Convulse

A recreation of having a seizure (based on personal experience).

Taking a pleasant walk,

On an "ordinary" summer day,

I am unprepared

for

paralysis

an invisible agony

sends voltage throughout

me, as I lose control

handsarmslegsfeetchestneckhead

in a singular swift second

drifting

infinitely

down

into all-encompassing darkness,

every part of me

reaching no

where...

con

vulsing un

control

ably like in

ner earth

quakes it must 

be death, which

I would tell

someone if I could

speak...

Author's Note

This is a very hard thing to describe - does it seem to get the feeling across?

Reviews

[Muse]

The feeling I got....a sudden case of turrets?

"handsarmslegsfeetchestneckhead"

What a fabulous line. I jerked reading it, both physically and mentally, so that's a good thing right? I adore poetry that embraces word play. Making your words and thoughts into art....like painting, the options are endless.

[s y e]

Oh my Lord, Eric, I was reading some other reviews and I saw that this is real and actually happened to you. Are you okay now? I hope you are, you are still here with us and more hyper than ever, ahaha. This started as something really nice and happy, a little walk and then as I read it completely changed. The way you wrote it made such a huge impact to the poem and really packs a punch. You have written it in such a way that I feel like I was there...

Really Eric, a huge well done, this must have been quite hard to write.

[Eric Pudalov]

Thank you, thank you so much for your awesome review, noodle!! Yes, I am OK now, for the most part. I still have some memory loss and emotional control issues, but I've recovered a lot. And in a way, yes, it was hard to write, but it's been therapeutic for me to write about such experiences, because they've had such a huge impact on my life (just as you've done with some of your poetry). I wrote another one called "Meningioma" that was related to this, in fact. I don't remember if you'd read that yet, but thanks again!!

[s y e]

I will head over and read it now. Yes, I think it is therapeutic to write about experiences that have changed us and the life we lead. You are always very welcome, dudeee!

[Lyn Anderson]

Having never had this experience, I cannot judge for sure, but it certainly seems real.

[Eric Pudalov]

Yes KL, this was 100% real. It was caused by the brain tumor I had. It had grown so large that it was causing seizures. Still powerful memories for me.

[Blue]

I always admire your creativity when it comes to the structure of your poems, Eric! I wish I were that daring! ;) I love how you started this poem with a positive scene that unexpectedly introduced a tragic event. Also, I commend you for successfully and excellently ending it. It's not the usual dramatic way but it has a grave impact and I can say there's no better way to end it than what you just did. Nicely penned, man! Though your style intimidates me. Our writing style is somewhat different and it'll be a challenge for both of us to harmonize our words. I'm excited about our collaboration, though. I'll message you when I'm able. :)

You've had personal experiences with seizures??? Why is that? Is it still troubling you these days?

[Eric Pudalov]

Thank you for your great review, Blue!! And yes, I've had personal experience with seizures. Technically, I've only had one, in fact, but had the doctors delayed any longer, I would've had more. I had a brain tumor when I was little, and at age 14, it got to be so big that it started to cause seizures.

Because I only had one, it seemed all the more scary, in fact. It still feels like one of the most surreal and frightening things that's ever happened to me. Oh, but don't let my style intimidate you!

I can definitely adapt to the style of another writer for a collaboration. It really depends upon what I'm writing about - for something like this, I really wanted to depict the tension and insanity of the situation. That's why I wrote in such a jarring style.

I think that's one of the fun parts of collaborating; seeing the two different styles side-by-side.

[BlackRose]

I know some who had them. Was horrible for him too. had surgery to correct it and feels better from it. A great piece you penned err typed here, even though I'm sure never an thing to deal with. :o/

[Eric Pudalov]

Thank you BlackRose!! Fortunately, I'm not having them now, which is quite a relief!

[BlackRose]

That's sooo great! I am so happy for you. :o)

[BlackRose]

And your very welcome.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

It's a profound expression, Eric...

The feeling of helplessness toward the end, truly grabbed me.
I cannot fathom such inner turmoil. Such pain...

A poignant write, my friend.~xoxo~

[Eric Pudalov]

Thank you so much Robbie!! This event had a profound effect on my life...but on the bright side, it's helped add to my poetry so much! (I just left you a review, by the way.) :-)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Thank you for sharing your story... it's an obstacle that can overtake you, but you didn't let it get the best of you.. much admired....
Thank you for your review. :)