Chapter One

~We all have two lives. The one we are given and the one we create- Mary Chapin Carpenter

 

A soft tugging at Cadence Nhile’s sleeve snapped her transfixed gaze from the man who stood across the street, talking to a blushing women who giggled flirtatiously as he grazed her arm with his fingertips.

“Mo-om.” The tugging persisted and she forced her eyes away to look down at her impatient daughter. Kaylie’s eyes were wide with anticipation, her eyebrows furrowed annoyed. Cadence looked at her blankly and she rolled her eyes, “we’re going to be late.” She groaned, urging her forward.

She glanced back across the road one last time at the pair who was now leaning against the building behind them, their fingers intertwined. She sighed softly, ah, young love.

 

“Seriously!” Cadence redirected her focus to her daughter who was looking to her mother with a raised eyebrow, “c’mon, you can people watch when we get there.” She tugged on her arm until she fell in step along with her on the sidewalk.

“I was not people watching.” Cadence insisted, although she knew that’s exactly what she had been doing. Ever since her husband left them Cadence couldn’t help but get lost in the behaviour of couples; it was as if she was looking to see what real love looked like- if what her and her husband had wasn’t the real thing- then she was curious to know what it really was, if such a thing existed.

 

“Never mind, I see the field.” Kaylie said as they turned down a path that lead to the local park. Even before they came close to the carefully maintained grass they could hear the collaborated voices of cheering families and friends as they encouraged the players with incoherent tips to move the game in their favour.

 

“See, I told you we would be late.” Kaylie whined as she manoeuvred her way through the crowded bleachers with her mother trailing behind. Cadence scanned the soccer field, squinting past the bright sun to read the jersey numbers without much success.

“Do you see him Kay?” She asked as they found a less crowded section of bench.

Her daughter searched the always moving players, concentrating until she nearly jumped from her seat. “There! He’s over there! See? Number twenty three.”

          Cadence shielded her hand over her eyes like a visor so she could see past the harsh sun and followed her daughters pointed finger over to a lean boy running up left field. The sun shone off his sandy hair that was damp from sweat and scruffy from hard play, his legs pumped him forward with seeming ease, his feet bouncing off the ground almost as soon as they made contact.

            “Go Jaydon go!” Kaylie hooted beside her, cheering on her older brother.

          “What’s the score?” Cadence asked, her heart pounding hard in her chest as her son stole control over the ball.

          “Two- three...” Kaylie paused, looking to the score board and scowling, “for the black hawks.” Cadence frowned and let her eyes follow the ball as Jaydon passed it up the field to one of his open players. A boy from the other team tripped the player and the ref blew the whistle.

 

          “Geeze, for twelve year olds they play pretty dirty.” She mumbled under her breath, mother worry taking over.

          “That’s the fun in it mom.” Kaylie grinned, turning her eager eyes back to the playing field.

          “Just as long as it’s not my son that gets hurt.” She winced at the thought of seeing Jaydon lying on the field, clutching a broken leg or twisted knee.

 

          Cadence glanced beside her at Kaylie; a spitting image of her father. She had long, dark, curly hair in contrast to a pair of always shining, bright, blue eyes. Her mouth was her mother’s; full lips that made the both of them look permanently pouty until that slow smile spread across their faces, lighting up their eyes.

 

          She was tall for her age, inheriting her father’s long legs while her son took more after her; still quite tall as well but with a longer torso which made him look more lean. He was an athletic child interested in anything that pushed his physical boundaries but he was also a fearful child. He used his head too much to enjoy boyish activities; if his friends would dare him to jump off of a bridge into a still bed of water below, he wouldn’t- to her utmost relief- instead he would sit at the edge, contentedly dangling his feet over the side and watch his friends one by one, leap hooting into the air and plunge into the unknown water below.

 

          Kaylie was much different; she was the more daring of the two, always looking for a thrill even though she very well knew the risks and repercussions of her stunts. She had always wanted to do as many sports as her brother could, maybe even more, and they had tried when she was younger but her health just wouldn’t grant her the luxury of being a normal, active kid.

