What I Wish I Hadn't Done

(04/25/22)

i do not believe i miss you.

nor do i believe those years

of my life existed.

we both know i am a liar,

though i wish i hadn't told my

truth when i did.

maybe then i'd spare us both

my chaotic spews of anger

when you left.

maybe if i had been less obsessed

with the ideas of truth

and death.

i regret being so selfish

that i could not tell any other side

than my own.

i do not regret painting myself

as the villain.

my regret becomes compensation

before it will ever become an apology.

and i will never not

regret it.