It Will Never Go Away [Shot In The Back]

It will never go away.

 

No matter how much I sleep at night

No matter how many hours I toss and turn

No matter how often I lose myself in helpless prayer

 

It will never go away.

 

I've never gotten shot in the back

But I can imagine it's a similar pain

And no matter how many times I tell you I'm sorry

I know it won't fix it, and I know

 

It will never go away.

 

If I could cry a river of blood

While biting my lip and drinking liquid salt

For you, my friend, I would

It would show you how sorry I was, but even with all that

 

It will never go away.

 

It makes me wonder how many hours you

Spent crying over the phone, waiting for family photos

That would never come, can never come

And it hit you then that this lonliness you feel, no matter how long you sob

 

It will never go away.

 

My insides burn and beg to be stabbed

A knife I'm sure God will plunge in me Himself

A precious gem buried under crusted dirt

That, even with enough polishing using my finest napkin, those stains on you

 

Shall never go away.

 

You shouldn't lie when it comes to adult matters like this

I know I've done you wrong, I know it's unforgiveable

Swing your bat against my ribs, make me feel the pain I inflicted on you

Hit me so hard that I bruise, make it so no matter how much medicine I swallow

 

It will never go away.

 

I've already tied a rope around my neck

Cut the line, promised to live

Killing myself? No, not yet. I dont have the will

But Im sure the desire to, no matter how much I cry

 

It will never go away.

 

How many times have you screamed because of me?

How many times did you curse my name, spit on the phone?

You should do it more often, what with a monster like me

A child with her father's blood, and even though I pray it be gone

 

It will never go away.

 

So tell me everything you've ever wanted

And tell me everything about me you hate

And I promise that when you put your gun to my back

 

I will do my best to go away.

Author's Note

Friends dont hurt other friends, so what I've done...is too much. How dare I call myself a friend to you when Ive done nothing but cause damage and scars? I can never forgive myself, so even though that is probably not enough, I hope you take that as some sort of retribution for my actions. I'm sorry.

Reviews

[Bluefire]

This is very deep and emotional. I like the way it was written, the mechanics and wordchoice were perfect with the mood and flow of the poem.
"A child with her father's blood, and even though I pray it be gone
It will never go away." This line reall hit home for me, and it's one of my favorites. As well as, "I've never gotten shot in the back
But I can imagine it's a similar pain"
Very well done! ^^

[Admiral Kirk]

Wow... this is very deep and powerful... The guilt and regrets here speak of someone who really deserves to be forgiven...

[Axel]

Oh my, I'm honestly sorry that this type of pain is hurting you badly. Some friends do hurt each other, and then it ends up loosing them, I had that a few times. Don't let something like this effect your life or yourself, just stay strong and wait for her forgiveness, people always forgive each other.

[∠( ᐛ 」..]

the same thoughts and feelings I've had when I lost my friend.. This really made me cry, I really hope that she forgives you :'( if you need any cheering up or friendship-power, you know that I'm here for you :)
100/100

[DrD]

We cannot force others to forgive us, so we must compensate by forgiving ourselves. You are young and entitled to errors so suck it up and understand that you're a good person or you wouldn't feel so badly about this. In the meantime, you have done a good job of expressing feeling and that's one of the most difficult things within this art form.

[Rae]

Hey, sometimes we do hurt other people, it's what we humans do. If you are truly sorry, I'm sure your friend would forgive you, though it's not really any of my business to say. Amazing poem. ^^

[David the writer]

I know how you feel here. I love this poem cause it his relatable to me, n it's written well. From reading this, reading your review saying that i'm talented is even more awesome

[Kaylor Mason]

If I had to choose between a bullet in the back and a heartbreak . . . I'd definitely choose heartbreak. No matter how guilty you feel, anything's better than a couple of slugs in the spine

[_]

I know the feeling to have been shot...hurts like hell. I like your poem. I'm in not the greatest of moods right now, but this just went along with my situations. Lovely poem :3 as always!