NEGATIVE EMOTIONS!

Hello my name is defeat, 

I make you want to retreat.

Im the one you feel you will never beat, 

I tell you all those high standards you'll never meet.

Hello my name is despair,

I make you no longer care.

I make you give up on yourself and your life,

I tear your self confidence up like a knife.

Hello my name is depressed, 

Its not hard to have guessed.

When im here you feel far from your best, 

You feel so worthless and unimportant from the rest.

Hello my name is self doubt, 

when im here you just want out. 

You want to give up, nothing you do will ever be right, 

Your dreams seem unreachable impossible, out of sight.

Hello my name is fear, 

This is how you know im here. 

You miss out on opportunity's in life, and let life slip away, 

All because of the fears that can scare you, each and everyday.

Hello my name is shame, 

You certainly know my name. 

I am the one who tells you, your the one to blame,

I make you feel like you do nothing right, your stupid and lame.

Hello my name is negative emotions, I cover all of the above and more, 

All of these emotions I give you arn't very pleasant that's for sure. 

I make all your thoughts negative, I cause so much stress and pain, 

You have everything to lose and I have everything to gain.

Reviews

[dan]

cimmy, I have to tell you, the concept (which was neatly illustrated by the graphic at the end) is original and it makes complex feeling seem easy to embody as you describe them. You OWN each anxiety-driven package of negative thought, you claim it as your own to explain why this thought (fear, depression, self-doubt etc.) is twisting your gut in knots. cimmy, this is a VERY GOOD and ACCOMPLISHED write, showing a lot of mature thought from one your age. HINT: If you are going to write things this GOOD, this ACCOMPLISHED...you should take extra time to iron out any problems with spelling, punctuation, etc. Those little tiny errors can distract the reader from the great quality of the writing. Now please just take this as CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, not a knock on your write. This piece shows me that your writing is evolving as you become older, more mature. VERY nice job on this!! take care...dan

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

This was a wonderful review Dan i apresiate such a long wonderful review. I also see where you are coming from with the grammar. I hope it isnt that bad. I would fix it tell me ehat needs fixing. Thanks again :)

[Diamond]

Okay! now to begin with, I have also read the acrostic poem you wrote on your name, in which the first word you wrote for the letter "N" in your name was "Negative". So I understand that this is one of your states of mind that brought out this writing. Correct me if I am wrong.

Coming to this writing. I am sure that the reader can get a counter effect of reading this poem since, many individuals experience these negative emotions some time or the other. And definitely by those who are in arts like writing, painting and music etc. Because, their personality puts them in a place where they find the ordinary modes of communication insufficient to express their emotions, particularly negative. You have summed up all together at one place. I believe that after writing this piece you felt empowered enough to knock them down, for the then time being. Good one!!

PS: This is by far my longest review :)
I hope that you enjoy it.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

No i wouldnt say you are wrong i can be quite a negitive person.
I appreciate your long review i hope you enjoy my writing. Thank you :)

[barleygirl]

I like the way you personify so many demons that reside in most of us . . . as if they're alive & chipping away at us . . . yet I also feel the demons are minimized . . . as if by explaining it's only a figment of our human condition, this lessens the power negativity has over us. This is an original approach to the usual pep talk . . . you're dispelling the negativity rather than showing how to climb mountains. Sometimes people who feel down are made to feel worse by a "rah! rah!" type pep talk. So that's why I like this approach to an inspirational message. We have to conquer the negativity before we can even think about climbing those mountains.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank you for another wonderful review.
Thats true we have to battle these demons in order to defeat them.

[Nathan D Baker]

Beautiful!! I love love love this one!!

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thankz :) :)

[Nathan D Baker]

You should really the rest of my writings... Hiding Demons and Stuck On a Memory in particular

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Ill have to get around to it.

[Marvolo]

This was brilliantly done, the concept was great and unique. It's become one of my favorite poems! (no joke)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank you very much that means allot to me, for you to say that. I'm glad you enjoyed it so much.

[Chase]

I despise negativity, and this is a good spin off the subject. I was expecting it to lighten towards the end, and run itself up into a positive, but nope.. you barreled through with the negativity XD its a rather funny piece, and I very much enjoyed it.

A few suggestions! In stanza six, both of your "your"s should be "you're". And a lot of the phrasing is just a tad awkward to read since the line lengths vary so extremely, if not consistently, so i would also suggest going over the piece and dealing out some hard core changes to get a better flow! Don't change the message you are delivering, though. I really liked this poem. Keep at it, and nice to meet you:)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank you for the review Chase, glad you liked it s much thanks for the feedback :P
Nice to meet you to :)

[Chase]

No problem :)

[mark]

great write beautiful :) u got this off that song didnt ya? its amazing how a song inspires u this much. i love each and every one of your poems. i can read them all day :) u r such a talented writer :) great poem babe with lots of meaning. P.S I LOVE YOU!

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank you hunny, yes I did and I love that song.
Your so sweet thanks for your review, I love your reviews.
P.S: Love you more :)

[mark]

awwww :) no worries :) i love you too xxxx

[Inject Positivity]

Again im giving you claps for the concept....Your writings are very unique, the reader will definitely get interested to read all of your writings if he reads just one of your writing....Very well thought out work....You have beautifully portrayed the different emotions of a human mind......Full rating as always....I think you can be a motivational writer.....

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank you very much for another awesome review :)
Very glad you like my work :)

[Michael (Letters and Li..]

This was very cool! I love the concept! It's very unique. The rhyming was also amazing. It made the poem flow wonderfully. And on top of everything, you present a very good message here. All around, a very good piece that truly showcases your talent as a writer. Good job, my friend!

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thanks heaps for the wonderful review :)

[Penny]

Looks like a creative psychology class on stress and coping.. Lol. Well, first of all, very imaginitive, expressive. Its good to see how you tried to incorporate rhythm. The poem is good, but it little rugged. Guess, its a common issue all of us face. Well done.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank you very much for the review Penny :)

[Penny]

Pleasure is all mine.

[marcus]

a good write with a valuable point!

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank you :)