NEGATIVE EMOTIONS!

Hello my name is defeat, 

I make you want to retreat.

Im the one you feel you will never beat, 

I tell you all those high standards you'll never meet.

Hello my name is despair,

I make you no longer care.

I make you give up on yourself and your life,

I tear your self confidence up like a knife.

Hello my name is depressed, 

Its not hard to have guessed.

When im here you feel far from your best, 

You feel so worthless and unimportant from the rest.

Hello my name is self doubt, 

when im here you just want out. 

You want to give up, nothing you do will ever be right, 

Your dreams seem unreachable impossible, out of sight.

Hello my name is fear, 

This is how you know im here. 

You miss out on opportunity's in life, and let life slip away, 

All because of the fears that can scare you, each and everyday.

Hello my name is shame, 

You certainly know my name. 

I am the one who tells you, your the one to blame,

I make you feel like you do nothing right, your stupid and lame.

Hello my name is negative emotions, I cover all of the above and more, 

All of these emotions I give you arn't very pleasant that's for sure. 

I make all your thoughts negative, I cause so much stress and pain, 

You have everything to lose and I have everything to gain.

Reviews

[dan]

cimmy, I have to tell you, the concept (which was neatly illustrated by the graphic at the end) is original and it makes complex feeling seem easy to embody as you describe them. You OWN each anxiety-driven package of negative thought, you claim it as your own to explain why this thought (fear, depression, self-doubt etc.) is twisting your gut in knots. cimmy, this is a VERY GOOD and ACCOMPLISHED write, showing a lot of mature thought from one your age. HINT: If you are going to write things this GOOD, this ACCOMPLISHED...you should take extra time to iron out any problems with spelling, punctuation, etc. Those little tiny errors can distract the reader from the great quality of the writing. Now please just take this as CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, not a knock on your write. This piece shows me that your writing is evolving as you become older, more mature. VERY nice job on this!! take care...dan

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

This was a wonderful review Dan i apresiate such a long wonderful review. I also see where you are coming from with the grammar. I hope it isnt that bad. I would fix it tell me ehat needs fixing. Thanks again :)

[Amber Lily]

This is a great message! These are emotions that we have to experience every day of our lives, and if we give in to even one of these we screw ourselves over in the end. Stay strong and be confident, even when everyone and everything doubts you. The only person that truly knows you is you, and you can do anything with your mind set to it. Oddly enough, even though this poem talks about negative things, it sends positive vibes. Good work :)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank you again amber. Back at you :).

[Daniel Valentine Rivera]

This has the be the most creative poem I have ever came across. It's also very true, how negative emotions can bring us down but those negative emotions are sometimes what drive our ambitions and goals. Emotions makes us human. This poem reminds me a lot of a very wonderful movie, called "Inside Out". You're very talented Cimmy, and I'm slightly envious about how you're words turn to magic. I'm proud of you. :)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

This review made my day. Thank u for your awesome review. I was inspired off a song called Hello my name is. Its by mathew somthing.
Thank you so much.

[Angad Waraich]

A well written and intriguing piece. I loved the concept, a great read.
Thank you for sharing.

-Angad

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thanks for the review :)

[HipsterPrincess17]

Good job! I think you worked hard on this and it worked out really well in the end

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank you :)

[dan]

(#1...instead of abbreviation for I am is I'm, you write im)(#2...instead of you're for 'you are,' you write your)(#3...instead of aren't for 'are not,' you write arn't) Now these MAY seem very minor, and they are. But they could make the reader not notice how DAMN GOOD the piece is. And if you submit things like this to try to get them published, they would be deleted forever...bye-bye. Like I said, the maturity and quality of your writing is on the uptick...make sure these little errors don't keep pace...just a little bit more careful, OK? You're doing GREAT!! take care...dan

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

I apresiate that you took the time to write all that and help. Ill deffs have to make time to fix it. Thanks dan :)

[dan]

You got it. dan

[HipsterPrincess17]

Good job! I think you worked hard on this and it worked out really well in the end

[cycy]

Hello my name is defeat,
I make you want to retreat.
Im the one you feel you will never beat,
I tell you all those high standards you'll never meet.

wow cimmy you really went an extra mile on this one, i feel this is possibly your best one yet, i love how you carefully crafted each emotion into a character and paired it with the perfect description and a very clever catchy rhyme too. well done hunny. absolutely brilliant, love love love it.xxx

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thanks for your wonderful review hun means so much. Glad you liked it so much.

[Edis Radoncic]

I like how you make these human emotions into characters. I think it is very clever. Great job!

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank you :)

[Coyote Poetry]

We are tested daily.
"You have everything to lose and I have everything to gain."
Nice artwork and description left a lot for the reader to think about. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank you for your review :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.