 

          “We scored! We scored!” Kaylie shouted beside her mother, pulling her from her busy mind. Cadence looked up to see a few of the players on Jaydon’s team high-fiving and pumping their fists in the air. “It’s tied now mom, maybe we can win it.” Her eyes gleamed with excitement as she leaned forward on the bench, her foot twitching each time someone took a shot at the net. In her mind, she knew, she was as much on the field as her brother.

 

          “Are you kidding?” Candence said finally, “maybe we can win it... we will win it.” she corrected and Kaylie’s bright grin matched her own.

 

The heat of the sun boring down on them sank into Cadence’s olive skin and she dreaded the sunburn that was inevitably going to form by the end of the game. A cool breeze swayed gently across the bleachers bringing a soft relief along with it and she suddenly wished she had remembered to bring their water bottles. All around them people wiped at their glistening foreheads, shook out the front of their shirts to fan their hot chests, shifted on the benches uncomfortably as they checked their watches, wishing the game would end so they could retreat back into their air conditioned homes.

 

Small children maybe five or six years of age giggled as they ran around between the field line and the bleachers, carrying dripping popsicles that covered their hands with sticky colours. There were a few fold out chairs set out along the fields edge, a couple small coolers just off to the side of some of them.  Two benches sat on either side of the field perpendicular to one another that held the bored soccer players who had not yet had a chance to play and the ones who were pouring cool water over their heads after a tiring second period. The sun would be setting by the end of the game, the air cooling for our long walk home.

 

“Excuse me?” Cadence heard in an unexpected very slight hint of an accent. She looked up to see a man between thirty and thirty five years of age, he had scruffy, charcoal hair, dark chocolate eyes that held gentleness in them.

“Yes?” She asked, putting an arm instinctively around Kaylie who just groaned in response.

“Is this seat taken?” He asked gesturing to a bare section of bench to her right and she shook her head, turning her attention back to the game.

 

          Jaydon was on the bench now, taking his turn to rest and he turned his head to scan the bleachers, squinting up at them. A big smile broke on his face when he spotted his family and he waved enthusiastically; one of the only kids his age that wasn’t embarrassed to show his love and they waved back proudly.

 

          “That your son?” The man beside them asked nodding at Jaydon. Cadence bobbed her head without turning to face him. “He’s a fine player.”

          “Thank you.” She said, looking to her son once again.

         

“Do you play soccer?” He asked, looking around her at Kaylie, who glanced up at her mother before answering.

          “I can’t.” She said in a quiet voice, frowning.

          He looked from Kaylie to her mom curiously, then back again, “you don’t know how?”

          Kaylie snorted, “Of course I know how.” She said as if his question was absurd.

          “She can’t because she has a-“

          “Mo-om!” Kaylie interrupted with wide eyes, “you don’t have to tell everyone everything!” She rolled her eyes and Cadence looked to the man beside her, shrugging apologetically.

          “I think I may have over stepped my boundaries.” He said more to Kaylie then to her, but she ignored him, her serious eyes focused solely on the soccer game.

“No, I think I did.” Cadence said solemnly.

 

“I’m Quilan Emmet.” He offered his hand and she hesitated but politely took it.

“Cadence Nhile. This is Kaylie, and my son out there is Jaydon.”

“Nice to meet you.”

Cadence paused, “Quilain. I’ve never heard of that name before.”

He laughed lightly, “It’s Irish, that’s where I was born. Everyone calls me by my middle name; Mickey.” She felt herself blush slightly; that’s what his accent was, it held a slight Irish inflection that she wasn’t sure how she could have missed earlier.

 

“Well it’s a nice name.” She said a little too fake, she wasn’t much good at small talk anymore. “Which one’s yours?” she asked, nodding to the field of sweating boys.

He looked to the field puzzled for a moment but then clued in to what she meant, “Oh, no. I don’t have any kids.”

Cadence raised an eyebrow, “just like to watch armature sports?” she said sarcastically and it was his turn to blush.

“The coach is my brother, I come to help gather all the gear, set everything up, help out if he needs it, you know, that kind of thing.”

She smiled softly, “Ah, so you’re like the coaches assistant.”

