chapter eleven

CHAPTER ELEVEN

 

"You will profit by the failure, and will avoid it another time. I have done a similar thing myself, in construction, often. Every failure teaches a man something, if he will learn . . . " Charles Dickens, Little Dorrit

 

I woke up early; my mother was up already too. The coffee maker bubbled and hissed as it brew the bitter liquid from grounds in the kitchen. I lay on my back, tucked snugly under my warm, fluffy blankets. I was too happy to sleep for once. A week had gone by since Austin had forgiven me and we had gotten together a few times since then. Things were less awkward between us now and were steadily growing more familiar and comfortable although he and Jayce still had not yet met.

 

Finally my life was beginning to turn in my favour; I went from zero friends to two of the greatest ones I could ever ask for within a matter of weeks. I rolled to my side in an effort to possibly become comfortable enough to doze off again but after a surge of excitement planted an indomitable grin on my face I had no choice but roll out of bed. I wrapped one of my blankets around my body and shuffled out of my bedroom.

 

The moment I entered the kitchen the strong smell of caffeine greeted me with its pungent aroma. My mother was humming softly to herself a tune I didn’t recognize and I felt my way to one of the wooden armless chairs that surrounded the underused dinner table.

 

“Hello love.” My mother greeted cheerfully, “nice to see you up this early.” I flashed my little girl grin and she laughed, “What has gotten into you?”

I shrugged, “Guess I’m just in a good mood today.”

“Well I’m glad to hear it.” She chimed, “Would you like a toasted tomato sandwich?”

            I shook my head, “It’s definitely too early to eat.” My mother’s mug of coffee clanked as she stirred the steaming liquid with a metal teaspoon.

 

            “You stay right here, I have to get something from my bedroom.” My mother ordered in a devious tone. I frowned trying to figure out what she was up to; of course nothing came to mind. I sat in my chair snuggled into my blanket racking my brain without success. I hoped it was merely a letter from Golden Eye or something but I doubted it.

 

            My mother whirled back into the room, plunking something heavy onto the table and wrapped her arms around me. “Happy birthday!” She sang merrily.

            I sucked in a deep breath through my teeth, my birthday. I tilted my head in my mother’s direction frowning.

            “You forgot.” She said matter of factly and I nodded a little baffled, my thoughts consumed by how fast the time had gone. “Well, no matter because I remembered.” She beamed, “go ahead, open your gift.”

 

            I wearily placed my hands out to the package in front of me, it was a good size box, square and wrapped with laminated feeling wrapping paper. I found a corner where she had slapped on some scotch tape and peeled away at the paper carefully.

            “I don’t know why you bothered to wrap it,” I stated simply. “I can’t see what it is anyway.”

            “Oh come now, what’s a gift without the wrapping paper?”

 

I removed all the paper and felt along the boxes edge until I found the edge of tape that sealed the package closed. Carefully I picked away at the corner until the strip pulled away and I was able to pop the top open.

“What is it?” I asked, digging my hands inside.

“It’s a new CD player. It can hold five disks at one time.”

            “You didn’t have to get me a new one, my old one is fine.” I insisted.

            “Oh I know, but it was getting pretty worn, the buttons were beginning to crack and I figured this one would be easier.”

 

            I pulled the CD player out of the box along with two rectangular speakers and set them on the table, “Thanks mom. It’s great.” I reached up to her and she knelt down so I could give her a gratuitous hug.

            “So. What did you want to do today? You’re the birthday girl so pick anything in the whole wide world.”

 

            I thought about what I wanted. Anything, hmm. In all honestly I wanted to see Jayce. We hadn’t spoken for a few days and it was strange, I missed hearing his sarcastic voice teasing me blithely. Whenever I wasn’t with him I was thinking about him, he always knew how to make me laugh which was a rare treat now a days. Of course I would never admit my secret desire to my mother.

           

“You know what I would like to do? Bake.” I stated simply.

            My mother stifled a laugh, “I tell you you can do anything and you want to bake?” I nodded and she laughed again. “Alright then. What do you want to bake?”

            I shrugged, “Cheesecake, shortbread cookies and pumpkin pie.” I chose the first things that came to mind, the list would keep us busy for most of the day which would in turn distract my mother’s mind away from the fact it was my birthday. I didn’t want her to build up anymore fuss around it then she already had.

“That’s quite the list. What do you say, cheesecake first?”

            “Sounds good. Cherry of course.” I added.

