This is beautiful. I imagine drifting on a lonely sea while reading this. A dark, desolate, black sea of longing and despair. Wonderful fluid work.
Posted 14 Years Ago
I think the ideaa of this poem was quite beautiful, and the first two lines create a powerful image. However, I think it would've have been more moving as a freeverse poem because the cliche rhymes ruin the feeling of the piece.
as your other poems this is outstanding, I loved the six-line stanzas they flow wonderfully !! the AA,BB... style of writing suits you, I believe you should try AB,AB rhyming as well, you'd do a great job with that .
I can easily relate to it emotionally.
well done
Amazing and a very sweet poem.
I m not able to present my words, its like beautiful what i felt, everything of my fears, of my dreams, of whatever i think is there in this poem.
You stole my thoughts
heheh Just kiddin
But you showed a trueness!!!
Thanks for sharing!!!