Something is wrong

poem

Something is wrong

When you said your goodbyes
without looking me in the eyes,
my pride had to play along.
So ofcourse, something was wrong.

I wished faith could carry me away,
that by love hearts could sway,
but it wasn't where i should belong.
Something was awfully wrong.

Then It didn't matter who was who,
even when it was me and you.
I learned how to be strong
and yet something was just wrong.

Three years of doing this and that,
yet in every place i set at,
I clench when i hear our song.
Something is still wrong.

Author's Note

reviews are welcomed

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

this is so beautifully done..certainly something is wrong when its goodbye
even if i try to stand my place and take what may come
even if i stay strong and never waver,something is wrong
when i sit and think of whats past..when i hear the song
sweet music where i used to belong ,always knew something was wrong
so beautiful writing..full of sweet longing even if something was all wrong
lovely write..

[Cristal Bridges]

This kind of reminds me of the song, The Sea Angler by Faith & the Muse. It's very dark and cold but touching. It's so sad to lose someone you loved and them realize that nothing is quite the same without them. Nice piece.

[Dream Weaver]

Reminiscing of lost love can indeed
be haunting. Genuflecting to some
thing you feel went wrong. A very
solid write BB

[Art Freeman]

I can complete relate to this poem. I virtually felt every line, as if my own heart was speaking its unspoken, unanswered questions; of love, love lost, love stained, love that never went no where. I love this poem because it is now very personal to me. Thank you.

[lavina k.]

I liked this piece of your collection. A good one!!!!!!!!

[Blue tailed kite]

A very emotional poem... I can relate to this poem... everything goes on and still at the back of your mind you feel as if something is wrong... very nicely expressed, great write

[Huggy Bear]

Life is hard and you illustrate this well:) Great Job

[Senseless whatever]

Very nice write here. The gradual departure of a relationship. The feelings of something not right leading to the demise, or did it actually ever end?

[domlaw124]

Wow can relate with this piece! :) And break ups can definitely be a painful experience, even if it's left on good terms. I like how you keep repeating that something is wrong, even when in some of the lines there seems to be progression or 'hope'....
Well done :)

[*Evelen*]

I really liked how you kept repeating how wrong you felt. I could feel my heart clutch up (if that makes sense). Well done.