Previously in "Anonymous": The man dreamed up a plan for his speech at the Circle..
I didn’t get much sleep last
night; two hours at most. I kept myself up, anxiously waiting for my speech at
the Circle. This day could change everything.
I would hate to mess it up.
I
crawl out of my lop-sided tent. I spent about two hours repairing it last night
from that man’s collapse.
I
check the sundial " it’s noon and it appears to be minutes past that. “S**t,” I
say, under my breath and I run down to the Circle as fast as I can; cutting
through the woods, jumping over mud puddles, and pushing people out of my way.
As I get closer and closer I start to hear a hum - not quite a hum, but a blow
- not quite a blow, but a note; a music note.
I
arrive at the Circle. Musicians had already claimed the center stone. They’re
the same musicians who bailed the day before. It’s too
late, I think, hanging my head in disappointment.
But
I promised myself I’d make my speech today, and I’m sticking to my plan. I trudge
through the crowd of people and make my way to the center stone. One of the
three musicians gazes at me and stops playing.
Nervously,
I enter a trance. Everything seems to go in slow motion and the music sounds as
though I’m under water; quiet and muffled.
My
head comes up, out of trance, and I climb on the top, pushing the musicians off the stone.
People are angry. Anger equals murder. But I remember rule number two, “No
threatening,” I say and I slash everyone that comes near me with an angry eye
until the threats stop.
People
look at me in fear; some inching away, some inching closer as they plan their
next move.
Fear, I think, it gives me confidence. It gives me hope. I feed off it. I hunger for
it. The crowd’s worried faces give me a sense of power, confidence - arrogance
even.
With
that, I begin my speech; “People of this nameless planet. We are in need of a
leader. We are in need of change,”
before the audience can ‘boo’ raise my knife, “Don’t decline my proposal just
yet, my citizens. If you decline my proposal, you are declining peace. You are
accepting fear.” The worried faces of the crowd change with confusion. “We need
rules.We need order,” I pause for
dramatic effect, “Rule number one: no killing. Rule number two: no threatening.
Rule number three: no raping. Rule number four: no trolling. The punishment for
breaking them: dying… With rules, you accept the fear of breaking them. But the
fear is only there to adjust the behavior " the morals of the people around you;
to put an end to their uncivil actions.” With nothing left to say, I look at
the audience for approval, even though I expect denial.
After
an awkward silence of what seems like an eternity, the crowd roars with
approval.
With
only a grin that’d be impossible to wipe off my face, I exit the Circle with
swagger. I’m popular, I think.
The idea is gaining complexity. It's changing, as the narrator is changing. He's changing to be able to lead these people. He's nameless as them, but he's becoming almost his own person. Like, he's gaining recognition. I'm kind of scared of him. Just a little. He believes in provoking fear to gain momentum. BYTHEWAY. What is trolling? I know what internet trolling is, like being a total bum...
I find our two societies similar at times, but different. Is that strange? Because our society and their society have their savagery, their opinions, and at times, their peace. I find it eerie. Am I looking into this too much?
The idea is gaining complexity. It's changing, as the narrator is changing. He's changing to be able to lead these people. He's nameless as them, but he's becoming almost his own person. Like, he's gaining recognition. I'm kind of scared of him. Just a little. He believes in provoking fear to gain momentum. BYTHEWAY. What is trolling? I know what internet trolling is, like being a total bum...
I find our two societies similar at times, but different. Is that strange? Because our society and their society have their savagery, their opinions, and at times, their peace. I find it eerie. Am I looking into this too much?
Amazing! One man, nameless as the others, changes the world with one speach that he thought would kill him. Brilliant, brilliant. I have come to love our main character, where he's not too full of himself, but he's most certainly not perfect either. And he doesn't ASSUME that he's going to be cheered on, but expects denial from the audience in which he's trying to help. Quite far from a mary-sue, I think so.
I love the society as well. How different it is from ours. "The Circle", a unique idea, in a land without a strong central government. This planet is in need of help, and I think our main character is just what the doctor ordered! Please let me know when you have more out of this, I'd be delighted to see where this is going!
I'm 15 years old and I'm an aspiring filmmaker. When you review my writing, don't just shower me with praise; I can use all the constructive criticism I can get.
I'll be taking creative writing class.. more..