My Golden Shield

These things that I dont want to talk about
It's the end that I can live without or these flaws that make a mess about
These obsessive faults that keep acting out
There is truth about control, we have none without a doubt

And I forget alot of s**t but I never forget about the downing
She couldn't watch me long enough to keep me from drowning
Knees to chest, windowsill propped, I'm only 4 foot tall
Small
Palms left on the glass as I'm staring back, and that girl's wet
It's not constant conversation, I've been patient but too young
And now since I've become a patient these words have met my tongue
She's pacing, behind her facing
Anxiety that consists of castle walls of off wagon sobriety
Checkerboards across skin, connected with infatuations that can't last but then
My knees fall to the sound of silence
No defense, skylight will sing you to sleep tonight
Wrapped up in blankets and sheets my limbs scream
So indescreet these dreams of wobbling off balance beams
Do I even need
An explanation for the lack of dedication that has me itching
For every medication tied to some sort of temptation
No
Because your lies sensationalize the spot in your eyes
So that while you're buying time I start to believe that these ties are strong
Wrong
Because love has to teach you, clean you, and renew like a salon brand shampoo only these dead ends keep appearing
And its not your car my ears keep hearing
Driving past, because certain things aren't meant to last
So why am I still waiting, debating this dead subject
This heart has been wrecked
Since the day I couldnt breathe because you chose to never let late leave
Your voice is always rampant in my mind
It makes me scared to wonder what you've been doing with all this idle time

These things that I cant stand to think about
It's the end that I can live without
Obsessive faults keep acting out, you're nowhere to be found
Cold cheek check muddy ground, my arms spread across this mound

We'll fall together again just like you held me way back when
And I'll look at you like you looked at me with the brightest eyes
That never believed in a goodbye oh what a surprise just like the moon
Two black balloons, worlds apart, ripped at the seams
It is just as it seems
My hands will miss their matching set
Swaying in the wind, these lines will never forget, oh their falling through
But I refuse to believe I knew
They already know I'll be the first to fall
And the last to keep dry
Bodyscape powder technique
A sudden numb static antique
Cracked
She can't help but flinch
Explosions make her stomach weak
And I can't bare to see every color flush from your face
Begging my memory to replace, or even have that feeling permanently erased
But those lines drawn in pen, time can't retrace

And I cant fathom what the sky will look like but it will smell of coal
Your soul
Will burn inside me as your falling away
There will be nothing to say
Spending forever searching for the words, living through charades
Over again, burnt lime
Time coincides with the tide