A soul in my eyes

poem

A soul in my eyes

I hate it when you eat my flesh alive,
and overlook the soul in my eyes.
It is the worst feeling; I barely survive,
while you cover it up with lies.

I fall a thousand times yet I stand strong,
In the face of your pretentious force.
Although I forgive, forget and play along,
I still wish you would show me remorse.

That charm of your beautiful face,
and those fangs that lie within.
Stabbed me in the back with no trace,
Sucked my blood and I almost gave in.

My wounds are open, but I feel them no more,
and a trembling sensation runs through my bones.
Words are on the way out, although my throat is sore,
and on my way to retrieve what my soul essentially owns.

Author's Note

so tell me what you think?

Reviews

[Corey Bowen]

wow very nice...when i read it im picturing a scene of a vampire stucking almost every bit of blood out of u....but what u really are saying is that you have fallin for someones lies and looks and that u almost fell for them and all u want is honest and the truth...very strong like it

[apocalypse]

I think it's a good write. Heavy words..painting an even heavier dark picture of a morose feeling. And the fact that the intended feeling came through means it's good piece of writing.

[ebur™]

i thought this was a really deep poem with so much emotion, like i've heard alot of poems about this, but you described this is a more real attitude. the style that you wrote it in is unique and alot of the phrases that you put into this are very imaginative. wonderful job.

[cecil]

deeply sad along with dark metaphors that the reader has so much in comparison to relate too,richly written and in my opinion has style and a flow that shows talent and much more,,,Blessings..Cecil

[Iota]

Stay strong and keep those wounds healing. This was sad but also very heartfelt. Nice job.

[deeps]

Whoa! This is quite the write here i liked this write alot. Such powerful words and emotions in this. Very well written.