Old movies

 

 

Sitting on the platform, of this dirty, rundown station,

i close my eyes and play my old memories inside my head,

I'm older, wiser now with much more patience,

There will be no more tears left to shed.

 

My memories float before me like an old movie,

I smile but my lips do not move,

I open my eyes and the dull smokey air fills my lungs,

I look to the side and see a wonderful image of love.

 

I allow one last teardrop to fall,

A man hands me a clean white tissue,

I wipe the salty droplet and face the wall,

I reapply ruby red lipstick, a touch of fragrance too.

 

The train approaches, the whistle blows,

I rise to my feet, and board onto my new life,

A new chapter a new scene a new show,

Leaving all my memories behind me, no longer a mother or a wife.

Reviews

[Rob Taylor]

I like this. There is a longer story there if you let your mind look deeply into the script this movie was produced from. I can see the ruby red lipstick being slowly, with care applied. A tissue pressed between fresh coated lips to kiss the excess away. The, maybe a raspberry like whisp of aroma, floats it's way along on a slight breeze and others who may be present enjoy the momentary sweetness from a woman refreshing her presense Very good job EMZ.

[Janice Ann]

I can see this and me watching it like a movie. But I feel heartbroken and I want to know the story behind you leaving a "movie" where you were wife and mother! Wonderfully unique and beautifully written!
Janice Ann

[Lily1111]

I like the way the scenes of this poem flickered in the mind, just like an old movie giving it a very appropriate title. It left me with a bit of lingering sadness.

[MarchAprilMayJuneJuly]

wow.... it so sad but in a good way.. i loved how you kept a steady flow throughout the whole thing.....

nice job!!

~may

[A Lost Man Found]

sniffle.. sniffle... makes me want to cry the emotion is amazing.

[Vanessa P]

This piece has such maturity, class and grace. I've enjoyed the read.

I love this part:

I allow one last teardrop to fall,
A man hands me a clean white tissue,
I wipe the salty droplet and face the wall,
I reapply ruby red lipstick, a touch of fragrance too.

Such a typical classy woman not to forget to touch up after letting out a lil cry

[Crimson1]

Portraying your memories as an old movie encapsulates a certain sense of nostalgia which is a really difficult thing to express through any medium, so kudos. It reminds me of the last scene in Casablanca.

[Windy]

emz, this is a superb write. the flow, the imagery, everything. it is so sad, though sometimes that is how life is. the picture works perfectly with the poem as well. really great job. congrats ;)

[Edward Carr]

Much better poem, much like your haikus. Excellent use of descriptive vivid sense imagery. Your poem is loaded with it, like "Salty droplet" etc etc. Nice slow rhythm to kind of set up the sad heartreak tone. Your line endings could be different but that might be a little picky. Onlly one thing that absolutely must change, and that is "I am older,wiser now" That is too cliche. Avoid cliche at all costs. This is almost a publishable poem. Check pout winningwriters.com for contests. It six bucks quarterly. You are getting good enough to enter and win contests. I would work on your line endings though, but the rhythm for this poem works, it is kept slow and as such helps me feel the sadness of the broken heart. Always read the ggreat contemporary poets for help. :) Very good poem though.

[Nicholas Hallows]

I love the idea of memories as old movies.
Reminds me of a Carol Anne Duffy poem 'Big Sue': 'The TV set an empty head which has the same recurring dream'... although that poem's more about escapism than memories.
'I allow one last teardrop to fall' suggests that everything is in the narrators hands now and under her control.
Very fitting as a new life is undertaken.
Very good write!