Chapter 1 - Falling

I woke up to the same white ceiling that I had woken up to for the past 18 years. I pushed the blonde mess out of my boring brown eyes and sat up. My clock read 8:31am, 2 hours and 1 minute more sleep than usual. I looked around at my uncluttered room. My clothes never littered the floor, posters never decorated the walls, pictures of friends never clung to a corkboard, and cute dresses never dangled from hangers. I opened the only container that contained things I cared about. It was tucked far under my bed, a scary place where no one has gone before. Well, besides me. I pushed my art portfolios, loose papers, and ballet gear aside and pulled out my graduation cap and gown. Today was the day. Today was the day for new opportunities and a chance. A chance for happiness. I showered and pulled on a pair of jeans and some t-shirt with a witty catchphrase strewn across the front.

Breakfast was steaming and orange juice was creating condensation on a glass. I heard my mother hum some poorly written pop song from the radio and sighed to myself. She was cleaning the windows that were already clean. She plopped the paper rag she was using into the trashcan and looked at me for the first time that day. She looked confused.

“Is that what you’re wearing to your graduation ceremony, or have you forgotten?” She said slowly with a hint of sarcasm.

“Forgotten the ceremony or your standards of dress and grooming?” She inhaled her anger and exhaled the smoke of an extinguished fire.

“It’s only 9, we might have time to go shopping. Maybe we can get you a dress and get your hair done. When was the last time you got it cut? Straightening it would probably do good. It looks like the life has been drained from it.” I rested my chin in my hand and considered eating breakfast. Mother seemed discontent. “You know, all the other girls are going to look better than you if you don’t dress up. And at the rate you’re going in your academics they’ll probably end up smarter than you too, even the ditsy ones.”

I thought about some of the ‘ditsy’ girls in my classes and the diverse personalities they all had. My mind went back to all the hours I spent studying to get the grades I have. Usually her comments went ignored, but graduation day was a bad day for insults. “My GPA is 3.6. Just because I’m not at the top of the class doesn’t mean I’m an idiot, mother. I already got accepted into a university. I am content with what I have. Why can’t you be for once?” I ended my retort with an attempt to act casual. I took a bite of my pancake and scooped up some of my eggs. I must have looked ridiculous trying to eat casually with a bundle of resentment boiling up to the surface.

“Chester had faith that you would become a better person than most. I imagine he would be disappointed.” I dropped my fork. Her words stung like hand sanitizer in a fresh paper cut.

“Chester,” I said his name bitterly towards her, “would be proud that I’ve done my best given the circumstances. No one is better than anyone else and he would agree.” My fingernails dug into my palm as I clenched my fists. She stood across from me staring for what seemed like hours.

“I’m thinking spaghetti straps with mid-thigh length. You’re probably a soft summer so maybe light pink.” Mother put her fingers to her chin and examined me for a few moments. She got out her notepad and started taking notes. I put my face in my hands to keep from crying.

I decided on the dress that was most comfortable, which wasn’t comfortable at all. It took

a lot of persuading but I finally convinced my mother to let me do my hair myself. The excitement I had that morning lessened with every nasty comment she made about how I looked, how I carried myself wrong, or how I should cake make up on my face to cover up my freckles. I thought it would be over once the ceremony started, but oh how I was wrong.

My friends waited for me at the entrance, excitement bursting at the seams. The tassels on their graduation caps swayed like a pendulum. I thought about Alice and how she just needed to get away from everything. Maybe I should change my name to Alice.

We went to our seats in the auditorium and got ourselves situated for the ceremony. The “above and beyond” students went before us for special awards and speeches. None of the speeches were anything all that special, just some student lying about how great their high school experience was and how much they supposedly appreciate everything. My friend Aruna squeezed my hand as her name was being called. I watched her trying to contain her composure through all the excitement as she shook the Chancellor’s hand. As she walked away she looked over at her mom and waved her diploma with enthusiasm. Her mom gave her a supportive thumbs up. Several other students went before me and with each handshake my nervousness increased.