            My mother leaned over and kissed me on the forehead, “let me go get changed then I`ll be right down so we can start okay?”

            I shrugged out of my blanket and got to my feet, “I’ll grab the book.”

 

 

My mom padded her way up the stairs to her bedroom and I waited for her footsteps to halt before wandering over to the chesterfield cabinet where all cook books and home magazines had always been kept. I yanked open the top drawer and let my hands run over the covers of each well used book, the titles on most were imprinted so it was fairly easy for me to tell them apart. Near the bottom of the pile I found the old, cracked book I had been looking for and dusted off the old family recipes.

 

I carried the book over to the table, plunking it down with a heavy thud. Dust powered the air and tickled my nostrils when I breathed in and I left it sitting there while I used my hands to quickly search for the cordless phone.

 

I found it sitting on the edge of the counter, teetering with each slight touch. I punched in the numbers I had subconsciously committed to memory and waited for his voice to pick up.

 

“Hey Quinn, what’s up” Jayce greeted after the third ring.

I slumped down into a wooden, kitchen chair, “oh just baking.” I said unenthusiastically.

Jayce choked on a laugh, “Baking?”

“Baking.” I confirmed.

“What for?”

I had made up my mind to keep him oblivious to the fact is was my twenty second birthday, “I don’t know, bonding time I guess.”

“Awe, well isn’t that just sweet.” He teased.

I groaned, “Yeah, right. Listen, I can’t talk long my mom will be back down soon. I need to get out of the house a little later; too much mommy and me time will drive me insane. You want to do something?” I lowered my voice so I could pinpoint the location of my mom’s footsteps.

“Yeah sure, I guess I can help you escape.” He joked, “where are we running off to?”

“Can we go to your place?” I asked uncertainly.

Jayce’s voice was casual, “Yeah, sure. I’ll meet you at the park and we’ll go from there.”

I nodded although he was blind to the gesture, “great. Give me three hours.” I paused; my mother’s footsteps were bouncing down the stairs. “Got to go.” I pressed the end button and slid the phone across the table.

 

“Alright, we have the book now we just need materials.”

 

My mother flipped through the worn pages, finding our desired recipe’s and called out the ingredients for me to gather. I knew where everything was stashed away and my probing fingers took care of identifying each. Graham crumbs, Cream cheese, sugar, whipped cream, cherry pie filling, vanilla, eggs and a few others. I dug out the cookie cutters and flour for the cookies and pie crust and we lined the individual trays and ingredients along the cluttered countertops in an assembly line fashion.

 

We spent nearly the whole day mixing, blending, baking and icing. Flour dusted the floor and our feet slid dangerously when we needed to move from one end of the kitchen to another. Our clothes were splattered with raw dough, whipped cream and fine icing sugar and I was almost positive I had raw egg glued in my hair.

 

Once our baking was lined neatly in the oven we plopped exhausted on the couch.

“Well. A whole lot of eggs, a bottomless mound of dishes and one huge mess later here we are.” My mother panted as if we had just run a marathon.

“Yeah but everything smells amazing.” I drew in a long whiff of the mixed aromas, pumpkin spice dancing with hot cherry filling and baking sugar. My stomach rumbled with the anticipation.

“That it does. I bet it’ll taste even better.”

 

I nodded and ran my hands through my knotted hair, “Do you mind if I go out for a bit?” I asked carefully, “Just for an hour or so then I’ll come right back to hang out. I promise.” I bargained, stretching out my legs.

My mother laughed, “you do whatever you want chickie.”

“I’ll help with the dishes before I go.” I offered, getting to my feet.

She snorted, “Oh nonsense. It’s your birthday; you just relax and enjoy the day.” I leaned down and gave her a quick hug, “I’ll be here when you get back, then we can sample some of our fine baking.” She gave me a light peck on the cheek and I smiled eager to meet up with Jayce.

“Looking forward to it.” I made my way the few feet to the front and pulled my thick jacket from one of the hooks by the door.

“Oh, honey?” My mother added before I could leave. I turned to face her and she continued, “Tell Jayce I say hi.” She had a sly tone to her voice.

My cheeks flushed with embarrassment, was I that predictable? I could have very well been going out to see Austin or just to have some time alone. I guess mothers do always know their children best. I stepped out into the warming air and closed the door behind me.