Mickey laughed, “Yeah I guess that’s what you could call it.”

 

“Go Jaydon!” Kaylie shrieked from beside her and Cadence jumped startled. She turned her eyes to the field, spotting her son barrelling toward the opposing net dribbling the ball between his feet.

 

 He passed the ball up to the right as a couple of opposing players swarmed him and hurtled forward as they watched the ball. Jaydon weaved off to the left side as his teammate with the ball approached the net on the right. The player faked like he was going to shoot but passed the ball to Jaydon to the goalies surprise and her son kicked the ball hard into the top corner of the net before the goalie had a chance to run to the other side to block it.

 

They all jumped to their feet cheering as the players all high-fived again, filled with even more energy now.

“He scored!” Kaylie cried, “he did it mom!” She wrapped her arm around Kaylie’s slender shoulders and squeezed before the game returned to motion.

“Looks like your son just pushed his team in the lead.” Quilain observed, “that might have been the winning goal right there.”

She smiled, proud of her little boy, “looks like we’re going for ice cream afterward.” She said trying to keep the pinched look out of her face. “But there’s still one more period.” In her head Cadence budgeted out whatever was left of their money; she was already late with the rent payment, their groceries were running low and some of the kids’ clothes were almost beyond capability of repair. Ice cream would cost two fifty each if they got a one scoop, three fifty if they got two. She sighed, another fifteen if they had to take a cab home, hoping Kaylie could endure the walk.

 

“Is something wrong mom?” Kaylie asked concerned, and she smiled down at her.

“Of course not ma beauté.” Cadence said softly, not sure if she bought it or not.

“Is that French?” Quilain asked and she was ashamed that she had almost forgotten he was beside her at all.

“It means ‘my lovely’ or ‘my beauty.’” Kaylie spoke up proudly, “It’s what she always calls me.”She beamed.

 

Cadence smiled, “My parents were both from Quebec so I grew up with the language.”

“We know it too.” Kaylie bragged, “Mom has been teaching us since we were babies.”

Quilain raised his eyebrows, “is that so?”

“I always thought the diversity would be good for the kids.” she admitted.

“I think it’s great,” he turned his attention to Kaylie, “maybe you can show me sometime.”

          The ten year old girl grinned, “J'ai le plaisir.” She paused, “my pleasure.”

          An echo of boos poured out and around us as a player from the other team scored on their net, tying it once again.

          “Well, I guess I should go down and help my brother, the period’s almost over.” He climbed to his feet, “nice meeting you Cadence, Kaylie, I’m looking forward to hearing more from you.” He winked at her before carefully descending the bleachers and turned back once he reached the bottom, “see you next week.”

            The moment he turned his back Kaylie leaned toward her mother, “I like him.” She said matter-of-factly.

          Cadence laughed, “He’s too old for you sweetie.” she teased.

          Kaylie rolled her eyes, “ha ha mom.”She said sarcastically.

          “Let’s get down there so we can meet your brother as he gets off the field.” she said, patting Kaylie on the leg and getting to her feet. The two of them squeezed their way past spectators who struggled to see the game around them, whispering apologies as they blocked their views.

 

          The period was just ending as they reached the bottom and they waited while the teams shook hands with one another in an act of sportsmanship and hurried over to their own sides once again. Jaydon scooped up his water bottle and poured some of it over his head as he walked in their direction.

          “Good job out there Jay.” His coach praised and he nodded in acknowledgement before finally reaching his family.

 

          “That was an impressive goal.” Cadence crooned, wrapping an arm around each of her children, leading them away from the field.

          “We may have tied,” he said after taking a swig of his water, “but we sure gave them a run for their money.”

          “You guys played very well today.” she agreed.

          Her son stopped walking and rubbed at the backs of his calves, “can we take a cab today?” He asked, wincing as he touched the sore muscle.

          Cadence’s shoulders slumped and she turned to Kaylie, “how are you feeling?”

          She shrugged, “I’m okay to walk.”