“Sora Skyes.” was announced over the speaker. Each syllable felt surreal. I got up from my seat and adjusted my cap so it wouldn’t fall off. Every step I took rung in my ears and I could feel my heartbeat in every part of my body. The stairs to the stage came closer than I expected and my foot hit the side of the step almost making me stumble. My cheeks felt hot and I wondered if it was noticeable. I saw the Chancellor’s mouth moving but I wasn’t listening. The diploma was handed over to me. It felt like it belonged in my hand. I shook the Chancellor’s hand unsure if my handshake was too loose or too tight. I walked away slowly and looked over at my mom as Aruna had. She smiled up at me and I questioned if it was genuine. I smiled back. I threw my graduation cap like everyone else and imagined that I was really throwing away the chains that kept me in the dull town that I had lived in far too long.

My friends and I piled into someone’s minivan and we made our way to a fancy italian restaurant where we made empty promises to stay friends through college. On the way home we passed the cookie-cutter houses on my street. The car ride was silent but nonetheless I revealed my big, red, button.

“I wish Wayden would’ve come,” I mumbled mostly to myself. There was no response so I assumed my mother hadn’t heard me.  We pulled into the driveway but she didn’t turn off the engine.

“I don’t think he would have come even if he was still here.” Here she goes with her farfetched lies. I rolled my eyes and tried to open the car door. She locked it. “Chester left because of you, Sarah,” I opened my mouth to argue but she cut me off, “He told me. He didn’t like you. He didn’t want you. ”

“Why are you always lying to me? Let me out.”

“I’m not lying!” She screamed at me and suddenly I felt like a child again. “He even left a note, Sarah.” Her voice dropped to a consoling whisper, I heard the consolement more than I felt it.

“That’s not true,” I whispered partly to her, “I was his best friend.” The words came out like a sob and I felt tears burn as they dripped down my cheeks. I remembered Wayden telling me I was just like mother, how he left without me.

“No, Sarah. He was your best friend.” I heard the last words she said behind my sobs. The worst part was, I couldn’t find a reason not to believe her. What she was saying was even something I had considered before. I felt myself fade away to another blank and I didn’t try stopping it. I leaned my forehead to my knees and let myself go.

I was falling. I was falling at alarming speeds. I opened my eyes and saw the clouds trying to catch me. While attempting to turn around, towards the ground, I discovered it was much closer than I had assumed. I hit the ground hard, yet it felt soft and inviting.

I gasped for sanity, unsure of why I was still alive. Was I alive? I looked around to see many friendly faces around me. Their arms were linked together to provide a trampoline of sorts to catch me from my fall. They were asking me questions, I’m sure. But their voices just sounded like jumbled syllables.

“I’m alright, really,” I said in hope of calming them down.

“What in the world were you doing so high up, your majesty?” Asked one elderly man. I stared at him for a while unsure of what to say.

“Oh shush, Rubert. Let her collect herself. Queen Sora, would you like to be escorted back to the castle?” I’m guessing this elderly woman was the elderly man’s wife. Her and a younger girl walked me back home while the others went back to garden in the tulip field. The women chatted and talked on the way there, some questions were asked to me but none of which I responded. I let out a sigh of relief as the castle came into sight.

“Thank you both so much,” I said to both of them as I took their hands and gave them the best smile I could muster up.

“It was no problem at all, your majesty,” they gleamed back to me and made their way back home.

I pushed open the oversized, yet surprisingly light, doors that opened to my home. The smell of freshly ground cinnamon wafted around me. Such an enchanting smell. I decided to find the source and found myself in the kitchen.

“Hello, Dastri! That smells heavenly. What is it?” Dastri turned to face me. I saw that she was covered head to toe in a layer of floury snow and dashes of cinnamon. I let out a small laugh and she joined.

