In My Father's Shoes

A sort of my authobiography

The lamp of the bright life had darkened

when my father's life was taken by God.

It was the darkest moment ever

experienced by my mother and family.

 

We are family of ten. I am the eldest.

That time I was twenty years of age

A new graduate and has no job yet

My mother's teary query eyes was on me

 

I saw in her eyes what she meant,

sickly diabetic mother, ten children

with five years old as the youngest.

That's a lot to feed in one day and on.

 

I was dumbstruck. Like in black cloak

on my face with small hole to peep.

I have to visualize the future. Survival

I have to toil and family to care of.

 

In storm of life we were in. We should get out.

I step up, step in to my father's shoes

And I walked to search the sunshine of hope

Then I took the road across the ocean

 

From east, to west end road sunshine I found

At that side of the world I got the decent job

Earnings, enough to pay my mother's

health bills and family expenses

 

Finally time came, self sacrifices paid off

My brothers and sisters finished college

Load to my shoulders time to unload

That's I think of, but I can't

 

Poverty in my native land, social cancer of sort

Still I have to run, carry the load to bear

To take the shoes off ? Nay. Still to wear, support

I have conscience, a heart, I care

 

 

Ency Bearis

All Rights Reserved 2011

 

 

 

Reviews

[Pax]

"Poverty in my native land, social cancer of sort"
~ oh how i feel the sentiments in that sentence alone... aren't we all the victim of our own native land.. aren't we the one suffering from all the past's misdeeds... despite all that aren't we the outcome of positive light... yes, we all come from the dark period... but the thing filipinos have is the bright smile to keep up... to be positive despite the negative situations(well mostly of us)... i hear you kabayan... and the burden you carry i see it clearly...

very expressive write!

[Ency Bearis]

Thanks kabayan Pax for your comments, you're right, I just expressed my sentiments.

[Prritiy]

The words tell what a wonderful person the writer is. Its an honor to know you :).

The creation is nice as always :)

[Ency Bearis]

It's an honor to know you too Prritiy, many thanks

[Prritiy]

you are welcome :)

[Ency Bearis]

: )

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Sir Ency, I salute you for being a responsible son and brother. The eldest one is usually the breadwinner, the one with wider understanding and conscience, and of course a big heart.
Great job! :)

[Ency Bearis]

Thanks dhaye for reading this short biography of mine.

[Poppie Mira]

i have been going through you poems, all are great works!
Anyway, well done for being in your father's shoes.

[Ency Bearis]

Thanks Poppie Mira

[gabrielle]

I'd like to say that your family is truly blessed to have you. I am glad that your siblings did not take for granted the opportunity you've given them. If only all our people had your determination and will and not just rely and be content on charities, then maybe our living would be improved.
Your story is very inspiring.

[Ency Bearis]

Thanks gabrielle for your valuable comments, I appreciate it.

[Androglossia]

I liked the narrative structure of the poem. It reflects our culture and our traits. Yet on the contrary, I don't see poverty in our land a social cancer. The Philippines isn't poor & I don't think I'm in denial here, it is just that the Filipino people are accustomed to simple and primeval ways and that's one of the factors that's holding us back. We know what we have and we know what we can offer. The real illness of the Philippine society is ineptitude and docility. Well at least for me:)

Don't get me wrong, kabayan. I liked the intention:)

[Ency Bearis]

Thnaks Marriane M for your comments, and I appreciate it. I agree with your opinion with regards to the poverty there in the Philippine and I admire now the present administration doing well with the economy. I see now the Tiger of Asia is coming back. During my time or in my era - 1970 - 1980 when I was there that Tiger was killed by Corrupt Politicians we had before and the poverty was rampant at that time. It was like a cancer that was going on within our country and seems uncurable due to the administration. Maybe you had never experience that " ang mag dildil ng asin - dahil yon ang ulam namin - asin at tira ng langis na pinag adobowan, walang makain kundi at time kamote na nakuha namin sa backyard. Napakahirap noon dahil yong kaban ng bayan ay controlado ng mga pinuno ng bayan at militar during the Martial Law" So my story poem was based during that time. Now I know with the younger generation seeing different story now and thanks for objectives - tungo sa matuwid na daan - I don't believe it inthe first place for in my mind all politicians are all liar - even they promise the heaven, trying to give you the stars, which is impossible. But now I'm observing, and the news is a good news, except for there are still with those criminals, but I don't mind it for in every jungle there's always a snake " ika nga ". I'm impressed is with the change of positive economy with the present administration, I hope that Tiger or maybe that Tamarraw will rule again. Cross my finger , for I'm now planning to retire there in the Philippines. Now I think I'm exposing my age here. LOL ! You can imagine now how old am I the way I realte the story. But it's okay my mind was just stirred by your opinion and once more thanks for your honest opinion. Maraming salamat kabayan.

