HALF A HEART!

I was inspired by the song half a heart from one direction. Once again this is dedicated to my amazing man! I truly am half a heart without you.

I'M HALF A HEART:

When we're apart I'm just not quite myself,

I'm missing pieces and I no longer feel complete.

Like a book with missing pages, pulled from its shelf,

Half of me goes with you, as does the books sheet.

I'M NOT MOTIVATED:

I'm not motivated to do things we usually do together,

I hibernate like an animal in stormy weather. 

I miss you far too quick, far too soon,

I'm like a song that has no tune.

I FEEL LIKE:

A puzzle missing its most important piece, 

Putting it together just wouldn't be the same.

Like a paper once so perfect, that now has a crease,

Like a poor sad little dog that no one will claim.

I NEED YOU:

I need you like a hot air balloon needs fire to fly,

I need you like a bird needs to soar in the sky. 

I need you like the world needs night and day,

It can't have one, it needs both, that's just the way.

I WANT YOU:

I want you like a kid wants some toys,

Just like that its you that brings me my joys.

I want you like a dog wants attention, and even a pat,

I also love attention but in different ways than that. 

I'M HALF A HEART:

So when you read this, just to let you know, 

My feelings for you will continue to grow. 

I'm half a heart when you're not here,

I hope this poem has made that clear.

Reviews

[Sati]

This poem is such an honest one, Cimmi. You have related the whole feeling of love with all possible emotions and passions of this universe. Like nature, earth, sky, science, animals, humans, objects - it just shows the depth of the love that you hold in you. Beautiful piece of writing. Very true to what you have defined yourself as - 100% unique and totally you! :-)Good read.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Awww what a beautiful review :)
thank you so much :)

[Sati]

You are welcome!

[melissa]

This is amazing poem keep up the great work and keep sending me more to read i love reading them

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thanks Melisa glad you liked it :)
Will do :)

[melissa]

Your welcome

[Shaquana Adams]

Beautifully written! I enjoyed!
-QuanaWana

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank you :)

[Johanna]

very very nice and I love your creative style.. "I need you like the world needs night and day,
It can't have one, it needs both, that's just the way." these were my favorite lines, it needs both! love that!
I actually like the song this poem was inspired by as well, "half a heart" it´s one of the few songs of 1D that I like, and I think you deepened it even so. Very impressed Cimmy!

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Awww thank you hun for your wonderful review :)
Im glad you enjoyed :)
Yes thats a great song :)

[Blue]

Cimmy, everytime I check your poems, they only get better and better. This is one of the best of yours and the most poetic! Figurative languages crowd this poem, intensifying your message. The structure is also creative and professional. You succeeded at impressing me. Again.

Few corrections, if you let me...

I'M HALF A HEART:
When WE'RE apart, I''m just not quite myself, (we're; 'I' is capitalized; you may change comma for a period)
I'm missing pieces, and I no longer feel complete. (You may choose to omit the comma)
Like a book that's missing pages, pulled from its shelf, (or 'like a book WITH missing pages)
Half of me goes with you, as does the books sheet. (should be 'book sheets' but it will break the rhyme scheme so I suggest revising the last five words)

I'M NOT MOTIVATED:
I'm not motivated to do things, we usually do together, (delete comma after 'things')
I hibernate like an animal in stormy weather. (add 'a' so that it will be 'in a stormy weather; also it's better, I think, for you to specify what kind of animal)
I miss you far to quick, far to soon, (far too quick, far too soon)
I'm like a song that has no tune. (I LIKE THIS!)

I FEEL LIKE:
A puzzle missing its most important piece, (NICE!)
Putting it together just wouldn't be the same. (the pronoun 'it' might be misunderstood as referring to 'puzzle'--I suggest 'putting the parts together...)
Like a paper once so perfect, that now has a crease, (but now, it has a crease)
Like a poor sad little dog that no one will claim. (or like a poor sad little dog...)

4th stanza: I need you like a bird needs to sore in the sky. (soar)

I WANT YOU: (this stanza is CUTE)
I want you like a kid wants some toys,
Just like that its you that brings me my joys. (sounds awkward and vague...do you mean 'just like how you bring me some joys'...if so, it needs rephrasing)
I want you like a dog wants attention, and even a pat, (wow! really good line!)
As a human I also love attention, but in different ways then that. (delete 'as a human'; delete comma after attention; change 'then' to 'than'

I'M HALF A HEART:
So when you read this just to let you know, (So when you read this, I just want you to know)
My feelings for you will continue to grow.
I'm half a heart when your not here, (you're)
I hope this poem made that clear. (I hope this poem has made that clear)

Wow. I've never reviewed anybody's work as intricately as this! Anyway, I hope this helps, Cimmy.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Awwww thank you hun, I do agree most of that sounds better, I will be sure to correct it when I have the time.
Your reviews are simply lovley, Im sure you took a very long time to help me with this and write this huge review, your so sweet, I much appreciate it.
Thank you your words mean so much, the fact that you think im Improving this much means more then you can know thank you hun :)

[Blue]

This took me 30 minutes, you know? I could have reviewed 5 other poems! Haha. Kidding. It's a pleasure, Cimmy. You're sweet and really kind I can't refuse to do you favor.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

I know your such a sweetheart, you truly are one of a kind.
Keep being you, everyone adores you hun.
Thanks again :)

[Blue]

Not everyone. Some 'unfriended' me here, you know? ;) Thanks, anyway!

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Why in the world would they do that?
Your welcome hun :)

[Blue]

I must have not been fair in giving reviews. Don't know.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

There silly.......

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Hun I corrected it have a re read tell me if that's better :)

[stars are far]

that very great .. well written girl

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank you :)

[Tina Louise UK]

So very beautiful hun :) x

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

thanks hun :)

[Erik Daniel]

Beautiful. Simply Beautiful I love it Cimmy! Well done!

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank you so much glad you liked it :)

[annabellee]

I'm sorry but I think that this is not one of your best writes. It's very heartfelt and sweet but I just don't like the change of the rhyming scheme halfway through the poem.
It's still a good poem though :)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

I didn't notice I changed the rhyme scheme. What do you mean Anna? I would love to try to never do this again as its weird hering you didn't really like one of my pieces as you always like everything i have written.
Thank you for your review though hun much appreciated.

[annabellee]

In the first and the third stanza you rhyme the first with the third line and the second with the fourth one.
Don't get me wrong though I still actually liked it, there are just other poems of yours that I liked better :)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Oh i see what your talking about now. Yer i have done that with another one or two pieces im sure.
Im glad you still liked it anyway :)

[Madalyn Beck]

This is a touching write. It's amazing how there is someone out there who can make us feel complete. :)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

sure is :)
Thank you for your kind review :)

[Matthew Bosko]

Powerfully demonstrates each topic that highlights it.

"I'm a song with no tune" That line stuck with me, just remember a song sung in a capella can still be beautiful! :)

Keep it up.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank you so much for your review :)