War Hero

 

 

He sits and says nothing.

 

His tired eyes

That have seen so much

Bloodshed and horror

Wander towards the calander

 

It's took dark

So he moves his

Creaky old wheelchair

To the calander

 

And stares

 

It's July 4, 2011 today

And his throat

Which has been sore since he came home

Trembles at the date

 

His fingers

Rough and worn from carrying a rifle

Delicately make their way over to

The stump

On his left

 

A large explosion rocks his home

And he shudders in fear

His hands grip the sides of his wheelchair

And he feels vomit crawling up his throat

 

The war is outside of his home

Dark shadows illuminate the streets

And with un-imaginable terror

They walk towards his lawn

 

His name is being called

And explosions rock the skies

He can't scream

He can't even run

 

His door is flung open

And inside step his grandchildren

With sparklers and broad grins

"Happy 4th, Grandpa!"

 

His heart is racing

He is scared

 

It's the 4th of July again

Author's Note

I love America, dont get me wrong, I was just wondering what all the fireworks and such would look like to a war hero who has PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

Reviews

[nono]

I wrote something like this...a long...long...long time ago. I like this poem. A nice dedication. I absolutely love this poem. Its a good poem that shows what is, has, and will continue to happen for a while to come. Hopefully not to much longer. Keep up the great work.

[Star Wolf]

This is awesome! Very sad poem showing the damage that war does to those who fought in them. I think often times that is forgotten and it is overlooked by those who send soldiers to far off places to fight questionable wars.

[Luna Northstar]

I ADORED this poem... seriously. The meaning of the poem tugged at you heartstrings... It's even worse because you KNOW it's true. And you KNOW it happens a lot more often than America would like to admit. After all he put in for this country... what does he get? A memory he can NEVER forget.... it's so depressing, but it's the truth. I love the raw truth of it all, and the perspective was great!

"It's (took) dark" TOOK~~~> too

But... yeah, that's it! Can't really find any mistakes.... I like the simple sentences, like "He is scared". Usually that would be considered telling instead of showing, but it's so simple that it gives the reader a visual... if that makes sense!

My only suggestion would be on this : I LOVE the line "explosions rock his home", because it brought his memories to life. Perhaps adding a "in-life flashback". Maybe the 'stump' is covered in blood, maybe he feels pain pulsing from he chest, he's clammy, he hears the screams of his dead friends. Details like that to build suspense... But that might break the flow or mess with you idea (like I said, just a suggestion).

The desrpitions were remarkable, overall, nicely done =) Amazing write, as ALWAYS! 100/100

[Steve P]

Independence Day... Anzac Day... Remembrance Day... I don't think it matters what country you hail from - war is no discriminator of race or background.

What you write may as well be the nightmare of the ANZAC veteran, or a British or European vet; it makes no difference where they come from.

I don't think anybody really understands what these men and women went through, and what they still go through every day. I have the privilege of being acquainted with several Vietnam War veterans, and the stories they can tell of what they saw and endured would chill your blood.

That said, I appreciate the sentiment of this poem. Do we really stop to think about how our returned servicemen and women feel about it all?

[Kiri Nells]

The first three words in your author's note... I can't say I agree. I hope that doesn't offend anybody, but I seriously don't enjoy the political corruption or the culture 90% of the people have given into. It's not freedom anymore, the way things are run, and most people are blind to that. The poor souls in the military that fight so hard and give up their life to defend something that has left them in the dust--

Anyway, I love how you tried to capture things through a different perspective. Always let your curiosity take you somewhere. :) Great job!

[Sam]

This is amazing. Perfect for fourth of July. I really like it. I read it twice :)