I can feel

 

I think

because i can,

never will you tell me

how my thoughts

should be thought

trying to stifle my energy

with your vile poisonous

mind.

I feel

as is my right

you can't ever

interfere with my emotions

feeding my vunlerable heart

with your vicious tongue

I wish

like i did when i

was young

wishing for simple things

like snow in winter

or caterpillars to turn into

butterflys and not moths

simple wishes

that i couldn't have

with your controling hands

I hope

because now i am free

free to live

the way i want

to love

to play and

to sleep easy

without lying at night

with demons

dancing around the shadows

I laugh

like i am free falling

from the galaxy

floating in mid air with

nothing but my pure

untouched mind,

never will i

fall

like i did when

i was falling

with you

 

Reviews

[Edward Carr]

Powerful poem. Some good lines.



like i did when i

was young

wishing for simple things

like snow in winter

or caterpillars to turn into

butterflys and not moths

simple wishes

that i couldn't have

with your controling hands



These are strong lines because of the descriptive imagery.


without lying at night

with demons

dancing around the shadows

I laugh

like i am free falling

this is also good description but galaxy is an interesting noun, its not necessarily abstract or concrete, however the milky way I can see better, that might be a better few words. I feel the poem needs some more concrete sense imagery like the above lines for iot to be publishable, but some revision with that in mind and this poem could be even more powerful as the message in it truly is.

[Lily1111]

There is a wonderful sentiment of freedom actually, it feels more like liberation from someone's control, that flows from this poem. As if a discovery has been made that no matter how loved the person was, the need to be true to oneself was loved more, and I really liked that about this poem.

[Windy]

I really like how this reads. It has so much feeling, from anger to joy, pulls out hate and joy, laughter and tears. Good job as usualy. :)

[Vanessa P]

The sweet sound of Independence. Thank you for sharing. I feel like I can relate. It's like throughout our youth we've been told how to speak, think and feel. Now as adults, we've gained our rights to express ourselves as we see fit. It's just up to us to use the freedom wisely and properly.

[Ray Hamilton]

We are only in this world a short time
Live every day to the fullest
I enjoyed this write Ray { Not a Poet }

[Ralphy]

Beautifully flowing poem that expresses feelings deeply wound and suddenly released...oh such music...nicely written

[Edmond Dantes]

really wicked poem, the cadence to it, while i was reading it--captured me, deep & clean throughout, --little free verse for you, its good!

[darkgurl]

Can feel the hunger in this, very well written.