That Girl

That girl is so hot I thought to myself while I looked across the room. She had dark brown hair, hair that shimmered when struck by the fluorescent lights of the classroom. She always wore heavy eye makeup. I didn't necessarily like the heavy eye makeup on her. I actually felt that she shouldn't hide her natural beauty like that, but it was something that made her stand out. Her name was Amber, by the way. Something about her facial features gave off an air of exoticness. It seemed like she was at least part middle eastern or something, but she was pale. I noticed that she had a lot of friends on Facebook, and it appeared like she went out a lot with her friends. But to me when I looked at her in class she seemed shy. Maybe even as shy and as insecure as me-- maybe that's why she wore the heavy eye makeup. She only talked when being called on. I actually stared at her quite a bit in class, I couldn't really focus on what the professor was saying. The professor had the room set up to where half of the desks were on one side of the room, and half on the other, each side facing the middle where he would lecture, so I would stare across the room at her. It was a small class relative to other college classes, about 30 people. S**t, she probably saw me staring and probably hates me I thought. She probably thinks I'm a creeper; she's probably wondering why I'm staring at her.

* * * *

The next class period we had a test, so I probably should have been listening to the professor go over the review. I remember that there were a lot of questions that I wasn't sure of, but I guessed as best as I could. Most of the ones I was unsure of, though, I had them down to two answers. If I get an A on this test I PROMISE I will talk to Amber I thought to myself.

* * * *

I actually got a 90 on the test, which I honestly wasn't expecting at all. Ok Jeremy, I told myself, you have to go talk to her. I didn't know what to talk to her about, though. I thought about talking to her after class and saying, “Oh, so what did you make on the test.” But then I thought that it might seem like I asked just to brag about my A. Ah, don't chicken out, you promised! So when class let out, I packed up my stuff very slowly because I noticed that Amber was usually one of the last ones to leave. Ok, here we go. As I walked beside her I tried talking. I could feel the words in my throat but they just wouldn't come out. I then lost her in the crowd in the hallway.

* * * *

The next day I felt pretty dejected about it and decided that I was probably never meant to talk to Amber. I figured I wouldn't be mad at myself if I didn't even attempt to talk to her. But, after coming out of my ENGL 1101 class a couple of weeks later, I spotted Amber and two of her friends exiting the building. I was going that way anyway, so I followed and saw them cross the street. I didn't want it to be awkward, but I kind of wanted to talk to Amber but wasn't sure how, so I thought that I could either A: stay behind and wait it out. B: Yell something stupid like, “Wait for me!” and catch up to them, or C: walk slowly and hope I don't catch up. Ok, C so I chose C. So, I started to walk very slowly (very hard for me because usually I'm an extremely fast walker). Oh s**t, I'm starting to catch up I thought. Better stop and pretend to text. I started walking again...what the heck how can I be catching up to them? I stopped walking and pretended to text again, squinting my eyes and having a perplexed look on my face in case they looked back and wondered why I stopped. So, back to walking...f**k, I'm catching up to them and they've stopped at a cross walk, oh well, better just play it cool and keep walking. By this time I was nipping at their heels. What the heck, they still haven't noticed me, what do I do? My heart began beating really fast and I began to sweat. How should I get their attention? If they turned back and saw me I thought that they would think I was being rude and creepy for not announcing myself. It's been like 20 seconds. Hurry, think of a way to alert them of your presence! I didn't want to scare them by blurting out “Hey!” when I'm right behind them. I whispered as loudly as I could and said, “Hey, Amber!” She jumped up, evidently startled and looked back and said, “Oh my gosh, you scared me! Hey, you're in my History class, right?”

“Yeah!” I said, sounding overly excited to try to make it seem like I was unaffected by her being scared by me.

“Do you like the class?” asked Amber.

“Er I guess...” I sounded kind of disgusted this time for some reason.

Everyone kept walking. I clutched onto the straps of my backpack, trying to think of something to say. If she looked back she would have seen a distressed look on my face. I walked right behind her and her friends for a few more minutes. Complete silence. Then they turned right to go to their dorms and I turned left to avoid making the situation becoming even more uncomfortable.

* * * *

“Wow, Dude,” said my roommate and best friend since high school. “You couldn't have made that anymore awkward...”

“Yeah, I know, I just didn't know what else to do, Ron,” I said
“Maybe you could have tried not being a weirdo?” he suggested.

“Ha yeah, I guess...” I said

“What does she look like?” asked Ron.

“Well she's a brunette and um... I'll just show you her Facebook,” I said.

“Stalker!” he said as he laughed, “But yeah, she is pretty, just go for it, man!”

“Naw, I don't think so, I'm probably not her type,” I said.

“Dude, just talk to her!” he exclaimed as his eyes widened. “Dude, you don' know that, just try! You're a good looking guy. I mean, you're not ugly or anything, you're at least average.” You know what, you need to get drunk so you will loosen up and talk to her.”

“Well, I noticed on her Facebook wall that she's going to the Gamma's frat party this weekend,” I said as I nervously chuckled.

“Oh my gosh, Jeremy! Well, It's a good thing you know that. I have a couple of friends in Gamma, we could go get you drunk, or at least buzzed, and you can talk to her there. If you don't talk to her I'll beat your a*s,” said Ron.

* * * *

The frat party was a lot like what I've seen on movies. Red Solo cups everywhere. They were all drinking Natty Light. Yuck, this stuff is nasty, I gotta drink it though so I can talk to this girl. Kinda sad, but true. I don't remember how many I had, but it was enough to get me slightly drunk. Ron and I stayed in the same vicinity as Amber until Ron went off to the back somewhere and left me, but I was still about twenty feet away from Amber. As soon as I felt drunk enough to not care, I went over to her. Well, what happened next was pretty awkward. I didn't throw up on her or anything cliché like that. See, as I was standing against the wall drinking, I was thinking of the most outlandish things to say to Amber (but was most certainly not planning on actually saying them) and quietly laughing to myself. When I finally went over to talk to her, I was at a loss for words. I blurted out the first thing that came to mind, which was one of the outlandish things I was thinking of:

“Hey, Amber.”

“Hey you're-” said Amber.

“You know that feeling you get when you haven't eaten in a while and want some food? Well, my heart feels like that,” I said.

“What the he-” she said.

“My heart gurgled, and it wants youuuuu!” I said, kind of slurring my words.

Her eye makeup was as prominent as ever; it contrasted with the whites in her eyes as she opened them widely, staring and giving me a look of disgust. I could see her friend beside her snickering. She didn't even think it was funny, she just walked off I think and left me standing there. I went to the back to find Ron and just kinda sat off to the side until he was done playing pool and talking to his friends. I teared up right then and there. I tried smiling and fake yawning to act like I wasn't sad, in case anyone was looking. Several thoughts raced through my mind. Several more during and after my hangover the next day. I wondered If I'd ever find that special someone. I thought perhaps that I shouldn't ever attempt talking to girls again. If this is what happens when I finally get enough courage to talk to a girl, why not just give up?

* * * *

“Wow. Amber was an idiot for turning you down,” said my hot wife of 5 years, “Let's get back to having sex now, ok?”