Jumble But Don't Stumble With the Revolver, You See Love

It's frustrating when the trust keeps inflating at a rate too quick for your eyes so they begin to hate
Because they too are sick of being what they are constantly seeing
Robotically inside you decide all this you're taking in needs to trickle into your brain
So you can give yourself time to maintain some sort of balance
The initial focus is so hard to envision left alone, no lines thrown
Muscle memory mimics paralyzed partial prayer
And in this instant we realize we should have prepared for the constant wear and tear
The clock is wishing to postpone the genie cause instead were caught steady dreaming
About time to make what's partial full and that's the main reason
This glock is set on lock because the guide hand is too busy reminscing about the could-have shot
When you're all feeled out there is no sense talking about
How good it must feel to have it all figured out
20 years now numb to the world, this earth sphere
speaks muffled through sea shell sounds, saline ocean in my inner ear
Dust me off and toss me back on the shelf
I can't make this anymore clear, selecting sums; the tendancy to forget about myself
I broke 50 today, shattered the progress, I near smashed all my pieces away
No excuse except the abuse about not being so sure about this thing that keeps me going
Theres really nothing to bank on, I've just been eternally withdrawn
Because everyone talks about goodbye before anything really begins
And now that I think about it, habitually the moon keeps the salt waving as the world tilts and spins
You would think my dreams are victim to a major crime scene
Cause when I close my eyes nothing happens
And yeah I know I have to give myself time to mend
I'm stuck bent with nothing to lean on but bitter ends, the glue refuses to dry
And I dont wanna become anything less than full, half like the rest of my ties
So I'll text the next best thing until this giant bitter pill starts to dissolve
Every inch involved, feeling the tears build up behind my salty lids
Forbids my eyes from opening because it's too late for everything to all roll down
And I dont wanna break down
But this gravity is killing me and if it's something that is tried and true
It's finishing what I've started that I just dont know how to do
It's not enough to want the truth, I need to know the truth
So cook me up a remedy because I am a disaster that has become a mosaic emergency
The sufficient amount of dopamine used to turn me into a restless machine
And I can play pretend when it's so out of control
But it scares me that I've never felt such control when I'm stuck feeling that I just cant control
Night attack, dulling the sun to a blueish-black, It's not safe to say you want anything back
So I guess this is settled, but when will I settle
It's not lying if you know im tired of trying
And you dont know what you had until you catch yourself thinking about it crazy like mad
And it happened so fast, wisked whip lash that made the maroon mistakes crash
Into my heart breaking these marks like burned ash all up on the skin of my neck
Proof that I dont wear my seatbelt because I like to be thrown clear from the wreck