“You know, I’m not entirely sure. Just experimenting, really,” she dipped her finger in the mixing bowl and took out a giant heap of dough to taste. “Tastes delicious, though. So what are you doing around these parts? I thought you weren’t coming back for a while.” My purpose of being there suddenly crashed over me like a tsunami.

“Oh! I have to see Ivo! Do you know where he is?” Dastri’s eyes widened at my sudden urgency.

“Uh, I think I heard he was helping repaint the parlor or something.”

I rushed out of the kitchen and almost tripped up the stairs to the parlor. “Ivo! Where are you?” I called out as I came close to the doors.

“Over here,” Ivo peeked his head out from behind a couch and waved to me. The smell of fresh paint filled the air. The walls were transforming into the color of the deep sea with rays of sunshine and happiness leaking through the surface. The ceilings were high and represented a beautiful sunset.

“I don’t know what happened. I wasn’t supposed to come back until tomorrow. I had everything so under control,”  I said as I paced around the room. “I need to go back now.”

“Alright, let me get everything set up,” Ivo set down his paint brush and called his friend over to clean up.

He led me farther upstairs to my favorite library where he would prepare my tea. I set myself down on the daybed next to the wall of windows. I looked out to the large fields of grass and watched the wind blow past some children playing. I thought about all the different smells that had documented themselves into my memory. Fresh paint, cinnamon, freshly bloomed tulips.

“The tea is just about done, your majesty.” Just as Ivo informed me, peppermint and cinnamon swirled and filled the air around.

“Hmm, let me guess. Peppermint and cinnamon?” I filled my lungs with as much of this new flavor as I could.

“Something of the sorts. It should be just right, don’t you think?” Ivo placed the delicate cup in my hands and awaited my response. I breathed in the steam,

“Should be just the charm.” I grasped the small cup tightly. It was the perfect temperature between scorching hot and lukewarm. I took a small sip and felt the warmth all the way down to my stomach. “Perfect. I can already feel it working.”

Ivo left and the liquid eventually lulled me into a sleep, one of which didn’t quite feel deep enough. In my dream I imagined myself waking up to a frosty, cold, uncomfortable car, with my mother waiting impatiently beside me. Besides some surreal elements, I expected it to be true, as it had been the past times. My dull dream faded to a sharpening reality. Is this the right reality? I felt pleasantly warm and comfortable. The lines on what I assumed to be the ceiling started to sharpen. There were odd shapes taking up the entire space and a reflection of myself. It was a ceiling of mirrors. I sat up and looked around at the various books surrounding me. I was still in the library.  I tightened my hands and found them holding a cup. It should have worked. I put my hands to my forehead and felt my heart pick up pace. A million reasons as to why it wouldn’t work raced through my thoughts. The room spun around me. Books toppled off of tables. A tea pot flung across the room spilling hot tea and shards of porcelain. I paced around the room without any sort of balance. The daybeds and big comfy chairs were pushed to the sides of the room by the gravitron the room had just became. The room suddenly darkened and I looked out the wall of windows to find a dark grey sky that loomed over the green fields like doubt. My mind spun faster than the room around me trying to find the reason reality hadn’t returned to me. I forced calmness onto myself and the room slowed down just barely. I caught the door and the world stopped spinning completely.

With each worried step I took through the castle the world seemed darker. It was eerily empty, not a person in sight. “Ivo! Dastri? Anyone?” I called out down the normally busy hallways. The only response I heard was my voice echoing off the murals on the tall walls. I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen. An abandoned mess was left scattered throughout the room. Bags of flour were spilling out on the floor, the swirling fire in the oven was still burning, and half kneaded dough occupied most of the counter space. “Dastri!” Now more worried than ever I ran to the front doors. I pushed on the front doors to no avail. My heart raced and my head throbbed with confused thoughts and drastic conclusions. I pushed and pulled as hard as I thought possible but with every ounce of effort they became heavier. I screamed at the door and hit my fists against it again and again and again. My efforts were shot down. I tried to breath again and took the biggest breath I could muster up. I let it out slowly. These doors are as light as a feather. Light as a feather. Light as a feather. I pictured a feather drifting through the air, hardly affected by gravity. I rested my palms flat against the door and the pressure from my fingertips swung them wide open. My eyes immediately drifted upward to the unnaturally gloomy blue sky. The surrounding flowers hunched over in depression. I pushed the saddening sights out of my vision and ran to the nearest village.

