Comforting Presence

I feel her presence near
I feel a comfort here
here in this old house
I sense my dead spouse
I sense her spirit here
she's been gone for years
I finally went back home
where so much joy was known
but that joy turned to tears
and nothing on Earth cheered
she and I were alone
now her presence is known
so here in this old house I will remain
next to her ghostly presence I feel no pain.

Reviews

[Charles]

A technically sound poem that strains only a little bit to complete rhymes. A good message as well, one that flows directly from top to bottom (as it should). Without punctuation I treated the last two lines as 'run on lines,' making the reading a bit hard, but after moving back and going at it again, I finally got the reading right. Something to think about... how others will read these last two lines. This concept isn't easy to explain without reading the lines for you... try reading with a pause after 'remain' and then read again with no pause after 'remain' (the lack of punctuation makes this a possibility), but a consequent, forced pause between 'presence' and 'I.' Subtle difference I think, but it's subtlety that makes poetry the art it is.

[Ellen Hammond]

A lovely heartfelt poem with good rhyme and rhythm. Often we move away because we can't bear the pain of remaining alone in a home we shared with a deceased loved one. But eventually, we can glean comfort from the very home we fled. I really like this poem.

[Mithridate]

good rhyming. i can almost feel the haunting joy....very good

[Jessica Mai]

aww i find this really sweet "so here in this old house I will remain
next to her ghostly presence I feel no pain." So true that some people are not actually attached to the house, but the memories and the feelings inside it.

[Felicity]

love the flow of this poem, pretty sweet writing!

[Ice QueenJen]

this was a deep poem....... sometimes I feel the presence of my bf being near and it comforts me. I like that you felt a comfort, not a scary presence- not all ghosts have a mean spirit.

[ChristianM]

This is a little creepy but it conveys the feeling of losing a loved one.
Nicely done

[Devons]

This is an oddly eerie and somehow bluntly bleak poem. It hints through a brief snatch of story so much that is undocumented.. Leaving the imagination to pencil-in the rest.

It flows nicely and gives the impression of having been momentarily thrust upon the page during the short epiphany of an inspired idea.

Interesting piece of work.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very interesting poem. It would be difficult to stay in a house where you have spend years with someone. I like the story and the ending. A excellent poem.
Coyote