Time heals

poem

Time heals

I dance under the rain
Like a kid once again
Raindrops stop so suddenly
So time heals occasionally

Don't forget a love you lived
Even if your feelings are mixed
If thorns hurt you by remembrance
Then roses gave you a beautiful fragrance

Look at the bond between your eyes
They sleep & cry together through the times
Although they never ever meet
Somehow together they are complete

That should always be you and I
Dont believe your delusional lie
Time heals broken hearts
And now our new beginning starts

Author's Note

reviews are welcomed~

Reviews

[deeps]

This is a beuatiful write here. Full od hope and love just like coyote poetry said.

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful poem of love and hope. The poem was gentle and kind. Ending was perfect. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Samuel Ferris]

wow, just ignore the rest of typos i made.

[Samuel Ferris]

ha, mary oliver *won*

[Samuel Ferris]

Mary Oliver - August
When the blackberries hang
swollen in the woods, in the brambles
nobody owns, I spend

all day among the high
branches, reaching
my ripped arms, thinking

of nothing, cramming
the black honey of summer
into my mouth; all day my body

accepts what it is. In the dark
creeks that run by there is
this thick paw of my life darting among

the black bells, the leaves; there is
this happy tongue.


the best way to learn how to write good poetry is to read a lot of it, and spend time analyzing why it is good. Mary Oliver one the pulitzer for the collection that this from. Analyze her use of figurative language. A good metaphor is like a good melody, it catches instantly, and remain persistently in your memory. It evokes a mood adds color. Most people dont have synesthesia, but our minds do at some level intermingle the sense. Different words have different "colors" and different melodies. Everything on the page should be in harmony. Try modeling Olivers use of figurative language and her meter. Notice how she breaks the syntatic units(enjambment). What effect does this have on the color of the feel of poem?

It's been years since I lost my grandfather, yet still I tear up every time I think about him. Time does heal but It takes more time for some people...
Nice poem overall. Good ryming and structure.

Only errors I found were that you spelled "together" and "beginning" wrong.
Very good rhyming, it doesn't seem forced.

[DeadlySoul]

Good poem, I loved it and yes time does heal things

[ZaZa]

Wow. This is beautifully written. I love the imagery in this piece. It's like I can picture everything in my head. This poem also has a lot of truth to it. Very well written. I enjoyed it very much. Thanks for sharing.

[Leaner Pastures]

You capture an age old truth very well - I think the first stanza could stand all on it's own. Your diction get's a little choppy in the last two stanza's, but you still manage to get your point your across without it sounding forced. I like it.