Memory Gun [Throw Up a Little Salt]

Losing a friend hurts; knowing they just don't want you anymore is worse.

 

I know we met under false images

Fake beliefs, fake names

A family of three shot with reality's handgun

And if this moon could rise for me

Then, dear friend, you forgave me then didn't you?

 

We talked often

Made up stories, drew pictures

Forged love stories from other's ideas

And if this moon could rise for me

Then, dear friend, why did that all dissapear?

 

I had a needle in my hand

And used it to sew my lips shut

Even as blood dripped down my chin and onto the carpet

I still refused to burn my personality

A secret painted black, a feeling of abandonment locked away

 

What? No, I dont know who he is

You only briefly gave me details

But I know he makes you happy, right?

After what she did to you

A smile was a miracle, a gift I could only wish for

 

The other day I tried to write a story for you

A letter, an apology for my silence

But then, like that family of three

I was shot in the head with a memory gun:

I remembered I was probably not wanted anymore

 

I knew those stories would catch up to me

I knew those fake names, fake beliefs, fake hopes

I knew they'd all burn before my eyes

My heart thumps against my ribs, my hands tremble with my lies

I can't scream, my mouth hurts from the needle I used

 

I jumped into that water, yknow,

Hoped I'd drown, instead survived

I wish I could forget, wish I could be patient and kind

But how can I when I know you're growing up and out of me?

It's painful, but I won't sit by anymore

 

The bus is coming to take me away from this place

And as I walk with my backpack, I throw up a little of salt onto the ground

I wont sit down, I'll be reminded I'm alone

Instead I'll stand in the road and brace for impact

Goodnight friendship, goodbye friend

Author's Note

I feel alone, but what to say? If I speak, then surely I'm clingy?

Reviews

[Rae]

Losing a friend really does hurt. And I know most of my friends don't want me anymore, but I refuse to accept it. I felt so many strong emotions from this poem and I loved every bit of it. Sometimes you have to be clingy to keep friends. I learned that when I entered high school. XP Great job with the poem. Keep on writing. ^^

[Love Demon]

I can feel A lot of sad emotions and terrible pain. This poem is really strong and sad, yet its well written by a wonderful writer :) I know how it feels to loose a friend, it happened to me many times, it made me feel like stabbing myself on the arm... Strange .... Great poem (even tho its still really sad) 100 ^^

[MadeCheaply]

Im sorry.
This is a great write though.

[J. Viands]

Solid man solid! I like the style I find myself writing in the manner a lot lately writing someone I can’t speak to anymore. I find when it’s that close to home it can get more real and descriptive... Bravo

[_]

D: That's so sad! Oh my god i feel bad and terrible! I hate losing a friend only cause they change after getting popular even after knowing them for years. Wow, nice poem but sad meaning to it!. :(

P.S Oh my god its Shrillex! :D