 

          She looked back to her son who was panting out of breath, “I wish I could Jaydon, but I just can’t afford it right now.” His eyes looked exhausted and her heart dropped to her stomach. She wished she could offer such simple luxuries for her children, have a car to bring them to and from school, a car so they didn’t have to help her lug heavy bags of groceries across half the city, money to afford to take them places here and there, to be able to take them for ice cream once in a while.

 

          Cadence sighed looking at her children, “alright. We can take a cab.”

          Jaydon stood up, “it’s okay mom. We don’t have to.” He forced out a weak smile that she saw right through, God bless him. She didn’t want them to worry about things like that.

          “No, it’s not okay.” She rummaged through her pockets for a quarter to call a cab. Finding one, they hurried to the corner phone booth and she stuck her only quarter into the change slot. She picked up the grimy receiver, wiping it off using the bottom of her t-shirt before holding it to her ear but there was still nothing.

 

          “Its fifty cents now mom.” Kaylie spoke softly and Cadence rest her head against the wall of the phone booth.

          “Fifty cents.” She repeated. “Okay, that’s fine; we’ll just stand on the sidewalk and call out for one.” she couldn’t help but see the look that exchanged between her two children.

          “Mom really, its fine. My legs feel a lot better.”

          They left the phone booth and stood at the edge of the road as Cadence held her hand out to call any passing cabs.

 

          “Did you need a ride somewhere?” A voice spoke from behind them. Cadence turned and was surprised to see Quilain standing there, a set of car keys dangling from his finger.

          “Yes!” Kaylie squealed, “We don’t have to walk now mom, and you don’t need to spend money on a cab.”

Cadence looked to Quilain sceptically, then to the pleading eyes of both her children, “I don’t know...”

          “Awe, c’mon mom.” Kaylie begged.

          “C’mon, my car’s this way.” Quilain said, making the decision for her. The kids bounced ahead happily and Cadence followed shaking her head.

 

          The car ride consisted of more praise for Jaydon’s playing and the typical bickering between the two kids about whose turn it was to wash the dishes and who had to dry tonight.

 

“Thank you so much.” she said gratefully as they pulled up to their small apartment building.“I wish I could return the favour.” The kids bounded out of the car, calling out their thanks as they ran up to the large glass door. The building was a bland shade of grey, three stories high with only six apartments on each floor, it was small, often smelt of must and was home to people with little or no money but it was theirs.

         

“How about you agree to go out for dinner with me.” He said, looking at her with his gentle eyes.

          Cadence nearly choked on her spit in surprise, “dinner?”

          “Yeah, you eat right?” he grinned.

          She could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks; the words sticking to her tongue like molasses, “um. I- ah.” She glanced at the door as her kids hurried inside.

          “Hey, what do you have to lose? If nothing, you get a free dinner out of the night.”

          Cadence tried to clear her thoughts, what would her kids think? “I’m sorry.” She began, “I don’t think that would be a good idea.” She blushed embarrassed.

He smiled knowingly, “its okay, you’re allowed to say no.”

She nodded but couldn’t help but feel ashamed for declining. Was that normal? To feel ashamed? It was after all her decision; she had every right to say no. Didn’t she? She smiled apologetically, “I’m sorry, it’s nothing personal, really.”

 He shrugged as Cadence unbuckled her seatbelt, “Like I said, it’s not a big deal; I’ll see you next week at the soccer game.” He flashed a boyish grin, those eyes were so soft. “I only asked because I don’t know too many people from around here other than my brother and his wife.” He lowered his voice, “and between you and me, they can be a bore.” He winked and she smiled weakly.

 

He seemed like a nice man, an honest man and if it had been another time she probably would have agreed. But, she had two children to consider and they always took first priority.

 

“Well maybe some other time.” She paused, “rain check?”

He nodded, “I’ll hold you to it.”

Cadence thanked him again and climbed out of the car. She began heading up the driveway until she whirled on her heels in a sudden moment of spontaneity and called out across the foot of space that separated us. “Just dinner?” She asked, “As acquaintances?”

Quilan shook his head, “As friends.” Then added, “I hope.”

 

Cadence drew in a deep breath, “Okay.” She mumbled hesitantly before she had the chance to think things through.

          “Yeah?” He asked, confirming.

 She nodded, “Okay.”