Hello Gypsies

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Hello Gypsies,

In unearthed dystopia,

Weave, wash, and alone,

Caress of nothing,

No more to ask than rations,

Warmth of life,

Yet numb is abundant,

Cold breath,

Mind on freeze-frame,

And no strive for knowledge.

This abyss of grot, grog and fire souls,

Soil keeps us human,

No eyes cast skyward,

In this cratered Earth,

Where only gypsies linger,

Goodbye the age of consumerism.

Author's Note

criticism is welcome :)

Reviews

[emmajoy]

Will have to read this over, seems a complexity of thought. Seems you think of gypsies as being people of the earth and air, everyone else being unaware .. or is that these people are the ones you feel strongly part of .. ok, will return with a brushed clean mind, to see what more I can fine.

I do know however or as well, that you're a fine writer who used language in a quite unique way. More people should read you. Please invite them..

[cartera]

The 'message' at the end was just a little too brutal after all your fine phraseology.
The last line, for me, brought it down to a less mature level. Fine writing though overall.

[Allen Smuckler]

great write erikaguest...
loved the way you captured the essence and how each line complimented the next...
It's a subject that I think we can all relate to or at least have aspired to...freedom to choose...
allen

[iamkim]

very good choice of words. i love the imagery you have created in this piece. well done :)

[LoneWolf]

This write made me daydream, like riding in a car watching the scenery rush past, the images do not essentially correlate but they transport the mind. This was intriguing and pleasing, nice write.

[Sethnicity]

I love the subject matter thou this seems a bit bare... A strong skeloton makes for a mighty Building! :)

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

Good words.

[Julie Deshtor]

This is powerful. In Russia, I'd call this "abstract poetry" - the kind I admire most. Basically, images, snippets, even single words are used which, while not making gramatical sense, all together evoke a certain response from the reader.
On a personal, non-review note, I also deeply agree with the message.

[Poetic Beauty]

This is very descriptive and the imagery is described so well. the last two lines really catch the readers attention.

[Brad]

we all are gypsies in heart, flow like dust...this was very prolific, one of those ones that grabs you emotionally, and slaps the crap out of you, i thouroughly enjoyed.

[Coyote Poetry]

"This abyss of grot, grog and fire souls,
Soil keeps us human,"
A amazing poem. So many statements stood out. Your poem create good visions and something to think about in your words. I like the ending to the outstanding poem. Thank you.
Coyote