ANXIETY

Suddenly there it is i start obsessively overthinking.
The tears stream down my face as im blinking.
I start to tremble and shake as i sit alone and prepair,
Because i know in the end noone is going to be there.

I listen to the sound of my heart, as it beats fast in my chest, its Tightning i feel weak, alone, and Extreamly destressed.
Never ever do i keep my emotions repressed,
Yet still i feel so far from my best.

Then i think wait what is me at my best, what is my good or great,
I start to breath heavy as i stop and think wait...
These thoughts race through my head... i feel
Defeated
Iv retreated,
Down, beated,
Unloved,
Denied,
Forced to surrender to these feelings inside.

The feelings of loneliness, and fear,
Knowing that your not F*****g here.
I cant go it alone,
Ill never survive,
Im drowning in a river of tears,
Surcome to all my fears,
That av beat me down all these years.

Ill never be good enough,
Things will never change,
My life f**k i want it rearranged...
Can somebody end the suffering,
As my heart let it beat its last,
And leave me as a distant memory,
Someone that wasnt strong enough to get past...
Lifes vicious circle, lifes cruel ways,
Leave my corpse there for days and days,
Because i feel so unimportant at times,
I feel forgot,
So f*****g what..
Leave me there to rot...
Now i feel like iv lost the plot...

This poem is no longer making sense,
I think i should finish up and commence.
Yer thats it its done,
Its through,
So ill end this in anxiety
F**K U!

Reviews

[adichie]

I feel forgot,
So f*****g what..
Leave me there to rot...
Now i feel like iv lost the plot...

Yeah, girl. I can relate.

Mind if I share a write of my own on this subject with you? I may post it later on.

It’s called Roots of my trees.



roots of my trees




we're off to see the wizard
in a yellow submarine
not even a road trip
coz I live between the be
and not to be.

courage
lives in the roots of my trees

but for me
osmosis works in reverse
every time I look down
they do an ivory dance around,
roots to the power of
even more brave

and I live between the be
and not to be.




Friends?!

keep your enemies closer,
don't trust.
the end justifies the means
and don't trust.
never trust.

who jackhammered the message
into my brain
again and again
so that I never
got the taste of sane?

courage lives
in the roots of my trees.

but that whole community is willing
to go on vacation

if they hear the perfect pitch of a divining rod
in the hands
of a true friend.




I live between the be
and not to be.



Time is like the shatter of glass
swallowed by the hiss of steam
on some ancient old train.
backward.
but forward.

I am nothing,
naked and unnatured
fruit in the gardens on the road to strange.

Time is like
a coat made out of
every great taste
you ever had.

Put it on,
and my fruit fall upward onto the tree.
From goth maidens, they
lose their deep purple metallic death
and colour bright yellow into a walk of sunrise
without shame.


(How do I take time
without stealing?
How do I steal time
and not get caught?

Just take it.
Breathe deep.
And kickstart the roots of my trees.)



I live.
To be.

—-

Your friend,
Adix

[HadesRising]

Anxiety is a very tough thing, many of my pupils suffer with it, so I know how bad it is. I love this piece of poetry you wrote. It is very stand out. Keep it up.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank u :)

[Chris Shaw]

Anxiety is the pits, it is so debilitating. I have watched my grandson suffer with it for years. So much of what you have written, he has spoken to me about. Getting it all out in the open helps as is finding people who understand exactly how you feel. Your fifth stanza is like listening to him. He is creative too. Lines conveyed from the soul of you. Just how it is.

Chris

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Im sorry that your grandson also goes through this. Im glad you enjoyed my poem. Im sure your grandson is lucky to have you :)

[Chris Shaw]

Talking is the key. Finding people you can trust enough to pour your heart out knowing that they will love you whatever :)) Good luck.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

I do that alot helps sometimes

[Chris Shaw]

Even if it's only sometimes, that is better than not at all :)

[barleygirl]

What makes this compelling is how there seems to be a storyline where the narrator is leading the reader along thru the bumps & mindgames & bargains & coping, just as if we are seeing & feeling thru these tweaked receptors & interpretors of life. There's an underlying confidence that does not paint this as coming from a victim, but rather coming from an experienced navigator of turbulent waters (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thanks so much, i love hering what every individual gets from my poetry

[Coyote Poetry]

Few shall appreciate us.
"Lifes vicious circle, lifes cruel ways,
Leave my corpse there for days and days,
Because i feel so unimportant at times,
I feel forgot,
So f*****g what.. "
We must find people who appreciate us. Leave the naysayers in the dust. A emotional ride in the words.
Coyote

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank u :)

[LitStar]

the shattering of the 4th wall at the end is what drives it home

a piece that brings the reader to it's knees as cripplingly so as the disorder itself


L.S

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Im glad u enjoyed that. Thank u for the review

[alanwgraham]

This is straight from the heart which is the source of great poetry. Anxiety is a terrible thing and your description is very authentic. Beating anxiety might seem impossible but getting help and looking within is the answer not getting angry with others. You could do quite a lot with spelling grammar etc but that doesn't detract from the raw immediacy of your fine poem.
Take care.
Alan

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank u so much for ur review :)