why me

personal poem, possible TW

Don’t pity me

While I cry out

Why me.

Why did I deserve

To question my purpose

To play with my own life

Why did I deserve

To slice my flesh apart

Until I sat in pools of blood

Why did I deserve

To have my lips sealed

And painted a liar

While his beady eyes

Stared me down

And his mouth leaked with drool

Why did I deserve 

A father who lost his heart

And tried to steal mine

Why did I deserve

For my first love

To hide behind a mask

Until her body was above mine

And her claws ripped

My innocence away

While her laugh

Covered my screams for help

Why did I deserve

To be broken

Why

Do I need to be fixed

While these people

These things

Continue to exist

As they are

Why can’t I be happy

Why can’t I wake up calm

Why can’t I sleep without a nightmare

Of my Abusers crawling into my life

And ripping me away

Why can’t I read a text

And not have my mood ruined for a day

Why will I never feel like enough

Am I truly unlovable?
Am I truly good for using and not keeping?

Am I too far gone to be saved?

Am I too much?

I don’t know

I don’t know.

I don’t know…

I’m sorry my love

That you’ve been given scraps

You’ve been given a

Used

Beat up

Terrified

Abandoned

Useless

Unlovable

Disgusting

Pitiful excuse of a lover

I’m sorry I’ll never be normal

I’ll always cry when you show me love

When you respond weird

When we watch a sad or happy show

I’ll always need reassurance

That you are holding my heart

With love and care

Because I’ve built your heart a home

Within me.

I may never be perfect,

I may be broken and chipped

But I will love you with every piece of me

I will wake up and chose you

I will sleep and fight my nightmares

So I can wake up to you 

I’ll begin to bury my past

To build a future with you

I’ll fight my thoughts

So I can be what you need and more

All I ask

Is you love me just as hard

Everyday 

Author's Note

be nice pls

Reviews

[Arundass TP]

Every line reflects suffering and love. Feelings are written as question s. Good work. Life goes like this sometimes friend. Responsibility is on oneself to dig out happiness in life. How is the other question?