juliet

poem

Juliet

 

I don’t want your diamonds neither your tears.

I’m not listening to your empty words now,

Neither wanting your whispers shoved into my ears.

Don’t tell me you love me, but show me how.

 

Believe me, I don’t need to know your name.

This is not a play, I only want your soul.

Although I’m Juliet, I want you to put Romeo to shame

And perfectly play your destined role.

 

Play me a dreamy song, that warms up the air,

Share your soul and lull me magically to sleep.

Keep me safe, while silently tugging at my hair.

Make me feel like a precious jewel you want to keep.

Author's Note

reviews are welcomed.

Reviews

[alesuriko]

Your rhyme is perfect in this piece, but your rhythm is really off and doesn't flow very smoothly. I did like the parody on Romeo & Juliet though. I really dislike that play, the worst Shakespeare's ever written (and I never insult Shakespeare). The content is really good though, despite the flow. I enjoyed the imagery and the wording.

[Romeion Case]

Honest and true...Good job. :-)

[TadKent]

This is deeper than it comes off. It seems like a "romance" me poem at first, but it's more of a "try harder", or "make me feel worth it" poem. It was gorgeous, but I feel like you're holindg yourself back a little bit. let loose! ; )

This kinda felt a little flat, its beautiful and deep. But there was something lacking in it, and the frustrating part is that I can't seem to put my finger on it.

[Cristal Bridges]

Aw, I really love this! All of us somewhere are waiting for someone to come along and make us feel special and sweep us away with them. In some sense we all want someone to put Romeo to shame. I loved this poem. Great lines and great flow. The descriptions rocked as well. Awesome!

[*Evelen*]

I like this poem it was deep and beautiful. My favorite part was;
"Although I’m Juliet, I want you to put Romeo to shame"
It made me smile. Well done:)

[Legion]

Throw in a chorus and I think this would make a wonderful ballad. Kudos.

[Senseless whatever]

Very good write. Dreamy like a long lost love song. The last stanza is my favorite.

[Crowley]

Snuggle up buttercup...thats what I got from this. I loved the want to keep it simple and indulge in what we have for each other that is both natural and nurturing. I really liked this.

[Rory CJ Frankson]

********************************************************* All Star Performance ***************

The opening line is great and, what follows...? Even better, this a very sensuous write, so full of innuendos and turn of phrase. Such as this line.
[ This is not a play, I only want your soul. ]
The manner in which the references to the played are played upon.
Is an utter an total treat, to the senses.

Each separate stanza like a play in themselves staged and the word choices to expression, are excellent. I can honestly say, I loved this poem from start to finish. It pleased me greatly in so many places...
[ Make me feel like a precious jewel you want to keep. ]
This last line made the whole experience for me, complete. As the woman here, is in complete control and the demands all there. To please her. Make the whole affair, a memorable cherished, expression of love. Awesome...

************* The curtain comes down ******** To resounding Applause ************

Romon in Review, 19/06/10, 6:33am. Quesnel BC Canada Write On / Right On Ro...