Dimples

magical smile

Dimples

 

My heart jumps up and down

At the sight of your dimples,

Then I remember my hair is brown

And I’ve got many freckles.

 

I am a princess wearing a crown,

When my puppy love tickles,

Then I wake up and frown.

My reality smells like pickles.

 

I look at the pieces of my shredded gown;

Reality cuts my dream with sickles,

Since it just cannot let me drown

By my own daydreaming scribbles.

 

Author's Note

reviews are welcomed. enjoy reading.

Reviews

[Jeff Bresee]

A fun one to read. Nice job.

[AtticusBlack]

Like how the "own" rhyme is kept throughout. I find your first stanza too relatable! I find I fall for someone and in my head, because I think they're perfect, I imagine I'm perfect when I'm far from it. Reality does often ruin dreams, you're too right. Sad, but good write.

[AJChallenger]

This seems to go out of the way to rhyme, not caring to make sense of what's atually being written.

[jeff hackworth]

i suggest better rhyming, but i don't like limericks much

[Coyote Poetry]

We can see great thing in our mind. I like this poem. Myself I believe freckle are mighty pretty. As a young man. Red hair and freckle were my preference in a woman. I like the middle of the poem the best. The poem made me smile and the ending was perfect.
Coyote

[Ross Saunders]

Not bad, although I think you could have done more with they rhyme scheme and structure here. Still an excellent poem, I just think there could have been a bit more to it.