I approached the low, friendly fence and heard a barrage of voices at the sight of me. They sounded cheerful but drastically worried all at the same time. “There’s Queen Sora!” Several people greeted me and asked varying phrases of the same question.

“What’s happened?” I asked when I finally found Ivo.

“Sora! What are you still doing here?” The words bursted out of Ivo’s mouth with anxiety.

“It didn’t work. I fell asleep expecting to wake up in Montana but instead woke up to the chaos here. What’s going on?”

“How long ago was this?”

“I’ve no idea. Ivo. What is going on?”

Ivo ran his hand through his hair and he mulled over various ideas. “It started a little while after I left you in the library. Everything just-,” Ivo gestured to sky and gloominess. “Fears started appearing everywhere, attacking anything in sight. They’ve already taken over three villages. Everyone is heading west. We need to try again, Sora. You have to calm down.”

“I feel perfectly calm,” I said with a hint of bitterness, Ivo gave me a raised eyebrow. “Where’s Dastri? I’ll try again when we find her.”

“I guess. I think she headed home to her family.”

Ivo and I ran across the crowded village to the Minthheart’s house. The house was small, a perfectly cozy kind of small. The roof was a single leaf that covered the top and the walls were made of intricately weaved grass that resembled a nearby skyline. I knocked on the carved wooden doors that continued the skyline pattern. A young girl with sunset pink eyes full of wonder and flecks of stars opened the door. She took in a wide breath that was almost a gasp. “Queen Sora!” She put her hands to her face as her mouth gaped open. “Look at my new dress! It’s made of cotton and silver!” She twirled around to show off her glistening flower.

“That’s beautiful, Coriander. Could you go find Dastri for me? I need her right away.” Her baby teeth shined brightly as she accepted her quest and took off running into the house. Not a minute later shards of light from her dress swept around Coriander as she ran back to us with Dastri alongside her. She stopped in front of me looking accomplished and curtsied.

“I have completed your quest, Queen Sora!” She exclaimed proudly. I curtsied back to her and formed a glass rose in my palm.

“For your splendid assistance, Cori.” She gasped with delight as she accepted her reward.

“Dastri, we need you to come back with us,” Ivo said, interrupting the child’s delight.

“Sora, what happened?” Dastri asked once we left her house.

“I honestly have no idea. I tried going back and it just didn’t work. We’re going back to try again now.” The sky grew darker and the smell of petrichor become prominent. A scream filled the air with fear and the gravity suddenly felt heavier.

“Are they coming out? This hasn’t happened in decades! Sora!” Dastri’s voice was panicked  and strained as she yelled over the sound of screams.

“I don’t know!” I yelled back to her. We stopped in front of the castle doors. They were covered completely in thorns, leaving the doors hardly distinguishable . My breathing quickened and my body was weighty yet my head felt light.

“Sora,” Ivo grabbed me by the shoulders and brought his face close to mine so I could hear him. “You need to calm down.”

“I can’t! I can’t leave this place now. I have to fix this!” I screamed back at him but my voice felt small.

“Open the doors. You can do it.”

I looked to the thorn laced doors and wished them away with all the concentration I could muster up. The doors crumbled in cubes of wood and vine and fell to the floor in defeat.

“Come on,” Ivo grabbed our hands and led us into the massive building. “Come on, come on, come on,” he whispered partly to us but mostly to himself. He gasped as he reached the top of the stairs we had just climbed. He let go of my hand and drew his sword. The creature in front of him was transparently black. A fear. It stood slightly taller than Ivo, a tall, lanky body that hunched over. It had no true face, just a blank space.

