The Ghost Of Mary

From out of her grave she rose

Heaven has no place for her she knows

her soul must walk the earth

in a dark rebirth

from out of the cemetery

came the ghost of Mary

down a lonely road

her ghostly image flowed

into the house she used to own

her haunting presence became known

nothing in her house was the same

and in her soul she felt the pain

then in her an unholy fire began to burn

and on this family she would turn

she made knives fly through the air

blood flowed with each tear

they died by her ghostly hand

and her ghost will forever haunt this land.

Reviews

[Twilight]

This certainly has a good rhyming scheme, flow and an atmosphere of dread and tension. It would be even better, if this piece was a little longer, perhaps? The wording is certainly appropriate, for a poem with this sort of theme.

Whilst reading, your creative descriptions help me to imagine this scenario, as if you were portraying a real-life legend or memories! Thankyou, for sharing with with us. And, for entering it in my latest Contest!

[Coyote Song]

Wow, I felt really sorry for Mary at first then by the time I reached the end I was terrified by her. A tortured soul doomed to walk the earth destroying the living as
her pain, I'm sure, will never end. I really liked this Eric. It has a soft misty feel, ghostly, and then vivid images of blood and death. Nicely written.

[Eric Cox]

Thank you!! :)

[Coyote Song]

:)

[Jon]

Well written and rymed great, good job

[chris-the-writer]

Real nice, this one/

PROS: Great flow. Good rhyming. I like how Mary isn't just a ghost aimlessly wandering, but that you mention how heaven has no place for her (probably because she's pure evil...).

CONS: just a few flow issues, with some lines having significantly more syllables the the previous ones and that kind of messes up the flow. This is a slight issue, however.

Overall, good job and keep it up!

[TL Boehm]

I too am curious about your inspiration for this one. Nicely done.

[Sean M. Addams]

i like ghost stories thought you did well on this... imagery was good...ending was cool.. nice work!!!

[~Mariposa Una Lila~]

I love this ....awsome chills and thrill in this one sweets...you win! x0x0x Excelent!!! Bravo way to gooooooooooo!! Baby this is your lucky day! Thank you so much for you submission to my contest..im still sitting here shaking.....great poem! I just Love it! x0x0x

[Tina Kline]

Well written poem about one angry ghost!
I don't want to encoutner Mary!

Tina

[Charlie Hawthorne]

Very eerie, but well written. I am curious as to what inspired this?