Chapter Two: Burnt Oatmeal...How Does THIS Work??!!

"Eddddwwwaaaarrrrddd! Wake uuuuupppp!"

 

My eyes said "No, I don't wanna wake up!" as they slammed themselves down harder. I was too tired to get up today. I had hardly slept a wink last night! Stupid Nazis. I couldn't roll over before hearing "Heil Hitler!" shouted out into the nighttime sky. See, if it were me, I'd be shouting something not-so-nice. It would involve swears. But since children could be reading this, I'll be a good boy and censor myself early.

 

"Ed! Seriously! Breakfast is getting cold!"

 

"Alright, alright! I'm coming!" I shouted as I forced myself to open my eyes and sit up.

 

My head was pounding with a killer headache as I stood and stretched my arms wide.

 

Thump.

 

I looked down at my wooden bedroom floor to see that my harness had fallen off...again. My arm soon followed suit as it fell to the ground. "This bites," I whispered to myself as I put my arm in place.

 

Okay, let me talk to you, man to man. Or man to woman. Or man to alien. Whatever. I was in an...accident as a kid, and because of this I lost my right arm and left leg. So, because of this, I wear a harness around my chest to keep my arm in place. If the harness goes, so does my arm. And take it from me, this happens much more than it should. The best part? It's just my arm. Not my leg. Nope, my leg is fine. It's just my arm.

 

I stretched again (with my arm holding up) and slipped on my itchy cotton robe. I sighed, my headache getting worse.

 

Downstairs, my roomate Alfons Heiderich looked incredibly peeved. In his hands was a plate of mushy looking oatmeal. My face twisted in digust, but I tried not to show it. However, I was too late. "What's with the face, Ed?" he asked, and I shook my head. "Coffee?" he asked a second later, and I gave a faint nod.

 

I leaned forward, taking in the smell of the oatmeal. Even if it looked like a cow threw it up, it still smelled like cinnamon. Hungry, I ladled a small bit of it in my spoon. Alfons placed a steaming cup of coffee in front of me. I grunted, the smell of cinnamon and coffee creeping into my nose.

 

"So Ed," Alfons started, sitting in front of me and taking a sip of his own cup, "did you sleep well?" I shook my head. "Nazis again," I whispered, my head increasing with pain. Alfons gave a nod as he shoveled some oatmeal into his mouth. I let a bit of my own oatmeal spill onto my tounge, but immedietly I spit it all back out. "What'd you do?!" I shriek, "throw it in the oven??"

"Thats not how you cook it?" he asks, staring at the oven door he left open. I slap my face. Leave it to Alfons to make me lose braincells over breakfast.

 

Then again, it was easy to do that now-a-days.

 

Heck, who am I kidding? It was ALWAYS easy to do that.

 

Stomach and head groaning in unison, I shove the burnt oatmeal in my mouth, washing it down with my just-as-burnt coffee. "Did you dream, at least?" Alfons asks, and I nod. "About?" he asks a second later, and I pause.

 

I froze for two reasons: one, because holding the suspense is fun. I like to make readers squirm. So, to hold it, I'm going to do...this!!

 

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Heh, heh, heh. I love doing that.

 

Second reason: I'd rather not talk about it.

 

So, I lie. "No, no I didn't."

Author's Note

Short once again! :D

Reviews

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

Wow this was funny. I love how he burnt the oatmeal.
And Ed was like did you put it in the oven.
And he was like, "That's not how you do it?"
LOL I love how you just made it suspenseful

[dachildofevil]

hahahaha
suspense is fun! lmao

[YouoweYoupay]

Lol. a very good fan-made version of the famous japanese animation series. I laughed when Ed commented on the horrible oatmeal s**t in that bowl. XD You got me interested. I'll def. read some more.

-Wella.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

I like how you broke through the 4th wall here at the end.
That was a really nice touch.

[Keevan]

I can't wait to read more! >_<

And I still think it's funny that it's censored still. :P