea…

        We continued to play basketball together throughout high school, and we both were on track to make our dreams come true.  Our one dream was to get a Division I college basketball scholarship.  We were both very good.  Our team was one of the top teams in the state.  Plus, coach really sold us to recruiters, so as it stood, we were on our way to realizing our dreams...

        In high school, girls’ basketball began to change.  The girls were becoming different.  Layla liked the change, and embraced it.  I hated the change, and pushed back.  This affected our friendship to the point where by our senior year, we rarely hung out.  The new breed of basketball girl was gay, or lesbian, or whatever they wanted to be called.  Layla was a pioneer in this.  I couldn’t get with it, and I paid a hefty price…Layla’s price however, would be far greater.

        Here I am looking at Layla’s body as it lay in a casket, trying to figure out why she had to die so young.  She looks just as I remember her, except for the extra makeup.  She looks as if she is taking a nap, like we used to during our sleep-overs; only this time, she will never wakeup.  I can’t help but think if there was something that I could have done to change the course in her life.  I feel very guilty and I know that I shouldn’t.  When we stopped hanging out, I believe, is when Layla died…

        Talking with Layla’s mother, I was able to find out the details surrounding Layla’s death.  Her mom told me that she began dating women in high school, which I figured out on my own.  But, her mom said that as she got older, she didn’t know how to pick a good partner.  She said that every girlfriend Layla had would hit on her.  Layla was the female in all of her relationships, and thus, she always chose the bigger, huskier, stronger girls to be her mates.  The Layla that I knew had plenty of confidence, and could definitely throw a punch, so everything that her mom was telling me didn’t quite make sense.  I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around this Layla.  From what I was told, Layla’s skills at picking the right partner were so bad, that she contemplated going straight because the ‘gay’ thang may not be for her.  Ultimately she continued dating women. 

        Layla’s mom told me that Layla has had multiple black eyes, broken ribs, a concussion.  One of her girlfriends tried to run her over with her own vehicle.  She was living with one woman, and the woman got jealous one night and put all of Layla’s clothes out in the front yard and burned them.  That was the relationship in which afterward Layla contemplated going straight.  After high school I had my own issues, so I didn’t keep in touch with Layla.  I had no idea it was like this for her. 

        Layla’s last partner was the worst of all.  From what Layla’s mom told me Layla wanted to leave her; however, she didn’t want to let Layla go.  She had been cheating on Layla, and Layla saw some text messages, and confronted her.  But, before confronting her, Layla called her mom to come over, because she wanted to leave that night.  Layla’s mom thought that it would be as simple as ok get your stuff, get in the car, and lets go.  Her mom began to breakdown as she recounted the events of that fateful night.  Layla confronted her girlfriend about the text messages, and a big fight ensued.  It started off verbal. They both were cursing, and saying some pretty hurtful things that her mom could not repeat to me.  Her mom kept telling her let’s go, let’s go, but they each wanted to get the last word in.  Finally, Layla turned to leave with her mom, when she turned back around, and her mom did muster up the strength to tell me this: Layla turned back around right before heading out the door, and said, “Oh yeah, I cheated on you too.”  Layla then turned to walk out the door.  Her mom heard a pop, and Layla stopped walking.  She made a slight turn, and then fell.   Layla was gone; shot in the back.  As her mom was crying and trying to get her to wake up, she heard another pop.  When she looked up, Layla’s girlfriend dropped dead.  She had taken her own life.  I could not believe what her mother told me.  I don’t know why I asked this, but I just had to know the girlfriends name.  Her mom said “Rosie…Rosie Flowers, she was from you and Layla’s high school, you may know her.”  I said yes ma am, I do.  I gave her mom my condolences, and I prayed right then and there that my friend has found the peace in heaven that she could not find on this earth.

        Death, such a complicated thing.  It comes in many shapes and sizes.  People experience it in multiple ways. And there is never a good time for it. There is however, one constant about death and dying.  When someone you love dies, it is always hard to say goodbye…

Author's Note

Is it interesting?

Reviews

[Sesame]

Hello Erik,

Thanks for entering the competition. Yes it is interesting, but alas you're not a winner this time. I do not have the time to provide a detailed critique on all the submissions, but a few remarks:

- the curly font you are using is terrible, it makes it difficult to read the story, however this did not influence my judgment, since I have converted all submission to the same style before reading.
- I liked the theme and the description of the action around the shooting
- however, there is a serious lack of dialogue here and therefore the characters stay rather flat. A shame since you have already created some moments where dialogue could be easily used, for example every time you write: "Layla's mom"
- I can understand the urge to describe the way Death and GOD and what it means, but honestly I think the first four paragraphs actually weaken the story that you tell afterwards about Layla
- Also give the following some thought: in a short story you should try to focus on one particular event (here the Death of Layla), of course you can give this event more impact by describing character, important life events, etc.. But in this story you go way back into the story between the two girls, starting from childhood. Ask yourself: are all these events relevant to give the story a strong climax?

Regards,

Sesame

@followsesame on Twitter

www.themagiccave.com

[Erik T. Jackson]

Thank you Sesame for the remarks. I will take them into consideration...

[Coyote Poetry]

The story is interesting.
"Death, such a complicated thing. It comes in many shapes and sizes. People experience it in multiple ways. And there is never a good time for it. There is however, one constant about death and dying. When someone you love dies, it is always hard to say goodbye…"
You told a good story and left the reader with a lesson. I agree. A goodbye is never easy. Even when we are apart. I lost good friends in far-away wars. Broke my heart. Always the part that wished you were near and could of done something. Thank you for sharing the outstanding story.
Coyote

[Erik T. Jackson]

Thank you for reading my story Coyote. Death congers up emotions that we have at times repressed. It's not always a bad thing to think about death. I hope it helps people find comfort in talking about the subject.

[Coyote Poetry]

Death is hard always. Some know the pain ASAP and some of us learn later. A very good write.