Explosions in My Head

Suicide punishable by death
Are you afraid to lean against the wind
Add the ER to cind and strap me to a gurney cause I'm burnin
Are you learnin
Cause I’m not, still got the same lines, and the same shrines
My insides are asking if I gave you all that I got
Dressed to the nines, darling you’re so divine got you screamin
“I can’t go that fast” and my eyes are closed
Overdosed so froze I'm exposed
Loaded questions might as well be guns cocked and loaded
My heart is a piñata that exploded
So I play for keeps because I might not make it back
You can’t go around kissing different faces
Take a seat in the basement of my heart- hard drive
No shape up for the type of endurance that is needed for replacement
Some things will never change, no one wants to be told their range
So I'm gonna make it easy for you so you wont have to choose
We’re all addicts chained to that red light district, drained at every instant because it’s so ingrained
The only difference is some are handpicked, bent to fit that type of lifestyle
“I’ll make your time worth-while”; no food for love got me puking up stomach bile
I haven’t eaten in days, just to try and convince the human race that this is not just a phase
I’ve been exonerated to reform, and I was born this way but I know that you weren't 
With the storm eyeing me and tying me
Down
Turn around a spiral cloud while the addicts sing aloud
I pledge allegiance to the progressive tense: reliance has no sense
I need someone to start buying time away from the other me
You’re either dead or alive, agree to disagree
When you lose someone, the hope is gone, death is final
Without the Semi, but it’s automatic
The only fact is I wont settle for being dust in box, or grounded in roots
There shouldn’t even be a dispute about never not wanting to be able to do anything again
So cut the dramatics, before it becomes post-traumatic close your eyes and count to ten
How do I know if I like being full, if I don’t know what full feels like
Spike the punch and see how many kids cave into their first crave
Being a doctor won’t prevent disease and no good comes from relying on religious knees
You let me die, dead for 7 minutes, lying there cold, zoomed along
But I came back and then I let you die too, yet you were blue for too long
And now I won’t be able to mock the sun, I wish I would have called 911
Which one of us was outdone
How come it wasn’t you who’s actions could have been undone
But you saved my life
I wish I could have known, your temple blown to smitherines and carried the routine above our heads
It was you who called 911, but you weren't crying, your body was too busy dying
I live but I am dead
These are the explosions inside my head