The three of us stood before it. Not a sound was made.

“Ivo, kill it.” Dastri whispered. Ivo kept his eyes locked on the strange creature as it started coming closer. Before any damage was done Dastri’s reflexes stepped in for Ivo’s delay. In one swift move she drew the sword from the sheath on her back creating my favorite noise. She stepped in front of Ivo, with strong courage and swung at the creature’s neck. The creature crumbled to the floor in cubes of its remains. Dastri’s eyes darted back to Ivo. Her eyes spoke more than anything she could say.

We made it back to the library. The room was how I left it, a catastrophe. The effect of the gravitron was still very present and slightly dizzying. I closed my eyes and imagined the room the way it was before the tornado hit it. I watched as the couches and chairs moved back to their rightful places. The fallen books secured their pages and floated up to their designated shelves. Ivo walked over to the fireplace on the left wall.

“The tea leaves should have worked. They were just picked this morning,” Ivo opened up the cabinet next to the fireplace and smelled one of the jars filled with tea leaves. “They still smell strong.”

“It almost seemed like it was working but the sleep didn’t feel quite right. I don’t know how to describe it,” I responded.

Dastri moved over next to Ivo and examined a peppermint leaf.

“Where were you before? What happened?” She asked.

I thought back to my graduation and tried to walk myself up to the point where I blanked. I remembered a big blur of memories that weren’t exactly in chronological order. Was I with my mom? I had been able to remember it earlier. Why couldn’t I remember now?

“I… I’m not sure,” I said as I wracked my brain trying to remember. Dastri sighed loudly. Ivo stood in front of the wall of windows and looked out to the gloomy skies. “I guess all we can really do is try again,” I layed on the daybed for the second time that day.

I watched Ivo prepare the dream tea and Dastri chiming in to tell him to put this or that in. I sipped on the tasty liquid and their words started to become soft static. The line between asleep and awake was a very fine, fuzzy line that was hard to distinguish. The soft static of my friends’ voices became sharper but didn’t sound exactly like their own. I sat up, still groggy, and found myself on a cloud. Ivo and Dastri were beside me conversing.

“Dastri? Ivo? Where are we?”I asked. They looked over at me confused.

“Who are you?” Dastri asked me aggressively.

“How did you get here?” Ivo asked next.

“What do you mean? What’s going on?” I asked them. Dastri looked over at Ivo, huffed, and jumped off the cloud with her arms extended. I crawled over to the edge in panic and saw that she had wings. I saw no ground. Just endless clouds and my friend flying away. “Ivo! Where are we?” I yelled at him frustrated that there were no answers.

“Who’s Ivo?” He raised a quizzical eyebrow at me. “My name is Coran. You must be mistaken. How did you get here?”

I stared blankly at him and my eyelids suddenly felt very heavy. Black pixels started to cover my vision and I felt myself falling backwards into the cold clouds.

I landed and awoke on my favorite daybed and saw a reflection of myself above me. I transferred realms. I was sure of it.

“Damn it.” I heard Ivo say under his breath. “It looked like she left. I don’t get it.” he continued. Dastri said something back to him too quietly for me to hear. I blinked the grogginess away and turned onto my side, facing my friends.

“I did leave.”

They looked skeptical.

“Then why are you still here?” Dastri challenged. I tried to explain to the best of my abilities but I sounded crazier than when I first arrived here and tried explaining where I was from. Questions were repeated over and over and over again with no understanding of the answers I tried to supply.

“It just wasn’t the right world! I fell asleep. I dreamt. I switched to the wrong realm and then I was here,” I said in finality trying to close the barrage of questions. We sat in silence for a while, chewing over what might have happened and what to do now. I followed Ivo’s eyes that were fixed on the window. A storm was brewing in the distance. Ivo and Dastri looked to me with concern.

“Sora, you need to fix this,” Ivo said to me. He was right. I was the cause of this and now the only solution.