Lemon

bittersweet flavour of life

Lemon

Since life kissed me on the lips,

it showed me the sweet taste of bitterness.

My sun went through an eclipse,

letting stars show the way to happiness.

 

Time knocked on the door, no hello.

It told me about the taste of goodbye,

saying hey, lemons are always yellow;

you have to taste to know the reason why.

 

It is the bittersweet flavor of life,

fresh, within my heart mesmerizing.

So splendidly Full of serenity and strife.

It is either devastating or tranquilizing.

 

Author's Note

hi, so here's a new poem by me. I would appreciate constructive feedbacks. :)
enjoy reading.

Reviews

[Patches I'm not so new..]

I think your choice of words is a bit mixed there is no way that a lemon is sweet even a little so there is no bitter-sweetness lemons are at best tart, and at worse sour I think I see what you are trying to say but it is very obscure

[Su' Nacnetaf]

I didn't see much relationship (or didn't understand it) between a Lemon and this poem, yet I enjoyed reading this. Great writing.

Your poems have an odd beauty to them. It took my mind some precious seconds to quiet down to realize it.
Very good structure, and adequate rhyming! Nice!

[Holly]

there is something different about this poem than a couple others I read but did not review of yours. Even though it rhymes it has a gentle flow and is not harsh like blue and you but rather you mixed it up a little bit and with your creativity I am impressed.

[Steve]

very thoughtful... I like the line..."It is the bittersweet flavor of life"

[PhantomDancer]

Awesome! I loved your use of colour in this poem. Very sensual, and one of the best I've read for a long time.

[J. Alexis Balaguer]

Simple--that's what I like best! Your metaphor to life is solely concise.
Life is bittersweet, for sure.

My favorite lines:
Since life kissed me on the lips
It showed me the sweet taste of bitterness

Sweet taste of bitterness---clever opposition!

I truly enjoyed this!
Keep writing,
Alex

[AJChallenger]

I would add periods and commas to control flow. Without them you're not supposed to stop at the end of the line, thus making your rhyme without purpose. If you add them, though, if makes the poem much better.

This was a good little piece, though, just needs some polish.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Very wise words in a very creative metaphor... sometimes we have to go through heartache to truly appreciate love. Very nice... certainly one of your best.

[Manda]

awww i just loved this! well done!