About to break

seeing through

About to break

This wintry shiver

Runs down my spine
So cry me a river
With tears of mine.

My flesh is naked
No skin to shelter me
I can no longer make it
I can’t hide or flee.

You're about to break
I see through you
still standing and awake
in a shade of calm blue.

So please don’t hover
put your mind on the line
erase my pain forever
with your pale sunshine.

Author's Note

hey :]
its been a while for me since i wrote anything
Sooo what do you think?

Reviews

[Constance-Outspoken]

I think you've edited this a little since I first read it? And I like it more now. This is my favorite of what I've read of your work so far. Nice write.
The third stanza is my favorite. I wish there were more. :)

[Satellite Heart]

that was amazing. Dude you are an awesome writer. I loved loved loved it!!

[*Evelen*]

Wow this is really good =) I love it! Well done=)

[deeps]

I really enjoyed this well written emotional write.

[Taylor H.]

I liekd it. It was short and i would like to see this longer but its great just the way it is :)

[Undying Glory]

aww sweet! just love this! it's really good

[Perfect Imperfection]

Thats really cool, I like how each line relates to the one before, but still opens up a world of possibilities. I found it a little confusing, but that's just me, I could tell that it had a lot of emotion packed into it, which was great. I really liked it. :-)

[Manda]

AWWW this is great! very emotional but very well written! great job!

[An owl on the moon]

From the chill of winter there seems to come such a tender beauty... Your words bring about a depth of emotion and vivid color, as someone comes to bring the light into your life once more. Excellent write.

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the description and the story. Last line put me off balance. with your pale sunshine. Poem is good. You made me think this morning.
Coyote