A letter to you

A letter to the one who left..

Dear my old love,  

 I suppose that if there was one thing I would say if I ever ran into you (not that I would want to) it would be thank you. I would thank you for breaking my heart into pieces so small that I had no choice but to construct something new of myself. You did not destroy me, you are not that powerful and never will be. I would say thank you for letting me love you for the time that we had together. Thank you for exposing, teaching and encouraging me to loving myself. I would say thank you for opening your heart to me and reading me the pages of your heart, mind and past. I would let you know that I do not regret for one second the love that I had for you. In us I learned that love, no matter how strong doesn't conquer all. I would say thank you for teaching me that a person can invest every bit of themselves and 1) not be loved back or 2) fall out of love when they promised never not to. I would say thank you for opening me up to a new world, for leading me to walk on the right side of the street instead of the left, and for pointing out ever dandelion on the left side walk. I thank you for all you taught me, and how you made me laugh at anything and everything. I would thank you for letting me share my secrets and memories with you on those midnight facetime calls. I would thank you my old love, for loving me. (Or so I think you loved me, but I'm not so sure anymore). I would thank you for all the hand written letters with the poorly drawn cartoons of us. But, most of all I would thank you for the way you dedicated yourself to me. How you would message me all night if I didn't feel well, how before I went on trips you'd leave small gifts at my door, how you were always there exactly then I needed you. How you dedicated yourself to love me, especially when I was pretty unlovable. Maybe, I would also ask why you did some of the things you did, but I would still be thankful. I am thankful that you left so quickly that I had no chance to look back on what we had. I am thankful that I don't get to spend the rest of my life (even though we were way too young to make such plans anyways) with someone who hurt me the way you did. I am thankful that you left because you proved to me that too much of a good thing will always be a bad thing. You once told me that I was your fire that was burning up your world and your universe, but that I already was your universe and that it was too late to save our hearts from burning to ash, but I am thankful. I am thankful that my world, that my universe turned to ash, it has given the chance for new flowers and trees to grow, some of which are much more beautiful than the ones from past. I am thankful that you crossed my path in the time that you did. I am thankful for you, your love, and the aftermath of you, but somedays, although I'm thankful that you're gone, I still miss you. 

Not yours for eternity, 

Mily,