A Soul in a Soundless World.

This is a story about a struggle of a soul who tries to be understood but she doesn't know how to make it clear, how to be who she is and still be accepted.

I used to dance when I was younger . Every day after the school I would go to the gymnasium to practice with other girls  like me.I would move my hands and feet with such an ease. I would make turns so fast that I would fall sometimes. But that was nothing. I would get up easily.I would fly with the wind , with the passion of my dance.

 Sometimes I think I never stopped dancing. My heart knows the dance:that beautiful artistic moves .I know I will always dance.Maybe not with the same joy and excitement. But I will dance with the same smile on my face, with the same love for life.

 There was a time when I would tell my story to people. I would tell them that I could  hear sounds while I was walking, talking to them, looking at the sky, just simply breathing. They wouldn't believe me. Now I know they never heard that music. That was just in my head, in my little world of illusions drawn by a painter. Those sounds were my feelings. I couldn't convert them nicely into words and they would just be stuck in my head as a song.Can I still hear those nice soft sounds?

 I will always hear that melody of love. I will smile with each happy note and I will feel sad with every painful decay.I will simply be alive.

And you my friend who is trying to find a station where you can listen to these wonderful sounds of a soul waiting for your acceptance ,would you dance with me ?

Even if you choose to go that will not make me sad. All that is making me sad sometimes is that you do not see me:a soul in a  soundless world.

How can I make this music loud?

How can I make this dance charming?

Reviews

[Evariste Galois]

Struggling to be heard in a world without sound. Or is she struggling to share what she hears in a world without sound? Either way, the story is good but some parts I liked better than others. The first paragraph flows extremely well - somewhat like a dancer. The half-rhyme with "me" and "ease" is a delight to hear in my internal voice as I visualize moving bodies.

The next paragraphs don't seem to flow quite as well and I can't put my finger on why. Maybe it's just the mix of consonant and vowel sounds you chose or the relative lack of alliteration, but the subsequent paragraphs read much more like normal prose (which is totally fine of course) while the first paragraph reads more like free verse poetry (which I thought was kind of neat). I'm not sure of your intentions or thought processes while writing this so I can't criticize it much beyond just observing that it's there.

The last bit was really nice though: "a soul in a soundless world./How can I make this music loud?" those are good lines. Interesting choice of "charming" too. It's not a "strong" adjective for a closing line but it fits great regardless.To me, being charmed is to feel a bit of happiness against your will, and I think that fits with the story.
Overall nice work.