Suicide Watch (Poem)

Suicide Watch (Poem)

A Poem by ericdeben
"

Don't give up all you have when you don't know what you've got.

"
Standing at a rooftop,
Ready to jump,
My life will soon be over.
I'm giving everything up.

I look down at the pavement,
Stories beneath my feet,
There's no turning back now,
So I brace myself for eternal sleep.

I am falling ever so slowly,
When I reconsider,
Life could have been great.
Is this really worth my surrender?

I grab onto a window sill,
But my hand slips off.
Save me, God.
Bring me back to the rooftop.

I hit the ground,
Thinking "this is it, this is it"
But God has given me another chance;
Another chance to live.

So here is my lesson...
And please give this some thought:
Don't give up all you have
When you don't know what you've got.

© 2011 ericdeben


Author's Note

ericdeben
This is based off my screenplay "Suicide Watch" check it out if you liked this :)

Also, I put "God" in there even though I personally don't believe in God.

My Review

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Featured Review

I think it would have been better, my person wording, without "God" since also I do not believe in 'him'. But I do agree with the message and tho I haven't tried this method of doing it, it's well captured. You can see the acrophobia in the speaker too.
Good write

-Marie-

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is really good. Reading all I could think is that it relates to me, what I thought a couple years back. Very wonderful and put together well. :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


True stuff, and I think the inclusion of God, whether you believe or not, shows the desperation of man in situations like this.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Excellent read :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


I think it would have been better, my person wording, without "God" since also I do not believe in 'him'. But I do agree with the message and tho I haven't tried this method of doing it, it's well captured. You can see the acrophobia in the speaker too.
Good write

-Marie-

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I liked it. Well penned and executed.

Posted 13 Years Ago



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1073 Views
15 Reviews
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Added on August 22, 2011
Last Updated on August 22, 2011
Tags: suicide, death, life, watch, film, first, noir, poem, version 2

Author

ericdeben
ericdeben

Some town, MA



About
I'm 15 years old and I'm an aspiring filmmaker. When you review my writing, don't just shower me with praise; I can use all the constructive criticism I can get. I'll be taking creative writing class.. more..

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A Poem by ericdeben



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