Larger than life

The next morning I go through his drawers finally pulling out a striped linen shirt over my head.  "Good morning" says my companion, already dressed, returning from the hall with two fragrant cups of chai.  We'd decided it was inadvisable for me to continue to room with the jackal.  "Any new developments?" I ask.  "Well certainly nothing the crew felt like explaining to a random american here on business." he says.  I stare up at the peeling paint on the ceiling counting the cracks. "Were you planning on getting dressed today?" he asks.  "I am dressed.  See I'm wearing a shirt." I say getting up and performing a spin.  "Ha maybe if you were 5'7'' with a very athletic build.  Looks more like a dress on you."  Suddenly it hits me. I pull on yesterday's skirt not bothering to take off his shirt.  Rushing out of the door to the victim's room as I exclaim "That's it! The bag they found; it isn't his luggage!". The porter replies "This is all we could find.  THis has to be it." "But it can't be!" I explain pulling a huge shirt out of the bag.  Our victim was way too short for any of these clothes to belong to him.  Stunned silence.  The crew milling about is still confused "But if this isn't the victim's luggage where is it?  If you were trying to hide a bag where would you put it?  We can't search the entire train! It would be like searching for a needle in a haystack."  Then I explain "Our thief, our murderer, was clever he would never hide it anywhere it could be traced to him so it's not in the cabins.  It can't be in the main body of the train, stuffed under a sink for instance, because if we figured out this isn't his luggage we could find it and identify quickly.  Worst still, we could complete a stake out.  Given the evident cleverness of the thief there is only one place it could be.  By the time we find it your going to wish we were looking for a needle in a haystack.  Actually we're looking for a piece of hay in a haystack.  It has to be hidden in the lost baggage section.     

Author's Note

Please forgive the fragments and poorly punctuated dialogue.