Flutters of the Heart

A Story by epac

A very short story about a young scumbag who is at a bar to find the next one night stand but then sees the love of his life and gets a wild surprise.

“Cause it’s like I’m looking in a mirror,” I say so softly I’m not sure anyone can hear me, especially in this crowded bar. “Come on man,” my friend scoffs and attempts to pull me away, but I don’t let him. I stay right where I am, even if I’m blocking the walk way. My eyes are glued to the girl who is sitting at the bar. This girl is, by far, the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my life.

We came to this bar to have a stereotypical Saturday night, drinking, partying, maybe a fight or two and in the end find some sweet little thing to take home. Only…all of that seems so silly and stupid now. It seems childish and downright stupid. Never before have I changed my mind on what I’ve done for all these years in one glance.

My gosh she is beautiful. I don’t mean she’s sexy or anything like that, she’s just beautiful. Her brown hair lays springy but perfect on her shoulders while her brownish skin simply glows even in the low lighting of this bar. And her eyes. Her eyes sparkle unlike anything I’ve ever seen. No one else in here has those type of bright eyes. They light up everything she looks at.

“She’s alright,” my friend says, now looking at her. “Seen better,” he comments and attempts to pull me away. “Trash alert, corner stall,” he says excitedly, attempting to pull me away with force towards a girl that looks as if she will put out easy. “Let go,” I tell him, still looking at the girl at the bar. “Come on man, there’s three of them, dressed like they want it!” He says, tugging harder.

Angry, I spin around and break his hold on my arm. “I said let go!” I growl. I stand over 3 inches taller than him and use it to intimidate him. Glowering down, I want him to see my eyes and see how serious I am. This move makes him back up some as he looks at me in a bit of shock.

“You go. Go play with those scanks,” I tell him angrily. “I done with that,” I decree. “Done with all of this,” I say, motioning around to the entire scene. The words pour out of me, but I have no idea where from. “I’m done with tricking girls just to sleep with them, of pretending to be something I not just to get laid. I’m tired of it. It’s stupid. It’s wrong. And it’s pathetic!” I say, feeling as if I’ve been secretly thinking this for a while.

“W-w-w-well, f-f-fine,” my friend says, taken aback. “Fine!” He says, catching himself. He turns on his heel and marches off, looking very sulky. I would feel sorry for him, but I just can’t. He knows just like I do how this life we lead is so damn pathetic. Living for the weekend just so we can go out and somehow find someone to bring back to the apartment.

For the first time in my life, I think of how I really want my life to be. I see it in my mind and in my heart as clear as a picture. I see myself living with the girl at the bar, going to work just to come back to her. Spending my evenings with her, having to decide who cooks dinner and who does the dishes. Taking care of her when she is sick. And then the loving kids we would have.

I see this fantasy and it’s the first time in a long time I’ve had one that didn’t center on sex. I mean, I would love that with her, but it’s only a bonus. It’s not the main attraction by any means. Can’t believe I’m even saying that but it’s true. I just, I don’t know, I feel a connection with her, even though I’ve never even talked to her.

I turn back to look at her, and yes, she’s still there, at the bar, by herself. She has a drink in front of her and is reading an e-book of some sort. She’s reading…in a bar. Surely she is waiting for someone. Could she be waiting for me? Is there magic like that in the world? Before I saw her I would have died laughing at such a stupid concept. But now? I believe, full heartedly that it exists. Magic, like love at first sight exists. I know that now.

My feet begin carrying me to her and I try to think what I’m going to say. Normally I have a million different pickup lines ready, but at the moment, everything I think up seems stupid. I have to laugh a bit as I figure that I’ve spent so long being something I’m not, I’ve forgotten how to be who I really am. How sad that is, but how great it is that I’ve figured it out, finally. Now I can actually be me, and not what I think I am.

With no clue what I’m going to say to her, I smile. I’m happy. Stupid as that is, I’m happier now than I’ve been in a very long time. Haven’t been this happy since I was a kid. With happiness filling me, I make my way towards her. The feeling makes me remember being a kid and waking up on Christmas day and seeing all those presents given by Santa.

She is just so beautiful. I have to stop and admire this again as it overwhelms me. Even the way she sits on that ugly barstool is beautiful, as she is so proper and upright. It’s easy to see she has respect for herself and would never be caught dead wearing the scraps of cloth that those w****s in the corner booth wear. How I’ve longed for someone like that. Someone that can’t be tricked or bullied into wearing something degrading. How I’ve longed for someone with a backbone.

It occurs to me that I no longer even want to drink. Every weekend I make sure I get piss drunk, but I don’t want that any more. It seems cheap and degrading to do, like I’m trying to hide what I am from everyone, even myself. I don’t want to do that again. But I can see myself with her, having a few glasses of wine as we enjoy each other company during date night. I could see that very well.

Will she like me? Fear of this makes me stop walking. Fear slides into me but I quickly force it out. The feeling of that magical love is too strong to let something like fear grab hold. I can’t think like that. I can’t think that she will not like me. Courage, which is something I’ve never had much of, is what I have to have right now. Courage to talk to her and courage to always do right by her. I can’t ever let her slip away because I didn’t stand up for her or myself.

I walk faster now as I am more determined. This is my life. For the first time I understand what that means. I’m been so stupid for far too long. Always buying the clothes that commercials say will impress others. Always getting the new Iphone just to show off. I’ve been damn near a slave to society instead of being who I really am. I’m scared of who I am, as I don’t really know who that is, but I like the feeling. I feel free, open and have nothing but possibilities.

My breath becomes rapid as I get closer. The closer I get, the more beautiful she seems to become. I swear, she downright glows she so beautiful. Even the classy red dress she wears looks ultraviolet the way it sits on her. And from this distance, I can smell the flowery scent of her hair. It’s so sweet that it makes me think of the first time smelling a rose as a kid.

As I walk, my hand reaches out to tap her on the shoulder, but it shakes so badly. Then she turns her head ever so gracefully. She turns and looks directly at me. The brown of her eyes looks directly into mine and my breath is taken away. Every single thought is removed from my head as I stare into those heaven-like brown eyes forever. My heart beats as fast as it can as I look at her, wishing I could leap into those eyes.

“You alright there?” She says with a free smile. “What? Oh! Yeah. Y-y-yeah!” I say, snapping to my senses. To this she laughs and it sounds as free and beautiful as a baby’s laugh. When she does it, her face becomes even more beautiful, which I didn’t think humanly possible. “M-mind if I sit?” I ask, motioning to the empty seat next to her. “Sure,” she says and my heart beats even faster when I hear the excitement in her voice. She wants me to sit next to her. Oh gosh, what if she feels the same way I do???!!!

I pull the seat out and then sit down. When I turn to talk to her, I find she isn’t there. I discover I’m not in a bar any longer either. Looking around, I find myself in a rocky, barren place with nothing but landscape. Looking down, I see I am sitting in a barstool, but my arms are missing. Only my legs protrude from me, gripped to the sides of the chair.

Memories, like a rapid waterfall pour into my head. I’m dead. Dead. I died when that girl I tried to rape stabbed me with the knife I was holding against her throat. Pain, emotional pain that I’ve never felt before hits me harder than anything I’ve ever felt. The magic, the love, the beauty, it wasn’t real. The feeling of love, of life, of freedom, of knowing I could have been happy, it was all fake. It was nothing. It was torture.

I look about to find I’m alone in this place with the one thing I wish I no longer had…my memories.