HANDY MAN!

Your hands create the best food for us to enjoy,
Your hands choose to build things, instead of destroy.
Your hands hold mine, as they intertwine together,
Your hands move along my body, and warm me in cold weather.

Your hands are soft and kind, you have a gentle touch,
Your hands invade my mind, as i miss you so much.
Your hands can also be strong and steady, carry me through tough times,
Your hands tell me mine are more then ready,
For rings and wedding bell chimes.

Your hands will hold our baby saftly in your arms,
In the bedroom, your hands are your best charms.
Your hands need my hands to feel complete,
Your hands protect me if i ever get beat.

Your hands grab mine as you lead the way,
To our future, together we grow old and grey.
Your hand now holds mine as u weep,
For that life we had together away it creeps.

We held eachothers hands, throughout our lives,
Became those husbands and wives...
Your hands lock in mine now as i lay in bed,
Crying at the fact ill soon be dead.

I bring your hand to my lips, as i place a gentle kiss,
I smile at you, as i whisper theres was no place like this.
Its my time, and this is gods plan...
Ill always be your handy man.

Reviews

[Franky]

I think this is beautiful and imaginative! It's sweet and romantic and makes me want to read more.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank u so much for your kind review :)

[JayG]

A few comments on structure:

If you’re going to write structured poetry it’s essential that you dig into and understand it, because, while it rhymes, rhyming is not the purpose of a given line. The rhyme is an accent, the “tink” of a cymbal, not the thud of a drum.

The words of the line should never be bent to the needs of the rhyme, or present “Yoda-speak" to place the needed word at the end.

And the structure, stanza-to-stanza, needs to be consistent, so the reader will, like those listening to a song, fall into the rhythm of the poem and become a participant. That consistency also helps the reader speak the words in the way the poet hoped they would.

Look at the first verse of, The Twelfth of Never, as an example:
- - - -
You ask me how much I need you, must I explain?
I need you, oh my darling, like roses need rain
You ask how long I'll love you, I'll tell you true
Until the Twelfth of Never, I'll still be loving you
- - - - -
Notice that the words fall naturally, with the rhyme almost incidental, because the word used is the perfect one for the thought being presented.

Look next at the internal rhythm, as expressed in the flow of stressed and unstressed syllables—what we call prosody. Obviously we don’t hammer at the stressed syllables as the capitalization seems to suggest, but none-the-less, that is the flow, and the reader notes and uses it.
- - - -
You ASK me how MUCH I NEED you, must I expLAIN?
I NEED you, OH my DARling, like ROSes need RAIN
You ASK how LONG I'll LOVE you, I'll TELL you TRUE
UnTILL the TWELFth of NEVer, I'll STILL be LOVng you
- - - -
Notice that there are three beats before the hesitation of the comma on every line, followed by two after. The one speaking the poem (and poetry is intended to be spoken aloud) will fall into the rhythm, and perform, not just say it.

In this case, the last word of the stanza, the word “you,” can be taken as being stressed or unstressed by the reader, and works either way. Was it meant to be stressed, a small change in rhythm as a coda for the stanza? I can’t say, and as a song I’ve heard it sung both ways, successfully.

And for all of the following verses the rhyming structure of AABB, or what’s called rhyming couplets, maintains what’s established in S1, as does the prosody.

For a great example of how prosody can get you into the spirit of the thing (and a different pattern to the rhyming), try a read of Robert W. Service’s, The Cremation of Sam McGee. Written over 100 years ago, it still has the power to get a group of people stomping their feet in the rhythm of the thing as you perform, and laughing at the ending, as well.
https://www.shmoop.com/cremation-sam-mcgee/poem-text.html

Notice that while the number of words on a given line varies, the beat is like a metronome, ticking steadily away. And, the pages after the poem present an analysis of it that’s worth reading. And for another, excellent take on the use of the techniques of the poet, look at the excerpt for Stephen Fry’s, The Ode Less Traveled on Amazon.

Hope this helps

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/