 

The air smelt of grass, upcoming rain and drying mud. The snow was melting, various flower assortments would begin to poke up through the bitter winter frost and the heat would return yet another season. I smiled with the thought of the warmth of spring and summer. This would be my first spring since the accident, the first time not witnessing the breathtaking beauty in the rebirth of nature. I sighed, no more colours for me to have the benefit of distinguishing.

 

 

Jayce’s basement apartment smelt surprisingly yummy; like fresh green apples, and it was comfortably warm so I felt no hesitation in shrugging off my jacket. It was somewhat strange being somewhere other than my home, I wasn’t sure what boundaries he had; did I leave my boots cluttered at the door or keep them on? Was I supposed to wait for him to offer a seat or just go ahead and find a spot? I handed Jayce my jacket and shifted my weight from foot to foot nervously.

 

“Do you have to pee or something?” He laughed, kicking my wet boots to the side.

I stopped shuffling and clasped my hands together, “ha ha, very funny.” I grinned.

“I’m glad I could bring some laughter to your day.” He took in a deep breath, “So. This is my place.” He leaned closer to me as if whispering a secret, “be thankful you can’t see the mess.”

I frowned, “I hardly believe that. With this kind of smell?” I breathed in the apples, “no way, I think you’re really a neat and tidy type of guy.”

Jayce placed his hand lightly on my back, uninvasively guiding me forward,

“Who me? C’mon, this is a bachelor pad, dirty socks and old pizza boxes everywhere.” He joked sarcastically and I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah right. I don’t fall for your wild boy image.” I smiled over at him smugly.

“I guess the gig is up then eh? Don’t tell the exotic strippers, they’ll charge me full price next time.”

I rolled my eyes again and found a cushy seat on what seemed like a futon, “oh don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”

 

Jayce’s footsteps padded a few feet away and I heard a few cupboard doors close, “Do you want something to drink? Eat? I’ve got enough Kraft dinner to feed a school full of kindergartens for a year.” He paused, “that includes the making of macaroni necklaces.”

“Is that so? I guess I know where I’ll be heading if KD ever goes out of business.”

“I’ll be here. I’ve even got options for the luxury of company.” I heard a steady stream of water rumble down a drain, “which in this instance is you.”

“Oh what a great host you are.” I joked sarcastically.

“Hey, anything for the ladies. I’ve got spiral noodle, white cheddar, whole wheat, and of course my favourite; extra cheesy.” He turned off the water.

“Why am I not surprised that’s your favourite?” I laughed, “Personally, I prefer the spiral noodles.”

Jayce came back over and flopped on the futon next to me, “Oh, you’re that type.” He said suggestively and I shook my head smiling.

 

“Well, in about eight point five minutes we will have nice cheesy, spiralled KD.” I opened my mouth to protest, to insist I was not hungry but he stopped me before I could say a word, “no, no. I’ve already started making it so now you have to eat some or I’ll be offended.”

I rolled my eyes, “like anything could offend you.”

“Hey, I take offense to that.” He laid his arm across the back of the futon behind my head and I was suddenly very aware of how close he was to me. His leg just barely connected side by side with mine. I didn’t feel uncomfortable in anyway. It was casual.

 

“So. What did you bake me?”

I shrugged, “Take your pick, pumpkin pie, cheesecake or shortbread cookies.”

Jayce stretched out his legs, disconnecting the contact his left had had with mine, “you must have been busy. I’ll take the pumpkin over the others any day. Although I couldn’t very well ignore the others, what kind of person would I be refusing home baked desserts like that?” I shoved his shoulder playfully and he removed his arm from the back of the futon.

“You’re a violent one aren’t you? I think you bruised the muscle.” He said sarcastically mocking my lack of strength.

“Yeah keep it up and I’ll do more than bruise you.” I grinned, balling my hands into fists.

 

Jayce chuckled and lifted himself from the couch to meander into the kitchen. The rattle of hard noodles being splashed into the pot of boiling water was one of the only sounds for a moment. He stayed in the kitchen to occasionally stir the cooking pasta and I turned on the futon to sit cross legged in his direction.

 

“How long have you lived here?” I asked curiously.

The water bubbled, “Ah, about four months or so. It was the first place I looked at when I decided to move.”

The all too familiar smell of cooking noodles flooded his quaint apartment, “why did you move anyway?”

Jayce was thoughtful, taking a moment to gather his thoughts, “well I was in University back where I used to live but things changed and I didn’t finish. My parents harped on me to get my life together so I moved here.”

I shifted into a more comfortable position, “you moved here to get your life together?” I asked surprised. This wasn’t the most famous city around for building lives.

