Hatred and Pride

poem

Hatred and Pride

 

Flaming eyes, a rising revulsion,

Feels like vomit aching my throat.

Burning breath through narrow sky,

Closing in and scorching my lungs.

 

Dark memories, calling out

To a pillar of hatred;

A grip holding up my heart,

Exalted above the flames.

 

Black lava tears, boiling my skin,

Pouring into my veins and sizzling.

My trembling lips, refusing to scream,

They swallow the pain inside.

 

Piercing eyes are flashing a newborn anger.

Their pictures are burnt to ashes,

For one day, they shall return to earth,

Suffer and burn slowly in silence.

Author's Note

reviews are welcomed~

Reviews

[José Humilde]

Fantastic imagery. I would have to say my favorite part is about the black lava tears. I don't know if that is mean't to be mascara (ruining of the make-up when you cry) but that's how I took it. I lived it, and found it fresh! :)

Hatred and Pride are two very intense feelings!

Thanks for sharing!

-JH

[KatiePie]

This is beautiful, the flow is very unique, but still passionate. I love it! :)
Your very talented ^.^ Keep writing!
-Cathrine

[Dutch Jr.]

A lot of references to heat in this piece; I like seeing recurring themes in a poem, and heat is a good metaphor for the emotions you so vividly describe here. Great job.

[Iota]

so descriptive that the feelings in it come to life. I feel feelings are the hardest thing to describe in words as words are so limited in comprising to a feeling or emotion. Hatred and Pride is a ride that is hard to get off of. Nice work, loved it.

[Cristal Bridges]

I love this!!! I love the tone and the descriptions! They really bring a sting to the skin adn that's fantastic. It's tangable. Awesome!

[Kanattas Atir Enomo]

this was a great piece. ful of passion and emotion. dom is right. the thride stanza is the best. really great imagery and detail. great meaning and overall good job.

[Mauricio Montoya]

Hate we keep inside will eat us live, but pride keeps us from making amends to the problem. At least that’s what I get from this piece. Great job.

[Ashley.M.E]

I really like it o.o I myself can't find a great meaning other then well maybe her dying, but I like it alot.
I love your word choices it blended togeither so well

[Dom Macchiaroli]

The third bit's the best. Very descriptive and succinct. Good job.

Black lava tears sound like quite a treat to lick off the face of a tortured soul. I can imagine them tasting of sulfur after the burn wears off. The feeling of hatred is well expressed. It is something that turns you into a volcano itching to erupt and destroy everything around you. Your words scream of frustration.

[deeps]

Black lava tears, boiling my skin,
Pouring into my veins and sizzling.
My trembling lips, refusing to scream,
They swallow the pain inside.

Awesome lines here, This is amazing and so well expressed.
I like this write. Wonderful write!