Dripping clock

 

Watching the clock

the pendulum sways

passage of time

has nothing to say

empty night sky

no stars twinkle gleam

sun leaves the world

no light filled stream

dark eerie ocean

bereft of all life

forest of charcoal

a sheath minus knife

glass without whisky

skin with no pores

mind lost of memories

beach mislaid shores

heart bleeding grief

fingers that burn

no more my lover

no more grave turn.

Reviews

[Edmond Dantes]

pretty sweetly written i must say--good job to you--the other two i did not like nearly as much as this. keep it up woman! thanks for sharing-- email me tell me what's up.

[Murphy]

Oh wow... this is excellent... has a curious feel to it. Does that make sense? Feels a bit mysterious to me, drawing me back for a second read. I love the imagery... dark eerie ocean, forest of charcoal (my favorite), sheath minus knife, glass without whiskey (with an 'e'... *wink*) lol... skin with no pores... excellent, thoroughly enjoyed this.

[Thomas James Martin]

Enjoyed this poem with its great imagery and cadence.
Tom

[Michelle Tarnowski]

Well done. It has a melodic cadence and a sense of despair. I love the choice of Dali's clock.

[Colleen C Dunphy]

This is such a great write. The flow is perfect, as is the imagery and the wording. This is going into my favorites.

Thanks for sharing!
Lee

[Windy]

Great write emz, Great flow, rhyme, imagery and thought. Just reading this made me shudder. It brought out all of the dark, negative things we sometimes feel. "heart bleeding grief" I dont' even know what to say. ..

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Oh my what a wonderfully done piece... it really did flow with great rhythm and yet you still capture the lonely feeling of someone waiting for time to heal the wounds of a broken heart.

[Jessica Benfield]

wow... the flow to this is amazing - all adds to the feel of the time ticking past. amazing, and the clock picture was a very nice touch! i especially loved the last two lines. nice work!
smiles,
jess

[Ralphy]

This is a wonderful write. It has many twiist and turn in time and the title was wildly clever. I loved the closing ...

No more my lover
No more grave turns

nice write

[Janice Ann]

This was fantastic....normally I think rhyming is a little tricky and sometime childish. But man did you prove me wrong here...I loved this! It is going to my favorites...
My favorite lines are
"a sheath minus knife
glass without whiskey
skin with no pores
mind lost of memories"

Great work my friend...the concept is wonderful and so are the words and images...

Loved It!
Janice Ann