“Yeah, I guess so. It isn’t so bad.”

 

I considered, “What were you in school for?”

“Architecture. I was good at visualizing potential.”

“Wow. Tough career. Why did you drop out?”

Jayce thudded around in a cupboard for a minute before straining the noodles with a waterfall of splashing liquid. “After a year I realised I didn’t want to be an architect anymore.”

            “How come?” I propped my chin with my hand, my elbow resting on my knee.

The fridge door opened and closed, “After studying it I just came to realise it wasn’t for me.” He stated simply. Jayce stirred the KD, mixing in the sauce; the metal spoon he used scraped across the metal pot and I shuddered with the grating sound.

“So now what do you want to do?” I tried to ignore the scraping metal and cringed each time the spoon clattered against the side of the pot.

“I really don’t know. I was hoping that by taking some time off school for a bit I would find something new to try but nothing so far.”

 

Jayce returned to the futon and handed me a bowl, moist steam rose from the contents and soothed my face.

“You really didn’t have to make me anything.” I insisted as I drove the fork into the bowl.

“Well, I was going to make some for myself anyway and I wasn’t going to eat alone.” He spoke while chewing a mouth full of noodles.

I shrugged and took a bite myself; it had been a long time since I had the simple meal of Kraft Dinner and my stomach rumbled with the missed familiar flavours.

 

“Ketchup?” Jayce asked, climbing to his feet. I shook my head and he returned to his seat, “You’re low maintenance, perfect for any guy who can’t cook.”

I laughed and shoved another fork full into my mouth hungrily. I really hadn’t felt famished but now that my body had a taste it begged for it greedily.

 

Neither of us talked for a few minutes while we ate silently, my stomach filled very quickly, it had shrunk from my barely present appetite for those few past months. I groaned with my sore belly and leaned into the back of the futon. Jayce took the half empty bowl from my hand and rose to his feet.

“I thought you weren’t hungry.” He chuckled as he wandered to the kitchen to dump our bowls.

“I wasn’t.” I insisted, holding my swollen belly, “at least I didn’t think I was. I guess you must be a better cook then you give yourself credit for.”

Jayce snorted and moved to stand in front of me, “it doesn’t take much to impress you does it?” He grabbed my hands and pulled me to my feet, “what do you say we head to your place for dessert?”

I groaned again with the thought of more food, “I don’t think I’m physically capable of choking down one more crumb.”

“Awe, c’mon. You can’t let all that baking go to waste now can you?”

 I frowned at him as he led me to the front door. “Well you can have all the baking you want because I might die if I do.” Jayce helped me into my coat and opened the door letting a cool breeze snatch away the heat of his apartment.

“You might think differently after you walk some Kraft Dinner off.”

 

           ***

 

“Surprise!” The sudden, strident noise startled me and I nearly fell backwards into Jayce.

            “Happy birthday sweetheart.” My mother chimed, giving me a light peck on the cheek, “thanks for keeping her preoccupied while everyone got here.” She said to Jayce. I turned around to face him incredulously, “you knew about this?”

He patted my arm and stepped around me, “you underestimate me.” I stood there baffled, mouth agape.

“Well, aren’t you going to greet everyone who came?” He prompted, no doubt grinning at my puzzlement. I shook my head in disbelief and stepped farther into the room.

 

“Hey Quinn.” Austin’s voice spoke as he approached.

“Austin? Hey, who is all here?” I glanced around the room although I couldn’t see my guests.

“Ah, well there’s me and your friend Jayce of course, your grandparents and my dad.”

My eyes widened with surprise, “Your dad? But he hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you, he was just frustrated and angry with you before but he got over it.”My heart pounded hard inside my chest, his dad was here.

 

“Happy birthday love.” My grandparents each took their turns giving hugs.

“How are you doing?” My grandfather asked, holding my shoulders lightly in his hands.

I shrugged, “I’m doing fine, sorry about not returning your calls or anything.” I apologized ashamed.

He laughed his airy laugh and patted my on the back, “water under the bridge, I’m just glad to see you doing better.” He placed his lips close to my ear to whisper, “your mother tells me you have a boyfriend now.”

I nearly choked on my spit, “she said what?”

“He’s a handsome young guy. Seems like a good man.” My grandmother added.

I shook my head baffled, “he’s not my boyfriend.”

My grandmother giggled, “Okay sweetheart, whatever you say.”

