THE ATTEMPT

What im going through at the moment

I wonder what was going on in your head that night,
and how doing such a thing could ever feel right.
You didn't wake me, when these thoughts ran through your head,
Do you know how i felt to find you, and think you may be dead?

I guess that night nothing mattered, not even love,
Nothing seemed worth living for, when push came to shove.
The memories and good times, you wanted to leave behind,
Leaving yourself in that state, in the backyard, for me to find.

Bloody knife beside you, you laying still on the ground,
I called out to you in panic, but you didn't make a sound.
Until i went up closer, to see you shiver and shake,
I breathed in a sigh of relief, knowing you where awake.

You "were" confused and not yourself for a fair few days,
You "were" quiet and different, in quite a few ways.
Now that you are back to yourself, and getting well,
I don't think you realise how far you really fell.

What you did was allot more serious then what you think,
Your life could have been over, within a blink.
I still think it was selfish of you for sure,
to not want to be with the people who love you anymore.

Im pretty traumatised and going through "a lot"
You should never have put me in that spot.
I can't help but feel like i wasn't enough,
was it easy to leave me behind, when life got tough?

I can't understand it, and "there's" so many questions in my head,
so why? oh please babe, tell me why, would you want to wind up dead?

Reviews

[Bala Gorthi]

It is really a sad spot to be in. You have very well brought your concern, anguish and agony one goes when one's close persons takes such a decision.
I wish the depressed ones realise that there are people who love and care for them in their weak moments.
Thanks for sharing this beautiful write Cimmy.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Awwww thanks for the awesome review. Yes he has tonz of support and love, from allot of people.
read moreAwwww thanks for the awesome review. Yes he has tonz of support and love, from allot of people.
Thanks again for the review.

[wordman]

sad write and even more a sad situation,they are consumed with out knowing it..

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank you for your review wordman. Yes quite a hard situation, but he and I will both pull through.

[wordman]

yes you will,and you`re welcome

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Sorry for your experience. It's such a strong write. I'm amazed how you got this out and I hope it took some of the pain away. I never want to say the wrong thing, and I don't know what the right thing is, that is, to say. What you are reading now has been edited many of times, which goes to show that I'm at a lost of words over the power of your write. I hope this person of which you speak gets stronger and that y'all can look pass it.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

This review is perfect so dont worry. I appreciate that you thought so hard about what to write. Thank you for this well thought out review.
I don't think writing this did help to be honest, but i love writing as a way to vent anyway so thought id jolt my feelings down.
Im glad you could see the power in my words and that you enjoyed the read. really appreciate your review :)

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Thank you for saying that my review was perfect and you're most welcome. Oh, sad to hear it didn't help you feel better. Writing is good for meditation, retention, explorations (escapism) and as you said, venting. I'm sure this poem will help many viewers, because it's topic, perspective, and sobering realistic power. You jotting your thoughts down and posting them are truly a good cause.

"Poetry can be dangerous, especially beautiful poetry, because it gives the illusion of having had the experience without actually going through it." - Rumi

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Yer sometimes poetry can make you feel better. but it seems with what this has put me though, that nothing seems to make me feel much better.

I like that saying :)

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Perhaps seeing this someone get better will help you feel better. Time does wonders, music does too. Hope you feel better Cimmy.

Yes, me too. It's perfectly worded. :)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Yes music is awesome be lost without it :)

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

What is your favorite song?

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

I have way to many songs i like, dont have a favorite.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Oh I see. That's pretty much what every body says anyway, I should have known. :)