Chapter 14: Making an Effort

By the next day mum is her usuall normal self. Im in my room about to get dressed as I here my mother talking about some other princess event again. Doesn't suprise me at all. 

All she talks about is everything to do with royalty, I can never have a proper conversation to her unless its about me being a princess. I can never go to her for guy advice because she has already picked out a husband for me, one of whom I can't stand. Although she does all this and doesn't seem to think about me and what I want for one second, I find myself slipping into this fancy purple dress. One thats a little to short for my liking. I usually hesitate to wear this and walk down the stair's trying to get away with wearing with what I want. Although today seeing as my mother is very Ill, I find myself wanting to make her proud, before I don't have the chance. I look in the mirror tears sliding down my face, I don't see a princess in that mirror, Im not cut out for it, I don't look like one, im not worthy and everyone knows I don't want to be one. I think about mum and how all

she ever wanted, was a daughter like Anna, one with beauty elegance, and one who want's to be the best princess. A daughter to follow in her footsteps. I look at myself in the mirror again, and I frown, thinking I can't even give her that, before she goes. Who am I kidding Im no princess. I angrliy wipe my tears away, I need to stop crying and be 

strong for mum. Plus I need to put this makeup on. I grab the mascara and apply it, it looks horrible, I have no idea what im doing. I angrily take it off. 

"Lydia, are you awake." My mother calls. 

"Yeah ill be down there in a second mum." I call back.

About fifteen minutes later, I figure I don't want to keep mum waiting, and I figure this is the best I can do with my makeup. So I get into some shoes with real decent heals on them, they match the purple dress. I quickly glace in the mirror again and frown, thinking to myself that this is far from a good make up job, im so hopeless. I hope I can impress her with my walk at least. She wouldn't know but I was practicing last night in my room walking up and down in these things, trying so hard to perfect that princess criss cross walk. I think in the end I got it, after falling on my a*s at least fifty times. Took me at least an hour and a half of walking. 

I yell out. "Im ready mum." 

"I doubt it." I here her yell back. 

I frown as I walk out my room, there mum is down the bottom of the stairs. She see's me and wait, is that a hint of a smile on her face, and her eyes are wide open, as if she can't believe I have dressed myself like this. I take a deep breath, put my head forward and walk down the stairs. To my shock im quite steady and im doing the criss cross thing, its taking allot of my focus, and its hard not to look down, Im just guessing where the steps are. By the look on my mothers face im not doing a bad job at all she looks speechless. 

I smile and then its all over. I miss a step and before I know it I fall down the last three steps. I land flat on my a*s with my standing over me. I feel very disappointed in myself, as 

I look up at her with tears starting to form in my eyes again. I murmur I can't do anything right. Of course she yells at me to get up and not to murmur. So I get up and look at her. 

"Stop crying." My mother demands. 

"I wipe the tears away from my eyes, guessing my mascara is even more ruined now. I must look shocking. 

"Now what have you done wrong." She says giving me her look of disapproval. 

"Everything" I murmur. 

"That just there, the murmuring and looking down, that's what you are doing wrong. The defeated look you get when you fail. You need to get up shake it off and stay confident,

even though you messed up. Although if you didn't act like that after you fell, that would have been great. Yes you messed up on the last three steps, but that was a huge improvement, you walk dare I say it almost perfect. You just learnt yourself?" She ask's with a smile. 

I try to wake myself up, I mean I must be dreaming, if I actually heard my mother say I had done well. 

"Yes I practiced last night." I say trying to sound confident. 

"Well it payed of." My mother says with a smile. "But you might need more practice with your make up. Lets go back upstairs, ill teach you how to apply it properly."

We are back in my room and my mother teaches me how to put all my makeup on, I actually feel like we are bonding for the first half an hour. I have never had this with mum before. A mother teaching her daughter how to apply makeup, was the closet to normal my mother had gotten. Then I just had to say something about her illness and that was it. 

"Mother." I say

"Yes." comes her response.

"Are you scared." I whisper.

Of what." She replies.

"Of dying." I finish. Tears now stream down my eyes just thinking about it. 

"Young lady do not cry, you are being stupid and childish, you will ruin your make up." She yells. 

"But mum." I stutter. 

"Im going to die soon yes. That's just how it is, I accept that. You can't get all emotional about it. You must stay strong and take my place, soon after this happens, you can't let this affect you. As a queen you must be strong take over be the leader. I have allot to teach you in little time, there is no time for emotions." She responds, looking at me harshly.

"You're make up is done, maybe next time you can do it yourself. Well lets hope so anyway. Because soon you will have to learn about things allot bigger then putting on makeup and walking, and you will have to know all these things in less than two months." She says as she glares at me. I will start teaching you the roll of being a queen tomorrow. As for today you can do what you wish. Although you will go out in what you are in, you are a princess and that is what they wear." She finishes, and with that she leaves me in my room and shuts the door behind her.