Personal Shamballa

How relieved I was to not hear bones against concrete.

Ed had caught his brother just in time. Al's face was flushed and pale, and he looked scared out of his mind. "Thank you Nii-San....now put me down," he said in a calm voice. Ed let his brother go and Al stood. I blew the smoke from the gun nozzle and reloaded. "Now all that's left is to go through the portal. To Shamballa," I said. Al looked into the large portal above us.

 

The one I had opened. And with alchemy, at that.

 

Al jumped, suddenly excited. "Wow, Koda! I don't even think Nii-San could have made such a portal open! You really are worthy of being my teacher!" he exclaimed, and I froze. "Hmm? What's this about a teacher?" Ed asked me, a sly grin on his face. "Oh...well, um...you see, after Izumi died, her Will said I was supposed to teach Al alchemy....but I think there was some sort of mistake..." I began before an angry wind circulated through the room. The portal was shrinking, and we only had a limited time to make it through. "There's no guarantee we'll be able to pass back through if we go in!" I called over the circulating winds. "The blood of Hohenheim is running thin!" I said. "What?! Dad..?!" Ed called, but he was interrupted by the loud wind. "Let's just go! We have to save Shamballa!" I said.

 

It was Ed that jumped through first. Al, using all the strength he had left, jumped through after him. Finally, I gathered up the courage to jump in too.

 

Surprisingly, we didn't pass through the Gate. Just through a bright light.

 

 

When my face hit concrete, I was scared. But I could smell smoke, and feel heat around me. Shamballa's destruction had already begun. That meant my time to save the people was shortened. But when I lifted my face and opened my eyes, a whole ripple of shock went through me.

 

We weren't in Shamballa.....we were in Resembool.

 

My town....my home town.....under attack.

 

The portal was the mirror. I get it now. "Shamballa", the ultimate paradise....the world beyond...Resembool...the alchemic world....my home WAS Shamballa all along!

 

This hit me too fast for my head to comprehend, and I threw up all over the ground. When I was able to breathe, I looked around for Ed and Al, but they were nowhere to be seen. "Ed? Al?" I called in a meek voice, but no one replied. Suddenly, a large explosion slammed into the air, and I covered my ears. Peoples screams were loud. The fear was obvious to spot.

 

Everyone was dying.

 

I stood up, holding the gun tight in my hand. Now, here I was, puny, tiny me, expected to take on a big, big enemy. Envy was spiraling into insanity and jealousy. He had unimaginable powers now. I felt like dropping to my knees and giving up. Everything seemed so hopeless. "I can't do this....I can't do this...." I said outloud, tears swelling in my eyes.

 

I had made a promise to myself those two years ago when I had seen Al off on the train to his alchemy training. I had promised I'd carry on Ed's name and work hard, so he could never again say I cry too easily. These two years I had become strong, moving up ranks in the military and going on more missions. I thought living through bloodshed would make me a better, stronger girl. But no. Here I was, ready to throw my gun on the ground and give it all up. Resembool was done for, and I had sent my two closest friends out into it's doom beyond. This was all my fault. "Why am I doing this?!" I screamed, holding onto my head and throwing my gun onto the ground.

 

This is it...game over...I've wasted all nine of my lives....Me? The hero? What was I thinking?! I'm nothing but a mechanic! An 18 year old mechanic lucky enough to get a spot in the military! I'm a dreamer! Look what I've done....look at what I've caused!!!

 

Tears poured like rain, the screams of the people ringing all through my ears.

 

I can't go on....I just can't--

 

A hand stretched out in front of me, as if they wanted me to grab on and move ahead. I stopped looking down long enough to see who it was.

 

"C'mon! We have more to do today! Don't give up yet!"

 

Ed was smiling the way we used to when we were little. My mind traveled back to the time we were running, and how he had helped me up when I fell. This time, I felt myself blush and that same inspiring awe filled me. "Ed...you didn't leave me behind...." I said, letting go of my head.

 

"What's my reason to leave you behind? Now c'mon, it's your turn to be the hero," he said, nudging his hand at me in a way that said take it. I nodded, picked up my gun, and grabbed his hand. He smiled, then let go. "Let's go!" he cried, pointing ahead, and with that, we were off.

 

To save the world.

 

To save our personal Shamballa.