 

“Honey, are you going to introduce everyone?” My mother called from across the room. I smiled patiently and excused myself.

“Alright, everyone here already basically already knows who everyone else is,” I paused, “Jayce? Where are you?”

He moved to my side, “right here.”

“Everyone this is Jayce.” I called out to my small handful of guests.” There was a chorus of hellos and a few muffled speculations. Is that her boyfriend? It’s so nice that she met someone. Stephanie says she’s been spending a lot of time with him. I blushed at the comments I caught wind of and hoped Jayce was oblivious.

 

“Where is Austin?” I whispered to Jayce.

He took a minute to glance around then grabbed my wrist, “Over here.”

“Hey.” Jayce greeted as we found Austin.

“Hi.”

I cleared my throat, I was strangely anxious about the two of them meeting. I desperately wanted them to get along, “Uh, Jayce, this is Austin. Austin, Jayce.”

“So you’re the one she’s always talking about.” Austin joked.

“I could say the same thing.” He paused, “nice to finally meet you.”

An awkwardness hung in the air between the three of us and my pulse quickened.

 

“Quinn, Quinn come sit over here so we can do gifts.” I let out a relieved breath. Thanks for the save mom. I smiled over at my two friends and padded my way to the table where my mom’s voice had come from.

“Sit.” She pulled out a chair for me and I sunk into it. “Who’s first?” She called excited.

A package plunked on the table in front of me, “Hope you like it.” Austin said, moving to stand behind me. I smiled back at him before turning my attention on the gift.

“You guys know I don’t like to take presents on my birthday.”

“We wanted to.” My mother chimed. “Open it.”

I sighed and tore away at the paper, exposing the contents inside. My fingers explored it, discovering its identity. I ran my fingers over the hard top; a box of some sort.

“What is it?” I finally asked?

“It’s your favourite book. It has the recorded version inside so you can still enjoy it and the paperback is there too.”

“I smiled, “The boy in the striped pyjamas? Thanks Austin, it’s great.”

 

“Here.” Jayce’s soft voice spoke as he held his gift for me to take.

“Were you carrying this the whole way from your place?” I asked continuing to be surprised.

He laughed, “Yeah, I was hoping you wouldn’t notice the wrapping paper crinkling or anything.”

I took the package on my lap and removed the paper carefully. It was rectangular, about two centimetres thick. My fingertips guided along the smooth, soft top until they found a row of tiny bumps.

“Is this brail?” I asked feeling each sequence.

“Open it.” He insisted. I felt for the edge and realised it was a book. Inside the pages were flooded with more brail. I looked up baffled.

“But I don’t know brail.”

Jayce leaned down to whisper in my ear, “You might want to learn so you can read it.” I could feel his mischievous grin under my skin.

“What does it say?” I asked, my fingers still exploring the many tiny bumps.

“Now what fun would that be if I told you. I’ll learn brail with you, we can try together.”

“I closed the cover and held the book in my hands, “but you already know what this says?”

“Jayce chuckled lightly and lowered his voice, “Well I would hope so, I did write it.”

My eyes widened, “You wrote this? In brail?”

“It took some time to translate it to brail but once I did that it wasn’t too bad. Sewing needle holes work great to create bumps in paper.”

 

I couldn’t believe he had done something like this for me; I jumped to my feet and wrapped my arms around him, “thank you. So much.”

 

After I opened the stack of sweaters and track pants my grandparents had gotten me -no doubt with the guidance of my mother- we sampled some of our fine cooking, mingled in the living room updating one another on current affairs and they sang happy birthday to me against my many protests. Once everyone left me and my mother to the peace of our home I flopped onto my stomach on my bed with the book Jayce had written me lain out in front of me.

 

I wondered what he had written, it was a simple notebook, it’s pages bound together by a single metal spiral and I thumbed through the pages wishing brail was something I had learned weeks ago. Was it a book of poetry? He didn’t seem like the poetic type I reasoned. Maybe a really long letter? Who knew what it was. I rolled onto my back exhausted and let my eyelids roll shut. I listened to my steady breath swish in and out of my lungs relaxed until I eventually dozed off smiling.

Author's Note

i know the ending of this chapter seems kind of rushed, ill be filling it our a little more.

Reviews

[Luna Northstar]

Awwwww, this was soooo sweet!!! I wonder what's going to happen with Jaycee and Austin... Anyway, I loved it; and I can't wait to see what Jaycee wrote in brail.