NEW LOVE!

I love you more then any words can say,
But this poem will still take your breath away.
Im in so deep and im more then scared,
Because when it comes to heartbreak im never prepaired.

I want you to love me with every fiber you have inside,
I want u to open up to me until theres nothing to hide.
I want you to want ME, not just anyone to fill a lonley void,
I want what we have to be strong and never be destroyed.

I only want our love to advance,
And through life together we can dance.
Im terrified you'll tear me apart,
But i beg you dont break my heart.

I can be allot to deal with, im a giant disaster,
But when it comes to being a great lover I'm a master.
I know im not the easiest person to love for sure
But good things dont come easy anymore.

If you dont take me for granted,
I will cherish you and all you are.
I wanna look back at where we started,
And see we have come so far.

I love you joel you mean more then my words explain,
And i hope by being together we have less to loose, More to gain.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This feels like a conversational love song by a narrator who's doing a strong sell-job! I think most any woman could convince most any man, with a sales pitch like this! Guys sometimes need a little shove & that's what this msg does. One drawback for me is all the "I want you's" in front of every line. This waters down the intensity of your expressions, having these unnecessary words that add nothing to the meaning. If you started with "Love me with every fiber" and "Open up to me" -- these would be much more powerful statements. Don't water them down with the leading empty words. In a few other places, I might prune out some empty meaningless words (just becuz I like my writing to be tight), but it's not distracting anywhere but in V2 as I mentioned. Everywhere else, it just sounds conversational, like you're really talking to the guy (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

I really like the way you view things. I can see what you mean. Yeah i dont know what he would think, he doesn't really read my poetry

[barleygirl]

I've always thought that a true friend must be able to at least PRETEND to like my writing *wink! wink!* But that's a hard requirement since most people don't read much of anything really!

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

I love the emotion that entails this,
The feeling that shows the perfect sincerity.

Well written, Cimmy.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank u :)