Exsanguinate

The experience of dealing with someone personally with a debilitating mental illness.

Constantly on

the p r e c i p i c e

of madness

she haunts 

my pre-sense

intruding on

seemingly private thoughts...

incapably of truly

fee-

ling l-

oved, she steals

affection from

whomever she can s-i-n-k

her fangs into.

synthetic wounds

appear intangibly, then

ERUPT in

c h a o t i c

deRANGED violence!!

using unsheathed VOCAL

weapons,

CUTting

deep into

family

fri-

ends

innocent 

bystanders

and any 

in her path...

she lies-manipulates-steals-

strangles-suffocates-devours

until there is

nothing

left.

 

and yet

she unknowingly

inflicts the same harm

on herself.

 

I have tried

to stop the bleeding,

but I can't, 

so I will let 

her

 

exsanguinate....

Reviews

[BlackRose]

Ooh, LOOOVED it. Phenomenal piece and how it all ties together wonderfully. The use of font and ephasis put on words in such a way brings it more to life or POP. It's heart wrenching, tells it like it is, and just very well descriptive. Fantastic job my friend. :o)

[Eric Pudalov]

Thank you very much Rose!! This was difficult (but cathartic) to write, I must admit. I find that writing poetry is very therapeutic, which is why I didn't just "grow out of it" after my teenage years. It's part of the reason I didn't get into drugs, etc. Thank you again.

[BlackRose]

Same here in a sense. Some are difficult fir me to write too, but googling has helped me alot in that sense I can look up something or a word if not quite sure or for another word for a word in my head ( more so not to sound cliche or use that word again too many times, or to really bring out what I say or conveying in my pieces). I just got better being on here and learning from others and learning while reading as opposed to then when I was writing in my teen years. I didn't write much for awhile after that. And some other main thing eventually came into play that I wish never did. Poetry is the same in some ways as being therapeutic to me too. It takes me to places I never thought and to those place I DON"T want to or DO want or would LOVE to go back to. I was just a good girl as it is for the most part, so drugs and all that didn't even enter my mind, but the occasional smoke in high school. I just LOVE to write and will continue to do so for as long as I can. Oh, you are so very welcome as always my friend. :o)

[Ghost of Jupiter]

wow, this was a jaw dropper... i loved the title so i just had to peek inside and see what this was all about, and i wasn't disappointed. The way you used the font and line breaks created this manic atmosphere, almost a rushing sensation while reading. The first stanza btw...fantastic! That hooked me, very well done!

[Eric Pudalov]

Thank you, thank you K!! I appreciate it so much. And it's interesting that you used the word "manic," as that's very similar to the mental illness the person in question has. Glad you enjoyed it.

[Ghost of Jupiter]

ah i see... i got that vibe from the poem...you conveyed that mental state well, kinda hidden in the words, just below the surface, as it always is until it bubbles up.

[Bright Ocean Star]

Bravo, Eric. You wrote a masterpiece. You made excellent use of font type to magnify and emphasize certian words...almost producing 3D poetry! Very original and imaginative. Even exsanguinate. I don't think its even a real word...but I know what sanguineous is, so this is extraordinary. Awesome stroke of genius. I'm saving this into my favorites and I 'm giving you 100/100. Great writing. I like you, my friend.

[Eric Pudalov]

Thank you Anne!!! Holy crap. I'm so glad I could have that effect. Actually, "exsanguinate" is a real word; it means to bleed out. (I guess I've watched a lot of crime shows.) And for you to say this is a masterpiece is a HUGE compliment; I really don't think I've been told that before. Looks like I've got a new fan!!!

[Eric Pudalov]

I do think I'd like to work on it just a bit more to make it more consistent...like do the font manipulation throughout. What do you think of that idea? Don't want to overdo it, just tweak it a little.

[Lyn Anderson]

This is by far my favourite of what you have written. It is insightful, and bitter, and truthful, and heart wrenching all at once.

[Eric Pudalov]

WOW...thanks KL!! Well, it is certainly true-to-life. Perhaps my real emotions coming out is what added to the quality; what do you think?

[Lyn Anderson]

Yes, probably. I find often that the works that incite the most passionate response came from an emotional place.

[s y e]

This is really good, Eric - I loved how certain words were written in a different font, it made a big difference to the poem and really added alot more to it. I really like your style of writing, you write so much with so much description and make it descriptive.

A really well done, my dear friend!

[Eric Pudalov]

Thank you so much Noodle! I wasn't sure about the font thing...didn't want it to be gimmicky. And if you're curious, this is most *definitely* about a real person. ;-)

[s y e]

I love the font thingy here. Ooooooo, now I want to know who? ;-)

[Eric Pudalov]

Oh, I noticed one "typo" - I meant to write "incapable" instead of "incapably." But it might be a happy accident, because it could work either way. What do you think, my friend Noodle?

[s y e]

I never even noticed that, ahaha, and I've read it quite a few times. I think incapable sounds better, personally. :-)