[Ency Bearis]

I think I had some typo error in the beginning but I can't change it - I mean - Thanks. Gurang na ata ako. LOL !

[Pax]

Wow… I like this friendly debate of sort… dearly Maryanne your as intelligent as I know you are… well what can I say about this matter… I guess your right on some point… but poverty really does holds us down for achieving great heights of what’s best for us… by poverty it makes us dream either simple thing or big achievements… I think I can agree with you that poverty is not a social cancer that for me it’s just an illness(medium) that is curable, cancer for me is a terminal illness that takes time to heal, money to cure and great faith to survived… to cure poverty starts with oneself in how you handle the struggles the country faced, after you achieved that be the inspiration the country needs…. “even simple things make big changes”… either way I can be wrong… but still a positive smile brings uplifting emotions to strive for the better…. I hope you don’t mind I intervene in this matter…

[Androglossia]

The economy here has only been improving for how long, a year? The Philippine peso has firmed up by roughly one percent versus the U.S. dollar this year from its last trading day in 2012. I can't really say the economy have gone that far and if there has been an improvement then the progression is almost unnoticeable. So I can't really consider this a major difference or a moment of recovery:) We'll just wait and see where this newly systematic propagation induced in our head is going to take us this year:)

Don't get me wrong, I came from the mountains in Mindanao and I experienced what you have experienced. I know the rare bliss of eating root crops and asin or only suka at patis, lol. Our only difference is I am the youngest of seven. I was raised by farmer parents. We relocated in the rural area when NPAs attacked our bukirin. Still, I don't consider it poverty. I consider it type of living. Living in a primeval way at kahit ngayon mas gusto ko pa rin ang ganoong buhay. Maybe it's the person's mental attitude or point of view that differ a certain situation. And in your case, dahil siguro napakamabigat ang responsibilidad na ipinasa sa 'yo especially that you were not prepared kaya siguro naapiktohan ang pananaw mo sa buhay. Ako kasi kahit anong mangyari nakikita ko pa rin yong maganda sa isang pangyayari even yong di na makita ng iba, lol. Abnormal 'ata.

About the government, wala namang bago eh. Ganyan na 'yan since the beginning of time. Even in Julius Caesar's time may corrupt na. Bakit, akala mo ba walang corrupt sa US? O sa UK? Dami, ah! Iba't iba lang sila ng approach. Yong mga tao ng gobyerno na nambubuking sa mga nangungurap, galit yon kasi nalamangan. Corruption is a universal fashion. Fashion is culture:) And it has never been into obsolescence ever. Laging uso. Trending:) Those pangakos, wag na tayong makinig do'n kasi yong magkarelasyon nga di natutupad yong pangako na dalawang tao lang yong involve ano pa kaya yong sambayanan na yong involved? Mahirap yong ganon ah, mas madali yong mangurap. Eh iisa lang yong buhay mo tapos maiksi pa, don kana sa madali, lol.

For me, life is an option as well as povery and happiness:)

[Ency Bearis]

I got you Maryanne M., I like your opinion with regards to life - it's like the song - Don't Worry Be Happy - and I like that attitude. And you're right politics is and old fashion with their odd passion and we can't change that no more and trending. I just hope the trend with the economy there will go in progress, and I know its only a year as it is going on yet I like that trend. I am Not siding with present administration but is just a positive approach what's going on. Although late from the news out from there in the Philippines with the time difference of 15 hours. Those with TFC ( The Filipino Channel) of ABS-CBN and GMA Pinoy Channel 7 we are updated what's going in there. I can sense you had this strong personality and admired you for that, and I relate it to your poems too as I read your post, a well rounded thought and astute write from your mind concept. Keep it up that pontentials of yours. Thanks and best regards.