What's for Dinner?

Two brothers have a petty argument on what to eat for dinner.

What's for Dinner?

Characters:
-Xavier: hot headed younger brother of Dooby
-Dooby: immature older brother of Xavier


Situation:
- Xavier and Dooby have a petty and trivial argument about what they want for dinner.


Setting:
- Home, on the couch


[Xavier Monologue]
Woohoo, Dad said we can have anything for dinner. . . Hmmm, what should I tell him what I want? Awww, I forgot about Dooby. No no no. Forget about that maggot. Just because he’s older he thinks he can boss me around and tell me what to do. Besides, if I tell him that we can have anything for dinner, he’ll just tell me to order Chinese food. I’m sick and tired of that goop, I’d rather eat my shoes. Ugh, Dooby is so fat. Why does he gotta eat Chinese food all the time? If I were him I’d be hitting the gym. Wait, wait, Xavier . . . calm down. Take a deep breath (Takes deep breath) I’ll just ask Dooby what he wants for dinner, maybe he won’t order Chinese food.

Xavier
Hey Dooby, guess what?

Dooby
What?

Xavier
Dad said we can have anything we want for dinner.

Dooby
Well in that case, lets order Chinese food!

Xavier
(Frowns)
Errrm, no. I don’t think so. Let’s order something else.

Dooby
(Stares at Xavier)
Whats wrong with Chinese food?

Xavier
Nothing. Its just that last time YOU got to pick our dinner, and you picked Chinese food. So its my turn now.

Dooby
(Shakes head)
In your dreams. YOU picked dinner last time dingbat.

Xavier
(Puts hands in the air)
ME? Are you joking? It was 2 weeks ago. Your the one that ordered Chinese food against my will.

Dooby
Well Dad and Mom like Chinese food.

Xavier
(Rolls eyes)
But you order it every time, you fat pig.

Dooby
Stop hating on Chinese food dipwad. At least I’m not addicted to gum.

Xavier
Shut up Dooby. Stop trying to change the subject. It’s MY turn to pick what dinner is going to be.

Dooby
(Looks at Xavier like he’s an idiot)
What are you smoking???? It’s clearly my turn to pick out dinner you fool. And it will be Chinese food. Final. You got that? I’m older than you, so you have to listen to me.

Xavier
That’s the lamest excuse ever. Just because your 2 years older than me, I have to listen to EVERYTHING you say? What a joke.

Dooby
Why are you so snappy? Relax. Jeez.

Xavier
I would be relaxed if a certain SOMEONE let me pick out the dinner because its my turn.

Dooby
Cut the charades Xavier. You and I both know that today is my pick of dinner.

Xavier
Your such a selfish, immature  brother. You KNOW its my turn. Why can’t you just let me pick?

Dooby
Because it is in fact, MY turn to pick. So shut it you despicable brat.

Xavier
(Sits up straighter and stares down Dooby)
Why don’t you shut it?! If you just agreed to let me pick dinner, this stupid argument wouldn’t have started!

Dooby
I can say the same exact thing back at you. So next time, if you want to beat me at an argument, why don’t you go back to third grade and relearn the basics?

Xavier
(Shrugs)
Honestly Dooby, even though I’m only 11, your way less mature than me. Secondly, I don’t care! Guns and rocks may kill me, but your words are useless.

Dooby
Hardy har har. Don’t try using your stupid poetry on me. Why don’t you just crawl back to the rock that you were found under?

Xavier
(Sighs)
Hurr hurr hurr. Its not like I haven’t heard that one before. Why don’t YOU go back to elementary school and educate yourself you asinine fool.

Dooby
Xavier, frankly I’m quite tired of arguing with you. So why don’t you just drop the whole subject, and just let me handle the dinner.

Xavier
(Shakes head)
I absolutely refuse. Like I said, I refuse to eat Chinese food again. Let ME order.

Dooby
What do you not understand?! (Yells)  I’M ORDERING!

Xavier
(Chuckles)
If you don’t let me order, I’m telling Mom and Dad that you got a D- on your test.

Dooby
(Snaps up and sits straight)
(Quickly) What do you want for dinner?

Xavier
Japanese food.

Author's Note

First time playwriting. Criticism is welcomed.

Reviews

[LegitFlyingTaco]

Oh my gosh, the end cracked me up. It did kinda get a bit boring in between though. But other than that, this was a very good stage play. It reminds me of the stupid arguments that my brothers and i always end up having resulting into fist fights. Thanks for the laugh and very nice write. Well done. (: