Chapter thirteen

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

 

“Cheerfulness, it would appear, is a matter which depends fully as much on the state of things within as on the state of things without and around us.” Charlotte Bronte, Sherley.

 

“You have been making substantial progress lately Quinn.” Pearson cleared his hoarse throat, “I was thinking about cutting our sessions down. Let’s say we meet once every two weeks instead of one? Sound good to you?”

I nodded weakly, half listening to the doctor, half absorbed into my own busy mind. Austin hadn’t gotten over my rejection like I thought he would, he refused to answer my phone calls, wouldn’t even answer when I showed up at his apartment.

 

“Good. Have you been taking the medication I prescribed to help you sleep?”

I Shook my head, “I’m sleeping fine now. I don’t think I need them.” I pulled the sleeves of my jacket over my cold hands.

“Oh? I’m glad to hear that. Have you been having any nightmares about the accident recently?”

I shifted my weight uncomfortably, “No. I’ve been fine, no bad dreams.” I lied.

 

Pearson clapped his hands together before letting them drop to his desk top, “you know I don’t want to pressure you into talking about the fire, but I just want you to know that I do think you would benefit from getting it off your chest.”

“I frowned, “I have talked about it to people I care about. I think that’s good enough.”

“I understand and I think that is a great thing; you opening up to people around you. I also think speaking with a professional might make you feel a little better.”

“Do you really think that, or do you just want to know what happened?” I asked smugly. I wasn’t in the mood to be here today, I wanted to get out into the fresh air, I wanted to relax and try to think over what to do about Austin.

Pearson sighed, “What I want is to help you. Whether you believe that or not is to your own discretion.” He rose from his chair, “You just come in or call whenever you’re ready to talk- if you’re ready to talk alright?”

 

                       ***

 

We sat in my room with soft music flooding the background with gentle, soothing tones. The snow was melting rapidly outside with the approaching spring and the subtle smell of mud and grass was just beginning to peek through the frigid odourless winter air.

           

On my lap rested the notebook Jayce had given me for my birthday, I had just barely begun to be able to read the Braille language his words were written in and I was eager to decipher the mysterious book.

 

“Have you been practicing?” Jayce asked, leaning over to glance at the dotted pages.

I smiled softly, “I have. I’ve been working on reading this but I can only understand the odd one or two words at this point.”

“I guess the suspense continues then.” He laughed lightly and took the book from my lap, folding it closed and tossing it beside him on my bed. “But enough of that boring old thing.”

 

“Hey.” I chimed, “I was looking at that.”

 “Staring at it isn’t going to do you much good.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, “you’ll have plenty of time to figure it out Sisi.” I frowned, although a smile played at the corner of my lips; brought on by the comfort I felt with Jayce’s arm around me.

 

“So what happened the other day with Austin?” He paused, “If you don’t mind me asking that is.”

I swallowed hard, “I’m not sure.” My heart pounded hard in my chest, “well, I’m not sure what’s going on now. He won’t talk to me.”

“Seems like you guys have a love hate relationship going on.” He said casually.

I shrugged, “I always thought of him as my brother...”

“But he thought of you as more.”

I snapped my head up to Jayce, surprised at how intuitive he was. “How did you know that?”

He chuckled softly, “It’s not that hard to see Quinn. Boy’s aren’t very good at hiding their feelings.”

“It’s not?” I asked a little baffled that I hadn’t noticed anything.

Jayce laughed again, “You didn’t notice because you’re too focused on other things.”

 

I furrowed my eyebrows, “he told me he loved me.” The words sounded new to my ears although I knew they were familiar.

“And what about you?” He asked innocently, “what do you feel?”

I shrugged, “I love him. But not in the same way, I love him as my family not as a potential spouse.”

Jayce shuffled, “That wasn’t the answer he was looking for, is that why you two aren’t talking?”

I thought about my next words, I didn’t want to reveal the truth about why he was ignoring me; that it was because I was in love with Jayce. “Kind of. I don’t know; can we talk about something else?” I asked quickly as blood rushed to my cheeks.

 

Jayce laughed amused, “What’s wrong?”

My ears were hot with embarrassment even though Jayce didn’t know the thoughts I kept locked in my brain. “Nothing, I just don’t want to talk about it anymore that’s all.”

“Why are you blushing?” I could almost hear the smirk in his voice and I pushed his arm off of me annoyed.

“I’m not blushing!” I insisted, “God. You can be so frustrating sometimes.”

 

Jayce grabbed my chin in his hand, “You’re cute when you’re mad.”

I rolled my eyes irritated and pulled away, “stop doing that.”

“Stop doing what?” He asked innocently, clearly amused.

“Just... that!” I threw my arms in the air and Jayce laughed.

“Alright Sisi, I’ll stop whatever it is I am doing.”

I glared at him, “Smart a*s.”

He grabbed my chin once again and held it gently, “you are a very stubborn little lady.”

 

I opened my mouth to protest but in an instant he muffled my words with his own lips. He pressed is warm lips against mine, his skin soft and gentle. My mind told me to pull away, that this was a bad idea, but my body wouldn’t listen. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back almost unable to control my own actions.

           

Kissing Jayce did not feel foreign or wrong; it felt just the opposite- natural, safe and right. My heartbeat thrummed quickly in my chest and my stomach flooded with dozens of fluttering butterflies. Jayce removed my arms from his neck and his lips from mine in one single movement, leaving me sitting there surprised from the kiss and disappointed from the absence of another one.

 

            “I’m sorry.” He said finally, after I regained my composure. It was the first time I had heard him apologize. He must have seen the surprised look on my face and assumed I wanted no part of it.

 

I shook my head and bit my lower lip, unsure of what to make of the situation. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.” I couldn’t help but laugh, uncomfortable was the exact opposite he made me feel. “I don’t-“ He began but I cut him off with another, sudden kiss. I didn’t know what else to do; I had nothing to say, I figured this was the best way to let him know how comfortable I really was.

 

            He held the back of my neck, his hand warm, causing the hair to stand up, my own arms lay flat against his toned chest. When I finally drew my lips from his -light headed- and caught my breath the only thing I could say were the very words that had come from his own mouth.

 

            “I’m sorry.” I said those two words although I really wasn’t sorry at all and I knew he wasn’t either. What did this mean? In the span of a few weeks my life had changed drastically. I wondered what Jayce was thinking, was he regretting the kiss? Were things going to be awkward between us now? Were we still going to be friends? Suddenly I grew very nervous and my head swam. I really didn’t want to give him up as a friend; he was after all my only friend.

 

            “Was that wrong?” I asked almost afraid to hear his answer.

            “Did it feel wrong to you?” His words came out confidently.

            A lump caught in my throat, “No.”

            “Then no.” He returned his arm around my shoulder, “so, best kiss you ever had?” He laughed again, his humour was back and I was thankful for it. I rolled my eyes and shoved him.

 

            “Honey?” My mother knocked on my bedroom door, “There is a letter from Golden Eye here for you.” The door opened and I straightened myself out.

            “What’s it say?” My stomach turned with the anticipation. A seeing eye dog of my own would make things so much easier and I craved the canine companionship.

            “I haven’t read it yet.” She came in and sat across from me on my bed, “ready?” I nodded although I really wasn’t. “To Miss Quinn Leerey. We have reviewed your application for one of our fine aid dogs thoroughly and, after much consideration from many members of our faculty and specialists-“ I found myself holding my breath, awaiting the results. “-we regret to inform you that you do not meet all requirements.” The rest of the words never made it to my ears, my heart sank and I wanted nothing more than to break down and cry.

 

            “Oh, I’m so sorry honey.” My mom wrapped her arms around me, “we can always apply to other places.” She suggested trying to bring some hope to the situation.

            I shook my head, “I can’t believe this.”

            Jayce cleared his throat, “That’s true, there are plenty of other places that could have more dogs available; it might up your chances.”

            I shrugged my shoulders, “I can’t seem to get ahead.”

 My mother kissed me gently on the forehead, “Keep trying.” She stood up and silently left my bedroom, closing the door with a soft click.

 

“Great.” I mumbled under my breath.

Reviews

[Luna Northstar]

This was another 'AHHHHH!' chapter. I loved that Jaycee and Quinn kissed; I hated that she didn't get her seeing-eye dog. So, I better keep reading to find out what happens.